nice for me
well, find a cheap place to rent for now till i find the home of my dreams,
find a good church…
eat more raw…
draw,
get my bills organized, paid…
get a po box…
take the kids to horse riding lessons and me too?
do more swimming and sunning…
stop pursuing the guy… its getting humiliating/!? 22 months ago
Dear God,
Please help me get everthing ready for pick up by movers this friday 23 months ago
1. What did I learn last week? That I thought he was my love and I think I am not. I think he likes to talk to me. and now I think he is messing with my mind, my reactions. I dont enjoy it as much.
2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week? packing, working, getting kids to Drs and me.
3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why? memorable when I was verbally lectured and am acting like it was helpful. What a liar I am.
4 the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week? cut back on thinking of someone who I am in love with . Change it to like or fondness.
5. What can I do right now to make the week less stressful? pack more. call the hauler
6. What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week?
My image. I feel old, 51 is old. I want to be liked by my friends and I think I look bad and ugly and they dont enjoy seeing my down face.
Cannot help it.
Turn off the webcam.
7. What was last week’s biggest time sink? talking too much on skype.
8. Am I carrying any excess baggage into the week that can be dropped?well, just that I rate myself according to how much this man seems to like me.
I think he has lost a lot of interest and gained a lot of arrogance due to me being so caring and loving.
9. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done? well, I need to move and pack and throw stuff out, and work. Quit thinking someone is in love with me.
Just quit ,
10. What opportunities are still on the table? to meet other guys!
11. Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to? anyone other than my obsession.
12. Is there anyone that deserves a big thank you? my self?anyone but My obsession!
13. How can I help someone else this coming week? anyone but my obsession!
14. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years? move, stay healthy, teach the kids good things.. meet my love.
15. Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals? moving, deciding to change curriculum… and realizing I dont have a chance with M. Face it. I am old , too old!
16. What’s the next step for each goal? facing facts with my move, the kids schooling choices for their books and start taking stock of what I want and have to offer a love.
This LDR is killing me.
.17. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? switching up my talking time with my so called LDR.
He is not available , is too faraway and probably still just thinks I am a good friend.
I had my chance and blew it.
18. What are my fears? that I will miss him too much and not fully understand his true feelings and blow it again.
Fearful that I will never be as happy as I have when connected to him.
Fearful that I will regret giving up on him.. fearful also that I will waste another yr, already been 3…
with feelings for him that are too onesided.
I do more writing and more devotion personally.
He is more general and universal( can get boring) but he is someone to talk to, another adult, and he knows me.
He is funny lots of the time…
but he also talks more than me, does not think I am that funny and says I need to love myself.
bah, I thought I already did.
Why is he always right?
“please forgive me, thank you, i love you and I am sorry” today and the rest of the week.
19. What am I most grateful for? 23 months ago
nice for me?
Eating right, hiring a maid for cleaning since I am moving in a few wks. The landlord wants to start showing the place, oh joy.
Nice for me?
I dont know what else, its early in the morning…
maybe I ought to watch more movies… go on more nice walks…
buy some makeup…
get skinnier, ( to a Size 8) and get some really pretty dresses, compliment myself, dream of my future nice life… 2 years ago
Well, I am down to a size 10. I had to get rid of my size 12 clothes and among them were a few things that even went up to a size 18 when I was at my highest weight.
Wow, amazing. 2 years ago
thank you God for a good sleep
thank you for love
thank you for energy
music,
and help you send me. 2 years ago
1. What did I learn last week? That I think I still do too much for people… and should do more for myself, like a make over.
2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week? being more open with someone I love.
3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why? extending my family relationships
4 the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week? start packing boxes for the move
5. What can I do right now to make the week less stressful? dont do anything extra just because I Think I am supposed to. Be more in work and receiving mode, stop trying so hard.
6. What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week? Trying too hard.
7. What was last week’s biggest time sink? nothing, living here is a time sink though.
8. Am I carrying any excess baggage into the week that can be dropped? well, someone made me cry and I am not over that. So cant help it.
9. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done? packing,
mammogram, eye check
10. What opportunities are still on the table? packing, throwing stuff out, cutting back on doing things for people… hire help for packing and cleaning,
11. Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to? not really
12. Is there anyone that deserves a big thank you? my self?
13. How can I help someone else this coming week? by being happy I help my kids and my love
14. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years? to work at my best, to look and feel my best, to find a home for me and the kids and my love
15. Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals? bringing my love more to my heart.
16. What’s the next step for each goal? that my love and me talk of actually spending time in person after I move… that we find even more ways to share and stay in touch, that I not confide in critics.
.17. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? getting Sat and Sunday over with but maybe enjoying them…
18. What are my fears? that someone make me feel bad again and that I felt bad yesterday cuz of him… and have to deal with that again sat and sun.? how to change that? God help me please. I think that person ought to apologize and rethink his attitude to me… but… I am not going to hold my breath at all. Instead I am going to forgive him by saying
“please forgive me, thank you, i love you and I am sorry” today and the rest of the week.
19. What am I most grateful for? 2 years ago
That my son is graduating and has a great job.
that i have a good friend
that I have a decent job.
That I will get over hurt feelings and be able to understand what happened.
That I will be through with this place very soon 2 years ago
