Do you still see each other ? or, if not, do you phone, or are you still in contact at all (i keep it down to text and email, we don’t phone anymoar) ?
There is one ex that I kind of keep in touch with on Facebook. The reason why I am able to is because we didn’t have a horrible awful breakup. It was mainly distance that was an issue. So, there wasn’t anything for bad feelings between us. At the same time, he still really isn’t “part of my life” in a significant way.
I don’t keep in touch with any other exes, because it would be too weird. The breakups were bad. I don’t think you can be friends with someone if there was a brutal break up. Especially if you weren’t really friends when you dated (if that makes sense).
Have you remained friends ? good friends ? friends with benefits maybe ? just benefits, no friendship (does that exist) ? on and off lovebirds ? or are you worst enemies now perhaps ?
I have sort of tried the friends thing, or the on again off again, but that is just ways to hurt yourself. It’s best to have clear boundaries.
Remaining friends is only really possible if there are no romantic feelings left, and also no feelings of hurt or regret. I would say that it isn’t possible for 99% of exes to be real friends.
Do you have a healthy relationship to your ex/exes ? Do you feel resentment ? have feelings for them still ? like if you’re in good terms, do you get confused about your feelings or do you leave the past where it is ?
I have personally found that it is just better to move on. Even with the one ex I am friendly with, that mainly works because we really aren’t part of each other’s lives. I just don’t have any bad feelings about him. I also only friended him on Facebook many years after us dating. We were both very over each other, married, and so on.
If there were any confused feelings it wouldn’t work at all.
Do you spy on their whereabouts every once in a while/obsessively (personally, the less i know, the better, i just pretend we live in parallel universes and live my life) ? or are you the one running from them maybe ?
I have googled exes, and that’s about it. These days, I would rather not know. I’m happier allowing the past to be the past.
Do you get jealous ? Do you talk about your love life to each other ? Are you/would you be happy about them having someone else ? Do you maybe know their new partner and even get along with them, drink beer and go shopping ?
The ex that I talk to on Facebook is a great person. I’m happy for him. He’s married, and has kids, and has the job he always wanted. What makes that possible is that I am happy with my life, and with my husband.
I really don’t have anything to do with him face to face. I don’t really think that would be that weird, I think my husband would like him. I just don’t see the point.
I would never try to be friends with any of my other exes.
Do you keep their stuff, hang on to memories ? or burn everything while chanting “hail Satan” ? What do you think i should have for lunch ?
I’ve kept some stuff, but only if I have positive memories that make me smile. I got rid of all the stuffed animals and such that one guy gave me, because there was no way I could be happy looking at them. I felt that all of those gifts were lies, because he couldn’t have been sincere. I burned all the love notes from him too. That break up was so bad it made me question the validity of the whole relationship.
I kept pictures from a different relationship, because I was okay remembering those parts of my life. They didn’t make me feel badly. I felt that what we had was sincere, for most of the time we were together.
I did have one ex try to reach me through Facebook and I didn’t friend him, because I knew I couldn’t just be friends without bringing up all of my old conflicted feelings. There was no way I could do that to my husband, because he knows it wouldn’t be possible for me to just be friends with this person.
Basically, the moment you struggle with the idea of whether or not you could just be friends, you know you can’t be.
The only time it works is when you almost don’t care that you used to date, and it wouldn’t matter to you one way or another if you saw them again or not. 3 weeks ago