so inspiring! 23 months ago
The Buddha was sitting under a tree talking to his disciples when a man came and spit on his face. He wiped it off, and he asked the man, “What next? What do you want to say next?” The man was a little puzzled because he himself never expected that when you spit on somebody’s face, he will ask, “What next?” He had no such experience in his past. He had insulted people and they had become angry and they had reacted. Or if they were cowards and weaklings, they had smiled, trying to bribe the man. But Buddha was like neither, he was not angry nor in any way offended, nor in any way cowardly. But just matter-of-factly he said, “What next?” There was no reaction on his part.
Buddha’s disciples became angry, they reacted. His closest disciple, Ananda, said, “This is too much, and we cannot tolerate it. He has to be punished for it. Otherwise everybody will start doing things like this.”
Buddha said, “You keep silent. He has not offended me, but you are offending me. He is new, a stranger. He must have heard from people something about me, that this man is an atheist, a dangerous man who is throwing people off their track, a revolutionary, a corrupter. And he may have formed some idea, a notion of me. He has not spit on me, he has spit on his notion. He has spit on his idea of me because he does not know me at all, so how can he spit on me?
“If you think on it deeply,” Buddha said, “he has spit on his own mind. I am not part of it, and I can see that this poor man must have something else to say because this is a way of saying something. Spitting is a way of saying something. There are moments when you feel that language is impotent: in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I’m asking, “What next?”
The man was even more puzzled! And Buddha said to his disciples, “I am more offended by you because you know me, and you have lived for years with me, and still you react.”
Puzzled, confused, the man returned home. He could not sleep the whole night. When you see a Buddha, it is difficult, impossible to sleep again the way you used to sleep before. Again and again he was haunted by the experience. He could not explain it to himself, what had happened. He was trembling all over and perspiring. He had never come across such a man; he shattered his whole mind and his whole pattern, his whole past.
The next morning he was back there. He threw himself at Buddha’s feet. Buddha asked him again, “What next? This, too, is a way of saying something that cannot be said in language. When you come and touch my feet, you are saying something that cannot be said ordinarily, for which all words are a little narrow; it cannot be contained in them.” Buddha said, “Look, Ananda, this man is again here, he is saying something. This man is a man of deep emotions.”
The man looked at Buddha and said, “Forgive me for what I did yesterday.”
Buddha said, “Forgive? But I am not the same man to whom you did it. The Ganges goes on flowing, it is never the same Ganges again. Every man is a river. The man you spit upon is no longer here. I look just like him, but I am not the same, much has happened in these twenty-four hours! The river has flowed so much. So I cannot forgive you because I have no grudge against you.”
“And you also are new. I can see you are not the same man who came yesterday because that man was angry and he spit, whereas you are bowing at my feet, touching my feet. How can you be the same man? You are not the same man, so let us forget about it. Those two people, the man who spit and the man on whom he spit, both are no more. Come closer. Let us talk of something else.” 23 months ago
I have to wait till I get back to school to start running and going to the gym again. For now, I am just trying to limit holiday bloat-age.
Until then, I’ve decided to make a list of reasons why the difference between 135lbs and 125lbs is important to me.
1. Health: I feel like I have more health issues than I did 10 lbs ago. For example, I feel that cyclically the hormones get a little out of control and I get depressed, angry and unable to operate normally. I’ve tried more conventional remedies for this (the pill) but that didn’t seem to work for me. So I’m just going to try and go back to how things were when I didn’t have this problem.
2. Stress: I’m a student. Nuff said! I take school seriously. My program is competitive and at times rather cut throat. Sometimes, when I’m cramming for an exam I wonder how many years of my life this stress is taking from me. In one respect, I am a very “keep calm and carry on” type of person. I hardly ever panic and I believe in faking it till you make it. But in another respect, putting on that front is also stressful and takes an emotional toll. If I were a little healthier I think I could cope better.
3. Vanity: I’m 20 and I can’t help it. Looking good is something that I care about. I’m the girl that dresses well and puts in effort to look pretty for exams because I believe that when you look good, you do good. While I’m young, I want to live,and look good doing it.
4. Its the person I want to be: You live once. Life seems so sad, when you’re always reaching for something more than what you have. But I think its necessary. I don’t want to be the person that “loses weight” I want to be the person that cares enough about herself to be healthy. Who is organized enough to make time. Who is disciplined enough to stick to it. There is a lot that I like about myself… but I find myself constantly admiring this in others.
Thats all for now. Wait I lied! I downloaded the myfitnesspal iPhone app for free and I think I might actually use this one! Check is out!
-pink xxx 23 months ago
A little bit of history, for my own sake. Was always a large child. Always, perhaps it was in my genes, or just the way I was raised, but I had a very negative attitude towards good eating and exercise. Long story short -> bad attitude/ lack of understanding.
But I danced, and loved dance with every bit of soul that I have. Throughout the course of high school, I lost about 40 lbs. By just changing my eating habits (taking control of things), dancing frequently, and walking. I would walk anywhere and everywhere. My highest ever weight was 162 and my lowest was 116. When I was in grade 12 I felt gorgeous, but I was constantly pushing towards the 116. But my body was alot happier and healthier at around 120-125 and so that is where I stayed. Mistake #1 -> treating THAT like a failure. Hello attitude issues! Looking back, I can say that I had a problem then. Losing weight was always on the top of my mind, and I was obsessive about what I ate. At any rate, I left home for university at around 122lbs, to study science. Demanding course load + life upheavals = new weight ~138lbs.
The summer after first year, I worked full time at the university but had no other major plans. This is when I started running. What a battle that was, I was so afraid to start, absolutely terrified I would be too weak and supremely envious of those who did it so non-nonchalantly. Mistake #2 -> not recognizing what a massive win it was to START something I feared. So I started running, often. Every day, sometimes twice a day. I fell in love with the gym, toned, tried new things and ate healthy while I was on my own. Mistake # 3 -> obsessed again. If I didn’t make it to the gym twice a day, I would feel like such a fail. Nobody is perfect though and I often ate super junky stuff with my friends. Result at the end of summer -> could run 5k every day and weighed around 126ish lbs.
Second year happened, whooped school’s ass but went through a lot of very difficult personal things. Result at the end of the year -> near 4.0GPA but 140lbs.
The summer after second year, I once again worked full time, but also attended a 2 month prep course and studied for the MCAT. Tried, desperately to find the time to run, but was struggling to keep up with life. Result at the end of that summer? -> MCAT in the bag and 132lbs. Now in the middle of third year… I am holding out around 135 lbs but I KNOW I can do better than that. Since I am done with the MCAT I will be working/ travelling this summer and I really want to break this cycle. I’m at home at the moment, very far from my digital scale, so I can’t say for sure what the weight is now. But I am being realistic.
My goal is to get down to 125lbs by the end of the school year. No obsessing, eating will happen and running needs to be something that makes me happy again.
Wow.. what a rant! I won’t be offended if no one reads this whole thing. It was more important that I write it anyways :) 23 months ago