is just gonna go

Recent entries from john_swale
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I feel different – although as different as I often do feel. Like with an odd feeling of enthusiasm and drive.
Which never actually goes anywhere.
It’s odd because nothing has actually changed.

However it’s probably time to not be so negative and hide it all behind a blazing glory of being a Rupert. Get stuff done and have people be happy. 3 months ago


Add me to the list; always good to be part of it. 3 months ago

john_swaleMeow indeed

Its not like that. But
Gifts are meant to mean something to one or both of the people. So like if you say I’d like A I could at least get you that. Or a girl at work got her mum a double picture frame. With the first picture of her and her brothers together on the day one was born and a recent photo they had taken.
Now thats a really sweet gift.

I’d rather get something small that meant something then some really expensive item. Not saying that an xbone wouldn’t be good or an acca unit paid for. 3 months ago


It must; I would come over but I may be a bit old for you at 26 :P 3 months ago

john_swaleA series of nods and winks

I’ve actually had it a few times recently where I’ve held the door for someone. Or let a lady go through first and its been mentioned or like she’s looked at me not understanding whats going on.

Well you don’t look a day over 27. Guess it depends what your work is. Plus its Arizona and its mighty far away. 3 months ago

john_swaleTorso lightbright

being lonely; always being like a third wheel everywhere as well.
not having fun with christmas
needing to improve work – process improvements
needing to improve how I work and am with people as everyone views me as grumpy and awkward and just no good points at all
needing to work on acca
needing to improve myself
needing to play more games and all the other stuff.
nice little chat with one of the ladies at work and her giving me a banana.

what did I get for christmas
- thanks for the cards from those who know who they are on here
- looking forward to the secret santa gift when it arrives

- £60 in total
- shower gel (got enough already – and not really too much of a gift)
- some cinnamon biscuits (do like them)
- a tie (have enough already and its just striped like all my others)
- some aftershave (at least a bit more thoughtful but I do have enough)
- a charitable donation – the one person who followed my wishes
- some pajamas (got enough already)

So yea I am that ungrateful. Just feels that a gift should be something which either shows something gifter or giftee. Or at least just what the person wants. So like that book or stuff.
It does feel bad me saying that but for the second (more than just two) christmas which is just like sigh whats the point. 3 months ago


So he’s 17?
Sounds like I should probably come work in your place ;)
He’s probably not messing maybe just being nice and brought up well. 3 months ago


Well seeing that you’re cute – he fancies you. Go for it!
Actually he’s probably just being nice but you never know ;) 3 months ago

john_swaleback against the one and all

la jeu de la crosse the game of the stick.


I may have googled
mine to be honest so its
not as good as your s

okay that doesn’t work but for right now it may have to be good enough sorrt 3 months ago

john_swaleits a chrismas miracle

I can but try – although we’ll see if I keep the title this year. Plus don’t forget I’m sure your santa has gotten you a perfect gift and you’ll be just as happy with this as last year :D 4 months ago

john_swalekooc ot emit sti

Is there no lacrosse played in the area? Oh well no matter. Magnolia is one of the nicest things as well.

tears in my eyes
my Magnolia is losing her flowers
making me sad

making me sad
every year again
blossoms fall

blossoms fall
after a glorious time
tears in my eyes 4 months ago

john_swaletorn ligaments and swollen muscles
Maybe writing stuff here would be a good habit to get back into. Along with a good few other things.
Especially where I feel a bit lost on whats going on. Although it feels like I talk some things ‘up’ even if they’re negative.
And a shout out to Snow – even though I’ve missed like the whole of Borgen :S bloody The Bridge 2 starts soon!
We had our christmas party on Friday. The girl I asked out a while ago was there and she was just stunning!
She always looks cute I honestly find it difficult sort of looking at her because I want to be with her, and then looking away because her smile is like a light. On Friday she was absolutely stunning auburn hair, red dress. Lots of inappropriate thoughts in my mind then and now.
Sent her an email – just asking if she had a good night but she’s not in the office so. Also this time we didn’t talk (although last time I was very drunk) and not lots of eye contact. A friend of mine has said I need to talk to her on a night out which is true, not sure how though. Not that good at that plus does she like me at the end of the day she turned me down when I asked her out before. I do really like her though and not just because she’s fit.
Went to the gym today as well my 5k time has increased. Even with a gap it’s gotten worse and so it’s just not right. Need to work on that and everything with it. Video games as well going through them systematically.
My courses need to be saved up for before I can book on them so thats another thing.
My work isn’t too good. I’m not perfect at all. But there are areas I want to improve and it honestly feels like they just don’t want to do it. I like helping people and helping get stuff right and get stuff done. But it reaches a point of if you give me something wrong. Then you go sort it I’m going to tell you its wrong and if you want it done you give it back right.
So as always lots to work on. And I’ve written that about a million times! 4 months ago


What did you have for breakfast today?
I didn’t actually have any breakfast today, but yesterday it was a fry up
How do you like your eggs?
Any way really. Eggs Benedict is maybe the best but only as a treat
How do you like your coffee?
black, strong. Marine coffee I guess
What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
hmmm not too sure – I like the idea of trying other sandwiches and stuff. But monte cristo or philly cheesesteak are ones I’m sure I’d like
Describe your ideal dinner.
without being too soppy – one with the girl I like
What is your best dish?
The only thing I’ve really ‘cooked’ was chicken wrapped in parma ham. With mushrooms and spinach. with potatoes (can’t remember how I did them), and Roquefort
What is your favorite beverage?
coke by number, but I normally like something cold all in all and probably fizzy so anything like that4 months ago


only 3,686.86 mi. So basically round the corner. 4 months ago


To be fair the creak of the front porch; listening willingly to the problems of the world being resolved at dusk. All sounds good :)

I could come over watch some lacrosse and stop by. 4 months ago


Would there be any invitations to your house ma’am? 4 months ago

john_swalePens down

My exam for this was today. Again we find out on Feb 8th.
Obviously fingers crossed I’ve passed. 4 months ago


The best part is with them being in my room no one does see them. But I do read them :P
lol have you watched Father Ted? (there is a real link that made me smile) 4 months ago

john_swaleIt is done

So Santa has asked me to click purchase using his credit card on a few things. Because he can’t get his hands on the items they’re not actually going to be wrapped.
So really the bigger surprise is the packages just arriving at your house and you having no clue what and who. That’s how he rolls apparently.

But heres a puppy to make up for it. 4 months ago

john_swaleits only stuff

I actually have quite a lot of stuff to be fair. But all in all it wouldn’t bother me to give it away.
Its something I keep meaning to get rid.
Most of the stuff I have I want to actually ‘use’ so its say a dvd that I bought to watch. Or shelves of books to read and games to play.
But other than that and some useful stuff say the laptop; tv and xbox.
See now stash is different stash is the sentimental stuff sadly for me most of it is like from my ex. So its stash that should go but isn’t.
Really the reason I hold onto things are to show people who’ll never see it anyway that I’ve read this and watched that. 4 months ago

john_swalesnappy title that may be confusing

But I can’t watch any of them until after this Monday – so that’ll be another double I’ll miss.
With it being the last series there may be some tying up but it’l probably all play through and you’ll think those crafty danes
Not sure why but just decided that they can’t be watched until after the exams.
Nopers its on sky atlantic so thats off my radar but I may just look it up online.
I may just have to save up and jump over to Denmark; Norway; Sweden; Finland and have some time off to be honest. 4 months ago


so this was very under used.
My exam was today for this and I’ll find out on the 8th of Feb. Just got to revise – and by revise I mean read for the first time my F4 stuff for next monday :F 4 months ago


right now I’m four episodes behind so it looks like it’ll be either totally legal internet watching or dvd for this series for me.
Have you watched any of the tunnel? You know the remake of the bridge. 4 months ago

john_swaleFloating vibes

As a quick update if it matters. I’ve been ‘busy’ and by busy I mean being a little bitch.
Exam on Monday and the next Monday after that.
Went to a gig last friday and crashed at one of the guys places – they were going and suggested I come with. It was good.
Also had a few texts with a girl thats cute. But I don’t know whats going on almost.
Lets check the tape; M is me V is her. What do you think.
I put in what I thought was a flirty way almost
M: at least I’m here at the end of the day
V: Huh
M: I was just trying to be jokey and flirty, didn’t work I guess.
V: lol oops sorry!
then she was saying that this weekend she’s going to see a film with a friend.
M: if you have some time we could meet up after my exams.
V: Yeah ok
M: Sure? You don’t have to you know.
This is when she was confused about if I was saying about watching it with her I think.
V: Oh do you mean watch catching fire? Sorry I’m watching it with a friend on sunday.
M: No I just meant in general. I wouldn’t get in the way of what you’ve already got set up.

So yea I don’t know what she’ll say back or if I should just say I was asking her out kind of thing. I don’t think she is interested.

Work sucks too. So yea thats where we’re up to. 4 months ago

john_swaleIts Borgen of course :P

What did you think of it?
I was so looking forward to it; and nothings put me off. But it did feel a bit ‘signposted’ some of the bits. 4 months ago

john_swaleBirthday time

Happy birthday – hope you didn’t get too drunk but if you did good work.
Have a great day and lots of presents and a big cake and well yea you better have kept the sombrero :D 4 months ago

john_swalewhen no one says anything it means they hate it

Earlier on I cried a little (don’t tell anyone) thinking about how I don’t have a girlfriend and would just like a girl friend even. I was thinking about how much I miss having a hug and all. Doubly sadly T is still in my mind. Each time I see gifts or stuff now its ‘oh I’d get that for T…wait I can’t and theres no one else to get it for’
Also did some revision for most of the day not too sure how much of it went in. I need to work on my F5 study as thats an earlier exam but F4 feels like a weaker subject for me. So I’ll either do a question later or tomorrow.
But more revision tomorrow.
Borgen is on!
My room is a state as well.
Work is still iffy in my view. Earlier on I cried a little (don’t tell anyone) thinking about how I don’t have a girlfriend and would just like a girl friend even. I was thinking about how much I miss having a hug and all.
Also did some revision for most of the day not too sure how much of it went in. I need to work on my F5 study as thats an earlier exam but F4 feels like a weaker subject for me. So I’ll either do a question later or tomorrow.
But more revision tomorrow.
Borgen is on!
My room is a state as well.
Work is still iffy in my view.
getting complimented for doing something that should be done anyway and is what the guys before was doing was dumb. Lots of stuff to do and change but no time (which is my fault) to do any of it. 5 months ago

john_swalespilt porridge

Have you ever thought about making a kusudama or an intersecting star like qrstuvwxyz?
They do take a fair bit of time to do but they look good when its all done and dusted :) 5 months ago

john_swaleuppers downers

Not really.
Right now I need to decide to stick with a role I’m not enjoying but I want to get right. And not let people down.
Or do another role which is probably just going to be more boring stuff.

Or in theory leave and get a new job doing the same or something different.
All very boring. 5 months ago

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