Recent entries from marzipan729
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I realised at some point that my unhappiness was about myself, and that focusing on the breakup thing was more of an excuse, a distraction.. 2 weeks ago

marzipan729 2 years ago


I can relate to this – whenever I’m going through depression, I am snappy and irritable to my family who I live at home with. Every little thing will annoy me but I think maybe it’s those closest to us that end up on the receiving end in most cases. It makes me feel really guilty! I only recently discovered that irritability is a common symptom of depression so know that you’re not alone. It’s hard to be around people when feeling like this! So my advice is find out what works for you, maybe getting out and doing something or if curling up with a book or movie to wind down is your thing – whatever you find makes you feel better :) 2 weeks ago

marzipan729 3 months ago

marzipan729Digestion/anxiety issues

I have definitely found a link between digestion/diet and anxiety, or anxiety-like symptoms. A few years ago I realised my heart rate would go up when I ate spaghetti bol, so then I’d feel panicky.I don’t know whether it is the tomatoes or onions. I still eat it and other such foods that I know trigger it (also Mayonnaise is a trigger for me) It doesn’t happen straight away, sometimes it’s 3 or 4 hours after I’ve eaten. It’s strange, when I am actually anxious, I find it affects my stomach, and then other times when I have an upset stomach, it affects my mind(anxiety)! so it’s like a circle! 17 months ago

marzipan729 18 months ago


I was intending on going a whole 24 hours without Facebook, but my friend messaged me on there, so I ended up staying logged on to fb for nearly 4 hours – from 1am till 4.45am. On the plus side I didn’t spend any of my day time on FB or even the computer, up to that point. I felt better for it. I suppose even if I log in once every night for a few minutes, overall I would be cutting down a lot. 19 months ago

marzipan729 20 months ago

marzipan729A question

Currently my routine consists of: 20 months ago


Thank you for your reply, it’s comforting to read someone else knows how it feels, but sad for the same reason. I hope you feel better since you wrote this post or found some relief from it. It was a few days after I wrote this that my mood lifted slightly, enough to remind myself that the low points don’t last. Currently I experience more low than highs (though not really ‘high’ ha, more neutral, which I prefer really) do you have someone close, a friend or family member that you can talk to? 20 months ago

marzipan729Self hate

Here I am again, in this black hole. I’ve been feeling down for the last..4 weeks? Not constantly – I’ve probably had moments where I feel ok. But overall. I know as always, it doesn’t last, but I just wish I didn’t have these low moments at all.
Sometimes my low moments are worse than others, and I feel like this spell in particular is a bad one. I’ve developed a..let’s call it a habit – of mentally beating myself up whenever I do/say something stupid, or when I snap at someone or lose my patience, I feel guilty, I imagine going up to myself and beating ‘me’ up. Slapping, punching. And the ‘bully’ me saying I deserve this for being stupid, pathetic, a or a bitch, whatever..and I also feel like everyone around me thinks the same about me. (that I’m stupid etc) I’m not even sure how long I’ve been doing this ‘mental bully’ thing for, I think I’ve done it here and there over the years. But the last few weeks, it’s been a daily occurrence for me, and I thought that’s probably not healthy to think like this??! I googled ‘self hate’ and that was actually one of the symptoms that showed, that people imagine beating themselves up. So now I’m working on stopping this and obviously the self hate thing too. I was thinking the other day, how I can’t think of anyone that I truly HATE..except for myself. I feel ashamed that I hate myself so much, for no reason. Why can’t I just be relatively normal and have a healthy self esteem? I have a loving family, and I feel like I dont’ deserve them really. I feel like I’m just a burden, especially on my mum, she puts up with so much from me! whether it’s my health anxieties, general moodiness. I haven’t even told her, or anyone, what has been going through my mind the last few weeks. I really want to try working through it on my least try. I do think that this extreme self hate thing of the past few weeks is merely a habit i’ve got myself into, so whenever I do something bad and I start to get that thought again..I will make a conscious effort to stop it from happening.
I don’t know if I can working on loving myself right now, just to like myself, will be a big step forward for me.

When I do think about talking out my problems, or even just typing them up here where other people can read it, I tell myself I’m attention seeking.. :( so I keep it all inside. Ugh.

Here’s hoping I’ll be reading back on this in a week or so and thinking I’m glad I don’t feel that bad anymore. Everytime I feel better I read back on these and feel so glad I’m through it…
For the time being. 21 months ago

marzipan729did you trim your hair yourself?

If so, have you any tips? :) mine is really annoying me atm haha, it looks pretty scraggly that I’m considering going short! However, I will wait till I’ve had the dead ends off to see how it looks. There is a hairdresser whom I ‘trust’ to cut my hair but she is quite expensive, plus I’m not a fan of going the hairdressers in general…always find it awkward, damn social anxiety! 21 months ago

marzipan72917 July

12 lunges
12 squats with 3lb weights 21 months ago

marzipan729150 pushups (30 seconds between each)

45, 20, 12, 12, 10, 10, 10, 10, 9, 12 21 months ago

marzipan72915 July

3 sets of 12 lunges
3 sets of 12 squats with 4lb weights.
Each held for 10 seconds, last 2 held for 20 21 months ago

marzipan729150 pushups(30 sec break between each)

41, 15, 10, 12, 14, 12, 11, 12, 11, 12 21 months ago

marzipan72913 July

3 sets of 12 squats and 3 sets of 12 lunges. Held for 10 seconds each. Last 2 held for 30 seconds on each. 21 months ago

marzipan729163 (30 sec rest between each pushup)

50, 18, 17, 10, 10, 13, 12, 10, 12, 11 21 months ago


How lucky for you to have such a friend :) hopefully you will keep in touch, even if he moves far away. 21 months ago

marzipan72911 July

3 sets of 12 squats
3 sets of 12 lunges

For both, I hold each for 10 seconds and the last 2 reps are 20 seconds each. 21 months ago

marzipan729146 pushups (30 sec rest between each set)

40, 12, 12, 12, 12, 12, 12, 10, 12, 12 21 months ago

marzipan729183 pushups

I’ve been slacking on my exercise routine for the last 2 weeks, due to a combo of being unwell and lack of motivation. Still not feeling great but I pushed myself to do my usual 10 set of pushups. I’m down by about 60 pushups already! However I will add I did these at 1am and having had 3 hours sleep this morning… here are my results.

45,21,15,15,12,15,12,14,19,15 – 183 pushups. 22 months ago

marzipan729I have this problem, too!

I’m always late for everything :-s. 23 months ago


12 squats held for 10 seconds
12 lunges with 4lb weights held for 10 seconds 23 months ago


I have decided to make a slight adjustment. I’ve incorporated static exercising onto my workout. For pushups, starting position, I hold for 3 then come down to the floor slowly for 10 seconds, when at floor I hold for 3, and come back up in 10 and hold for 3 seconds at top position. I managed about 3 before my arms got so fatigued I couldn’t lift back up. I was going to just leave it at that, but even though the exercise fatigued my arms, I missed the raised heartbeat and breathlessness that I get from pushups! So I did still do those, but instead of my usual 30-40 second rest in between sets, I cut it to 10-20…it made a BIG difference!
Here are my results:

Reg. Pushups (with 10-20 seconds rest in between each set)

50, 12, 10, 10,10, 7,5, 5,5,6) 120

Static pushups (3-10-3-10-3) 4

I will try static exercises for a few weeks, and see how I benefit. 23 months ago

marzipan72913th May

Squats – 12, 15, 18
Lunges – 12, 15, 18 23 months ago

marzipan729240 pushups

50, 30, 20, 18, 20, 20, 20, 18, 16, 18, 10 23 months ago

marzipan72910 May

2×10 + 12 lunges
3 sets of 10 squats with 4lb weights 23 months ago

marzipan729243 pushups

42,40, 22, 20, 18, 20, 20, 21, 17, 23 23 months ago

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