So this has become my primary goal to achieve this year (not only for this year – just to get it into constant practice this year) and so far it is proving to be one of the toughest things I’ve ever done. I am a fat person, I have been fat since I was a kid and a lifetime of bad eating habits is proving hard to break.
As a clinically obese person, my primary goal is to lose weight and get healthier and get fit with exercise and learning to eat well and properly is the way to do that. I have been on a myriad of diets since I was about 8 years old and none of them have ever worked. Why? Because they are restrictive and work on deprivation of things and that never works.
I’m 29 going on 30 and I didn’t think this was going to happen over night but it is truly much much harder than I anticipated. I have signed up to myfitnesspal.com at the recommendation of a friend and it is teaching me a lot. It takes your current weight to calculate how many kilojoules (or calories if that’s what you work with) you need to limit yourself to to lose up to 1kg a week (1kg is the maximum weight it calculates to, aiming for a slow, steady and sustainable loss). So it has a kilojoule intake calculator in which you diarise all you eat in a day.
So far, I have not been within or under my target since I started. Today has been my best day so far and I’m becoming ultimately more aware of what I’m putting in to my body. It is the most excruciating process to actively look at the things I have been eating and realise how bad and empty some things are. Even though I’ve eaten far less crap than I would’ve before, the learning is still curving. Today my aim is to be within my kilojoule limit.
I have tried to stick to the everything-in-moderation rule but here’s the thing: those 2 slices of white toast I loved every morning mean that my stomach will be grumbling before I go to bed because I wasted precious kilojoules on them. So no more white bread. It’s a simple thing, I know, and so many people know it already, but sometimes you have to learn it the hard way I guess. I’m not bashing the moderation rule, because sometimes it’s okay to have those “naughty” things but I’m learning that sometimes doesn’t mean I can have that thing every day. And of course everyone wants different things and nothing should be completely struck off the list – well, maybe some things but those are personal choices that everyone has to make.
So yes, my uphill battle is worth it, I have goals, plans and motivation and I am learning what works and what doesn’t. I felt quite demotivated last night when I looked back at this weeks entries of my food intake and writing this has actually helped me reflect on what I am eating as well as why. So far so good today and I wish the best of luck to anyone who shares this goal and anything similar. 6 months ago
How I did it: Remembering that my tardiness affects others was a good starting point.
The best thing I've done was to start focussing on what time I needed to leave to be where I needed to be on time instead of thinking of the time I needed to be there. Also, allowing myself an extra 20 minutes in case of anything unexpected. Because I live 25 to 30 minutes away from work I started giving myself an hour travel time in case of traffic problems, leaving a few minutes later when unavoidable and it's become nice to have that extra 10 minutes or so to get a coffee or whatever. Read how I did it… 8 months ago
Watching this made me so angry! It was a fantastic movie and I really enjoyed it but Rosemary’s character…once she was certain, she had the evidence, the first thing she did was run to a man she’d met once before and told him everything: everything that would get her chucked in a nut house! And then she ends by just giving in and being the demon-baby’s mother? Geeeeez! 15 months ago
Registered and 3 months in! Baby steps. 15 months ago
I have also come to the vague realisation that sometimes the Time Frames I set myself are unrealistic. So I am also endeavouring to be more realistic about how time and myself both work. 2 years ago
I’m pretty sure I’ve completed this, I am drawing again, quite often. I’ve been using my graphics tablet as well as pencil and paper, doodling, drawing, sketching, as well as just making a mess so I’m going to go ahead and say I have completed this goal, with no intention of stopping! 2 years ago
Today I got up earlier than usual and discovered there was more time in my day and just now I went for a walk, proper exercisey-walk like I should have been doing for the past 3 weeks but was being lazy. So yay! 2 years ago
11 – Waiting for Somebody – Paul Westerberg
Awesome song from the movie “Singles” which was the movie I watched with my dad after we made up from the biggest fight we ever had. We avoided each other for a week when I was in High School. Oddly we kind of made the decision to make up at the same time. This song reminds me of that.
12 – Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Deep Blue Something
This song just won’t leave me alone! It’s been in my repertoire since Grade 8 and somehow, everywhere I go, someone wants to hear it! 2 years ago
I have realised that I am not “oversleeping”. I get an average 8 hours most nights, I just do it a different time to everyone else. I like going to bed at 3am and waking up at 11. I enjoy the night. So there! That is me simply realising that I am not oversleeping, but merely sleeping in a different pattern. So I guess the next goal is to put my sleeping pattern back in sync with the world? 2 years ago
I haven’t actually written the whole book yet. but it’s coming along. It just started coming out and I haven’t stopped writing yet. Huzzah! 2 years ago
Since choosing putting this as one of my goals I have been through MANY other things. I have been a contestant on SA Idols, which prevented me from GETTING a real job for several months. Since then I have started working part time in a DVD rental store, I am gigging again, I am doing a Locum teaching post for 3 weeks and all of this will be followed by my Shiny New Recording Contract with a new independent studio. I think as far as getting a job goes I have fulfilled it. I may not have a health plan but I’ve definitely got stuff to do!!! Yee hah!!! 2 years ago
I haven’t watched this movie yet but I have it now and I’m going to!!! “Why Camille?” I hear you ask. BECAUSE I always wanted to watch the movie that Annie went to watch in “Annie”. Remember that part, where Daddy Warbucks rents out the WHOLE of the Radio City Music Hall and there’s all those strange ushers doing a dance thing when they should be shining their torches so nobody trips? Yes. THAT movie:) 2 years ago
As it turns out, Yamaha had run out of SA500’s and sent me something else instead. So I traded it in for a beautiful Epiphone Casino, the same model as used by Paul McCartney! It is awesome:)
New guitar? Check! 2 years ago
I’m not giving up on this idea, I’m just realising that I have more important things to do. I already have an Honours in Drama and the only reason I want to go study at Yale is because it looked cool in Gilmore Girls. So I am doing a tiny bit of growing up, acknowledging that this (while being an awesome dream) is also a silly dream and I have bigger fish to fry:)
Maybe one day I will get to go to Yale for something, until then, I got shit to do. 2 years ago
I got a R4000 Yamaha voucher so now I am just patiently awaiting the arrival of my beautiful Yamaha SA500!!!
Hooray! 2 years ago
Recently I came home from competing in SA Idols Season 7. I am a plus size woman, I have been plus size all my life. My time in TV land has left me amazed and stunned by how vicious complete strangers can be, not just to me.
People who judge and viciously attack individuals they’ve never met amaze me because of their cowardice and how amazingly unsatisfying their own lives must be. What kind of person sends someone a direct message so that they can insult them directly? Not cool. So yes, I am amazed by the little things. The little things that people do to destroy each other.
I won’t let it distort my world view, I always knew it was out there and it won’t change much in my life but it does make me grateful for the amazing people I know, the ones who would NEVER attack someone they’ve never met. Thank you to all the amazing people, the ones who fight for the rights of those who can’t. The ones who defend those who can’t defend themselves, or don’t even know they need defending.
You are the amazing people who never get the credit you deserve. 2 years ago
I have 5 tracks so far:
1 – Free for the moment – The Martins
played it day after day after I watched Empire Records and fantasised about shaving all my hair off just like Robin Tunney did.
2 – Better Son/Daughter – Rilo Kiley
I kind of decided this was my theme song, it’s good, all about facing the world with a smile even when you feel like shoving your head in a toilet:)
3 – Then She Appeared – XTC
Gilmore Girls, loved this song and searched for ages and ages till I found it:)
4 – Given to Fly – Pearl Jam
I have a thing about Sunrises, I stayed up all night one weekend at the beach with my parents because I didn’t have an alarm clock (and it was before everybody had cell phones, I don’t even think my dad had his first Nokia00000000000001 with the 9 Metre aerial yet). So when dawn finally came I went out to the rocks to enjoy the morning sun…and it was overcast. And the batteries were dying so Eddie Vedder had a particularly deep voice that day:)
5 – Ode to My Family – The Cranberries
My first dance with a boy:) It was std 4, it was our school “disco”/”social” and this boy asked me to dance….after my friends asked him to ask me. So there we go. Not SO special but at the time it meant a lot. 4 years ago