nicolasc - spring has sprung!

my male coworker is a hooper! We are going to hoop together soon, sounds like he knows lots of tricks he’ll teach me.

Squee! 4 weeks ago

your examples and mine are different. Just because there are examples of people taking claims of hate or injustice to ridiculous extremes, it does not mean that every claim of hate or injustice is ridiculous.

I am now tired of this debate, tired of tapping on my phone, and late for work. Meow. 4 weeks ago

I disagree that your example and mine are alike.Context has to be considered, and in this context, in this climate, with this type of event, it is a loaded factoid. It actually wasn’t even a fact. Therefore, it is not a simple physical description. 4 weeks ago

How does a clean, orderly space make you feel, v.s. a dirty space? Being a paisley-brained person, I both relish a clean, orderly space and yet find it hard to maintain one. This causes me internal conflict.

How do you feel visiting someone whose home is very dirty? Cluttery is OK. Normal “holy heck I’ve been busy” kind of dirty is OK. Cat poop all over the carpet, dirty dishes piled high, stacks of weeks old newspapers…I would probably not feel comfortable.

How would you feel if your hotel room was kind of dirty when you checked in? I would FREAK. I am kind of a germophobe. OK, more than kind of a germophobe.

If you went to someone’s office, and it was dirty? Depends on what you mean. Papers everywhere? Or do they poop in the wastebasket?

If a public space, like a bus terminal or school is dirty? Same as hotel response.

If you lived at home with a serious illness, and couldn’t clean your home? I would have to hire someone – it would make me feel more ill if my house was dirty.

Do you have any thoughts or experiences relating to clean/dirty? I wasn’t always a germophobe. I became one after I became a parent and after some experiences with finding blobs of earwax and such on the hotel sheets when I checked in. Regarding clutter, I am a bit of a clutterbug, even though I find it hard to feel peaceful in clutter. Whenever I say my house is dirty, though, TripleB says I don’t know what dirty is.

What conclusions might you come to about a person, based on the level of cleanliness/order in their home? It would depend on the kind of cleanliness or clutter. There is neatness or dirtiness and then there is neatness or dirtiness that indicates a degree of psychopathology.

What conclusions might you come to about a city, or a business, based on the level of cleanliness/order? Mostly I like cleanliness and order, but not too much or I would think I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone.

How do you feel about janitors/hotel workers/health care workers/professional cleaners and other people who clean for a living? Have you ever done any of these jobs for a living? What was it like? How did it make you feel about yourself? 1. They are underappreciated. 2. Yes. 3. It was fine. I like cleaning other people’s space and making it nice for them, more than I enjoy cleaning my own space actually. 4. I felt fine about it, though other people wrinkled their noses at me for doing it. I did it on my own (not for a hotel or service), so I probably also got paid more per hour than if I was employed by someone else.4 weeks ago

Big life upheavals SUCK, especially when you’re already dealing with other major stuff.

Sometimes big horrible changes surprise us by allowing something better to happen on the other side of it. I truly hope that’s what happens for you in this one! 4 weeks ago

and still live together. But yeah, maybe spacey from her recent busy period at work. Just don’t know why she responded the way she did to TripleB. You’re right, I shouldn’t take it personally. And I have three of my very dear friends, plus a recently close friend, plus one friend’s awesome husband and daughter (who are driving an hour with her to come), plus my man, plus (I hope) my son coming, so I should focus on that. I am very lucky that I have such very good friends in my life. 4 weeks ago

1. ah-pree-shee-ate

2. pete-za

3. “off” 4 weeks ago

I was shocked at how big wisdom teeth actually are. How they managed to stay in my head without piercing my brain all those years I’ll never know.

Anyway, having them removed was uneventful. The doctor and nurse seemed weird after the surgery, during which I was under complete anesthesia. I thought either they gave me too much and I almost died, so they were acting guilty; I said weird stuff under anesthesia and they were acting freaked out; or, they had fooled around in the room while I was unconscious, so again, they were acting guilty. 4 weeks ago

Do you wear make up? Sheer tinted foundation with sunscreen, little eyeliner, mascara, lip balm. Pretty much daily, but I am not mortified to leave the house without it. I have to have sheer everything, because a) I have skintone that is difficult to match and sheer looks less weird, b) I always feel freakish when I wear any more than I already do, and c) I don’t like the feel or look of anything thick and heavy on my skin.

Any facial piercings, and I said facial though you’re welcome to provide pics…? Nope.4 weeks ago

Too funny! 4 weeks ago

I had never heard that one! X-)

_{PS: Thanks for the cheerbomb!}4 weeks ago

an immediate personal threat. I am talking about perpetuating a negative culture. One which creates an environment where that type of personal threat is more likely to occur, by the way, and to be seen as somehow justified. And that is the true relevance of the “dark-skinned” reference.

_{If we are making connections to anti-Semites, you can look to the pogroms that have happened to Jews throughout history. And these occurred in an environment where people were making references to them eating babies and killing Jesus. How else do you stir up the townspeople so as to run the common enemy out on a rail?}4 weeks ago

Hurt by the unresponsiveness of someone I considered a friend. Someone I let cry on my couch while I poured Scotch and served cookies and support during a recent rough patch in her relationship. I sent her an invite to an event through FB (normally I wouldn’t, but that’s where the link was to the event page) and told her I was only inviting a few very close local friends. No reply. About two weeks later I texted her and her partner (who was my friend first, before her), saying hi, hope all is well, haven’t seen you in a while. He responded and we texted back and forth a bit about zombies and such. She didn’t reply.

TripleB called me today, and in the middle of our conversation he asked, “So are you in a good mood?” I said yes. He said, “Well, I knew you hadn’t heard from __, so I texted to ask if she was coming to the thing. She said no, she was going to (be doing something else).” He said he almost didn’t tell me, but that he was kind of mad/irritated about it.

So the rational grown up in me knows that people make other plans, and the invite was sent through FB after all, and maybe she was very busy and couldn’t reply to my text. But there is another part of me that feels like…really? Not only could you not take 30 seconds to respond, but you made other plans that aren’t even that major?

I don’t know why I’m feeling so sensitive and bad and depressed about this. I think part of it is that her partner is one of the guys I considered to be my martial arts brothers, and I am already feeling the loss of that group since I don’t do martial arts anymore. So this does feel like, maybe that friendship is over, even if I’m not ready for it to be. 4 weeks ago

but I also don’t think this falls in the realm of political correctness, let alone hysterical political correctness. And a faux pas is a one-time slip, not something that is repeated over and over, which these reports were. The information did not come from the police, because the police denied that they had anyone in custody, and furthermore said they never said they had someone in custody.

There was no relevance to the fact that the (imaginary) suspect had dark skin. What is the relevance? What does his dark skin have to contribute to his “suspiciousness?” And what is meant by “dark?” Was the intention to imply that he is Hawaiian? I don’t think so. I think it was a direct play into the idea that this was Muslim terrorists. Who knows? It might be Muslim terrorists. It might be white supremacists or Christian extremists or someone who didn’t qualify for the marathon and has a grudge. Who knows? But saying it was a “dark skinned male” with no other qualifying information is irresponsible and sloppy journalism at the best, playing into racial/ethnic fear and stereotypes (and possibly putting people with “dark skin” in danger) at worst.

_{After 9/11, a Sikh man at my uncle’s workplace was cornered in an elevator by a group of men, knocked down, and kicked and stomped on because they thought the Sikh man was Muslim. My lighter-skinned uncle, by the way, who was not targeted, is Muslim.}

I do know the difference between political correctness and speaking out against real instances of racial stereotyping or prejudice. Do you? 4 weeks ago

Here’s my theme for the thread…

Dropkick Me Jesus by Bobby Bare
and
Jesus Loves Me – But He Can’t Stand You by the Austin Lounge Lizards (wish I could have found a better quality recording of it!) 4 weeks ago

What relevance is someone’s SKIN COLOR to ANYTHING when you are reporting about a suspect being in custody for a crime? And you should be particularly embarrassed when no one has in fact been arrested!

The news reports today about a “dark skinned male” being arrested for the Boston attack make me completely ill. Dark skinned, was he? That’s it? No height description, weight description, description of facial features or distinctive markings? No odd behavior that would make him actually suspect? We are just supposed to hear “dark skinned male” and nod knowingly, as if we knew all along it was one of them?

Excuse me for cursing, but people are fucking morons. This is 2013, people. Pull your head out of last century, for fuck’s sake. 4 weeks ago

Though I have met friends online, too – through 43T! 4 weeks ago

it’s good news, creedo! 4 weeks ago

I’ve posted here before that that is how TripleB and I met, and also how Mr. Yayo and I met. Those were positive experiences. I was with Mr. Yayo almost a year and I’ve been with TripleB
5 1/2 years.

I communicated with a few other guys, only three of whom led to an actual meeting. One was a guy that I had tons of chemistry with through email and on the phone, but was strongly NOT attracted to in person. It didn’t help that he told me all THREE of his wives had been addicts. Another one was Chuvstvenii Diabl (my nickname for him), a Russian guy who I talked on the phone with for hours, and had HOT chemistry with when we finally met for drinks, but I started to suspect he was not actually single, so I cut things off. And Mr. Nice Guy, who I only went out for coffee with because it seemed good on paper. And that was it. Good on paper.

In between those were a few creepy guys, who started off nice, but then somehow after a few fun message exchanges they figured it was appropriate to introduce the subject of spanking or naked Twister. Ummmmm, no.

So, about the same odds as people you meet offline, in my opinion.

Never crashed anything hoping to score. Yes, I hate ads that lie. Especially the ones about products that will make your shower look like new. Trust me, nothing makes 30 year old fiberglass look like new. :-/

I don’t eat steak. But if you have those little things you stick into the sides of corn cobs when you eat them, I’d love a set! 4 weeks ago

Ran 1/2 mile.
Stopped to talk about some coaching tips.
Ran 1/4 mile.
Did 100 meter splits for 1/4 mile.
Walked 1/2 mile.

1 1/2 miles total 4 weeks ago

Would that be: Write with invisible ink? 4 weeks ago

windy here, too! 4 weeks ago

surprised by his brains, in a way. All that other stuff made me think he might be a bit shallow, but he doesn’t seem to be. 4 weeks ago

I must be out of that loop. I never see him in the media. Are you in the U.S. or the U.K.? 4 weeks ago

My browser won’t play videos. I have to open this again soon through another browser. :-( 1 month ago

make breakfast for my boy and my man,
drink coffee at a relaxed pace,
go to church,
and/or
spend time outside (double points for lying in my hammock)

Any combination of the above. 1 month ago

as of right now. I know they are both a bit quirky, but I read some quotes from them recently that I really liked and it made me think that they are interesting thinkers. Russell Brand is very opposite of me, so it would be interesting to get some insights from his oppositeness. And Owen Wilson has some similarities to me in how he sees things, so it would be interesting to talk to someone who had some sameness.

That’s all I can think of right now. 1 month ago

Max! Glad to see you back! 1 month ago

_{Me lurrrrves me some goat’s milk and blue cheeses…!}1 month ago

RB! I hope so, too. :-) 1 month ago