savouring the simple things

Recent entries from Saraband
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The open house for my flat was this Saturday just gone. The day before the agent told me that it was practically sold already: a done deal in fact. Then he quickly retracted of course. But the seed was sown. It made the news – when I finally got some news – that the open house was something of a disaster that little bit harder to take.

The agents now use words like ‘gutted’ and ‘so disappointed’ and ‘we can’t understand it; we think it’s such a lovely flat’. They also use the phrase ‘it’s a real seller’s market right now’. That last one makes the debacle of Saturday just that little bit harder still.

So: a bitter pill needed swallowing and I’ve swallowed it. No point dwelling on their mistakes (which they’ve admitted to) and no point dwelling on circumstances which genuinely weren’t within their control. Time to move on.

I always had my doubts about the spiel they gave me initially; I’ve always had my doubts about the flat’s saleability. It is a lovely flat, but it has it’s downsides and they are significant enough to make purchasers pause. Nevertheless, it most certainly is a seller’s market so if it can’t sell now, well… I won’t go there because it will sell: it’s simply a matter of being realistic and getting things right with the marketing and the valuation.

The agents seem happy now to bend over backwards to listen and accept what I have to say. They are rewriting the particulars; I have set the price at a more realistic level; the property will be re-launched in a different marketing format.

They have also given me first refusal on a property yet to come to the market, which could still mean the overall situation (selling/buying) works out well.

There’s still a lot of hurdles to jump but I actually feel better at this stage in the journey than I felt at the start. At the beginning I felt powerless and unheard. I was fearful and doubted what was being said to me, yet felt obligated to tag along. These past few weeks have been very stressful as a result: trusting the ‘experts’ against trusting my instincts. I wanted to believe them but try as I might, I really couldn’t. Now I feel I’m on more solid ground. It’s still scary; there are no guarantees however strong the market might be. But I’m standing strong and I feel more positive now than ever. We shall see what comes next :) 3 weeks ago

SarabandTuesday 25th March

Tuesday. Much going on at work, much going on elsewhere. Surety in my heart :)

Today I am thankful for:

  • a deep, refreshing sleep that left me wakeful and alert by 5 a.m. and able to work intensively on proposals for moving things forward
  • rain rather than further frosts; I’m sure the tender young buds appreciated it too. Although the day was cold, damp and dreary the long term impact will be much less
  • feeling strong and sure in the face of adversity
  • visualizing – no, truly feeling – success, deep within. I know things will work out right in the end :)
  • B’s attempts to support me. He doesn’t always get it right. It doesn’t mean that I’m any less grateful 3 weeks ago


... you’re starting to feel better now, Chester, and that sleep worked some magic :) 3 weeks ago

SarabandThank you :)

It did feel good :) 3 weeks ago

SarabandGood luck Tristan

I know how hard it is to do this; I’m still working on it too. But so worthwhile :) 3 weeks ago

SarabandI would love...

.. to hear more about this. What is a LifeLine session?

:) 3 weeks ago

SarabandMonday 24th March

Monday. Feels like a full week was squeezed into this one day.

Today I am thankful:

  • for this glorious spring morning. Sunshine! But also frost! We’ve had hardly any hoar frosts this winter. Beautiful though it is, what might this do to the tender buds I was admiring on the lilac yesterday?
  • that the major water leak at work was easily fixed and didn’t cause any damage; that everyone pitched in willingly with a smile, a mop and a bucket!
  • for an open and honest chat with an estate agent
    once I finally got to speak to him ;)
  • for a good meeting with the book club ladies at which we revisited the format of the club; for easy, open and fruitful discussion
  • for self-reliance, focus and courage :) 3 weeks ago

SarabandHappy Birthday!

Belated Birthday wishes, Grandmonster. Sounds like you had a lovely day!

:) 3 weeks ago


Ditto wundergrl’s words. What a great thing to happen, especially on what was a difficult day for you. 3 weeks ago

SarabandB treated me to ...

.. lunch on Sunday. It may be as long as a year since we had lunch out. We had a lovely day. It proved to be a great opportunity for a good discussion about future plans and possibilities :)

I’ve also got several more trips and visits planned which he was very happy with. Nice things to look forward to :)3 weeks ago

SarabandSunday 23rd March

Sunday. Sunny spring Sunday

Today I am thankful for:

  • early morning time alone, quiet and peaceful :)
  • lunch out – lovely
  • a good talk
  • quiet assertiveness with a smile
  • rhubarb+chia+coconut milk mmmmmmmmmmm Definitely to be repeated 3 weeks ago

SarabandThe last evening ...

... with Mr S for a while :-o 3 weeks ago

SarabandTalking with Dad this week...

... he mentioned that he’d taken Mum out for lunch. It was the 60th anniversary of the day they met :)

Absolutely nothing to do with supporting them but so lovely :)3 weeks ago

SarabandSaturday 22nd March

Saturday. Open day at the flat

Today I am thankful for:

  • a deeply refreshing night’s sleep; waking very early alert, calm and happy
  • the beauty and quiet of a perfect spring morning
  • welcoming back my old self – even if it’s a temporary visit :)
  • a crazy, manic day at work; hard work but great camaraderie and teamwork. And remarkably everything balanced at the end of the day
  • a cheesy film, 2 very naughty hot cross buns and wine – rather more than I’d intended! 3 weeks ago

SarabandFriday 21st March

Friday. Today is a fragile day. The weather is calmer though the wind still whipped my breath away when I ventured outside and I still shied away from walking in it. I shall be gentle with myself today and let the day unfold as it will…:)

Today I am thankful for:

  • a strange but refreshing night’s sleep: fractured yet very deep – almost drug-induced
  • cheer bombs galore – thank you teoae!
  • processing my emotions through writing
  • encouraging news on tomorrow’s open day and at last a successful resolution to the washing machine saga
  • the kindest, most thoughtful email from a friend

Edit: and as it unfolded I felt my strength and equilibrium steadily restored :)3 weeks ago

SarabandMr Tiki...

.. is a lucky man :) 3 weeks ago


He was clearly someone very special.

Thinking of you, dear FGR

xx 3 weeks ago

SarabandSpring Equinox

Thank you for this :)

At the exact time of the Spring Equinox yesterday the sky was dark, the rain was lashing the windows and the wind was screeching around the chimney pot. This equinox for me was dark and elemental, intense and visceral.

This morning has dawned bright and clear. In this new spring light the message in your words brings me joy, warmth and clarity :)

x 3 weeks ago

SarabandThank you, FGR


xx 3 weeks ago

SarabandThank you :)

((((hugs)))) 3 weeks ago

SarabandAnd I read it!

I can’t work out how to respond on the blog but I read the story and found it beautiful. A ray of sunshine and light on an otherwise dark and brooding day.

I’m happy that you posted it, Tristan, and hope you decide to post more :) 3 weeks ago

SarabandThursday 20th March

Thursday. This has been an eerily difficult day; a day of heightened emotion and physical weakness. Outside, when I awoke, the sky was battleship grey and the wind ominous and howling and it made me shiver inwardly though I brushed it aside. The forecast was for sunshine – with moderate winds and mild temperatures: when I ventured outside I was assaulted by the wind; taken aback by its ferocity and by the cold. Washing blew off the line; the washing basket itself tumbled away as soon as my back was turned. This wind snatched and snared and it frightened me. But why? I passed this day feeling dizzy, jittery, weak and uncertain. But why? I felt confused: the world seemed not as it should be. I found myself frightened of making phone calls; wary of undertaking everyday tasks. And still outside the weather raged and continued to belie the forecast. I seemed encased in a private maelstrom – encased by the weather, and isolated. My thoughts were few. I can’t recall having a day like this before. I am pleased this day is over. And I am pleased to be able to step back from it and be thankful :)

On this strange, unsettling and peculiar day I am thankful:

  • for sufficient insight to let the emotions be
  • for the power of good literature (although this particular book is almost certainly a factor in my vulnerable, heightened state)
  • that the black cohosh seems to be working (although may equally be a factor in my dizzy, jittery state)
  • for not sending a final text regarding a problem with the tenants which I accepted was shot through with the impact of this day and thus could achieve nothing positive and may inflame an already difficult situation
  • for B’s groundedness and practical sympathy

I am grateful :)

I described yesterday as a gift of a day: easy enough to accept and acknowledge because it was such a good day. I am mindful that today – as with every day – is also a gift. Thus one brought the gift of lightness and gaiety; the other the gift of darkness and doubt. I cannot yet see where today’s gifts fit; I can’t see the lessons there are to be learned, but I can accept this gift of experience and learn to leave it at that. Perhaps on this day there are no whys: perhaps this day -and the experiences it carried with it – are simply what they are. And that must be enough :)3 weeks ago


Day 43 – March 13 – Uniqueness
From Season for Peace & Non-violence

You are an individualized, authentic, perfect expression of LIFE. There is absolutely nobody who is like you for your pattern is unique. Ralph Waldo Emerson said that “imitation is suicide” because you are denying the very nature of who you are.

First, love and appreciate your uniqueness. Look in the mirror and recognize your Fabulousness! Then, look at the world with the same, soft, loving eyes and appreciate the unique ways that people show up. Revel in wonder and awe at each person. Each one of us is looking for love and approval yet that is an inside-out job as we recognize that the Light that shines is from within and that our unique body, personality and even prickly particularities are simply our way of being in this world.

When we value ourselves and value each other, the world does shine brighter.

Today, smile with your heart and celebrate the uniqueness of each person you meet. Look at the creativity and variety of life. Give thanks for such a rich world that we live in and how blessed we are to have eyes that see such beauty. Let’s dance in delight of our Uniqueness.

Be the Peace! 4 weeks ago

SarabandWednesday 19th March

Wednesday. A gift of a day :)

Today I am thankful:

  • for a night not perfect but manageable, and for waking slowly but refreshed as the grey dawn stepped aside for spring brightness
  • for a warm message following a tough conversation yesterday
  • for P on her birthday lunch: such a good friend, so inspirational, stimulating and always supportive
  • for choosing not to break the spell and spending the remainder of the afternoon engrossed in my latest read
  • for R, at this anniversary point on his life journey. I love all my children but his has been the longest and hardest path of the three. He has battled demons that claimed him and broken chains that encased him; climbed treacherous mountains and crawled through blackened valleys beset by self-doubt, self-hatred and an unshakable belief that neither he nor his life had any value or purpose. Today he stands in the sunshine gazing at verdant pastures and distant horizons with clear eyes that look up not down and ahead not behind. Who knows what else life has in store for him, but on this day – Happy, happy birthday, Russ :) 4 weeks ago

SarabandSounds wonderful

Quite an undertaking! Do hope you get in :) 4 weeks ago

SarabandTuesday 18th March

Tuesday. Sunshine after a sleepless night

Today I am thankful for:

  • a good buzzy day at work; feeling fine despite the lack of zzzzz
  • opportunities to be helpful
  • catching up with the walking group
  • actively listening; I hope it helped
  • saying no to the second social engagement of the evening, knowing on this occasion it was a step too far and that my friends would understand
  • the realization of how fortunate I am :) 4 weeks ago

SarabandTai Chi

Which dvd have you settled on? 4 weeks ago

SarabandThis ...

... is perfectly timed. And duly noted. Thanks Rosew!

:) 4 weeks ago

SarabandMonday 17th March

Monday. Last day working with S. I will miss her so much

Today I am thankful for:

  • a bejeweled early morning: the silvery full moon hanging in a cloudless sky and opposite her – a blue-gold dawn
  • realizing this afternoon that I felt “normal”: feeling like myself again. It’s the first time for a while and so much appreciated – for however long it lasts :)
  • the goodwill and helpfulness of the various trades people I spoke with today
  • resolving an unexpected issue with my tenants
  • the fun times I’ve had working with S. Hugs, smiles, a few tears but no goodbyes; we’ll stay in touch :) 4 weeks ago

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