Stumbling thru life from a childhood lacking direction or common sense discussion from any nearby adult, into flailing thru young adulthood, able to just barely grasp a clue abt how to get an education to take me in a general direction I might enjoy & life with. Plowing thru day to day requirements of work, sleep, work, sleep, build a foundation of a life, get a place to live, build up friendships, work, sleep, work, sleep, hit and miss with the opposite sex, one or two ‘real’ relationships, work, sleep, work, sleep, family shit & good stuff, work, sleep, recognize & fight off inner demons, have my heart ripped right the fuck out of my body suddenly and permanently just weeks away from joining up with a wife & child, work, fuckin work, work more, sleep when possible, work.
So, years go by. MIddle age approaches. Lessons learned, view expands of self & others, & realizations of more lessons needed to learn. Wisdom acquired thru experience, reflection on experience, work, sleep, work, sleep…
Does it all just lead to getting even older, a gradual shift from having to work to retiring & being able to have more choice of daily activities, work or interests, a different phase of life, not being ‘out there’ in the mad rush rat race, but having, finally, the experience & wisdom you sure as hell could have used back when you were in the middle of all that & having to make important decisions amid chaos.
So what the hell good is the wisdom thus acquired? In old age, most of it applies to past life stages, not the here & now of the older years. Younger people don’t want to hear it – and they probably shouldn’t bother since your experience & what you gained from it was created inside you, your unique needs, & who can say if it’d do anyone else any good anyway. As the body wears down & the pace of life must be slowed, no matter how active the brain still is, a phase of reflective pondering seems to be what people tell me sets in in one’s life.
More learning from the past? More details on self-awareness, more focus & ability to work on one’s fears, weaknesses, strengths, inner snags? WHAT GOOD WILL IT DO THEN? What’s the friggin’ point then?
Maybe it’s because I haven’t reached that reflective, wise, pondering thought stage of life, but I’m not sure what good it does. Okay, if a soul passes thru this life & moves on, I guess a process of facing oneself, dealing w/the inner bullshit, coming to some sort of inner peace before moving thru the death portal into the next stage – yeah, that’d make sense. And that’d provide a good reason for having these bodies slow down & wear out, forcing us to stop our manic activities & stop & think abt things.
Otherwise, there just ain’t no point to nothin’ 11 months ago