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Since I have interests in psychology,philosophy, working with children and english Im planning to become an elementary school teacher. To become a teacher-for whatever grade you wish to persue specifically, you must have taken some classes in both psychology and philosophy, as well as child development classes that show you how to get along and interact accordingly with your students. Im quite excited with this newfound ambition that I want to persue now. It was ironic because I had taken both psychology and philosophy classes in the past and having this way to combine the two with taking care of children is such an amazing blessing that I have cherished to have found. :) I am working hard toward my goal to become a teacher! 22 months ago

Its been awhile since Ive checked up on 43 things. Since that time I’ve- surprisingly gotten into a relationship and with a pretty awesome and amazing guy who really digs me. :) Im happy and fortunate to have found a person Im compatible with and who I enjoy their company equally as they do mine. He’s adorable and sweet. While, on the other hand, Im blunt and sarcastic. It works and …yup many a time I have wanted to run away or break this relationship we have-just because of the person that I am..The anxiousness with commitment and relationships..etc.. But Ive stuck through it because I Do want this to work and want to get through my fear of commitment. We became official on my birthday and now we are still going strong. Although its a long distance relationship-haha great right? Especially for me the commitment anxious one, but surprisingly that has helped a lot in my case to keep the relationship going on as long as it has. Sometimes you need time alone from the ones you love to contemplate and think-whether it be for a short time to a long while- time is a necessity that cannot be taken lightly dealing with matters of the heart. 22 months ago

sadly I miss my x bf and best friend. I find myself remembering him randomly during my days—even when Im with my hubbie ..and cant help but become depressed just at the thought of him. When we had broken up, I was more in denial than anything.. I partied and tried various other things to get my mind off it. But slowly and surley..when I wasnt living the fast lane, I’d turn on the tv and= there was a reminder of him. A movie he enjoyed. When I surfed the web and got on my chatline, ironically there was an advertisement on my wall that was one of the superheros which he was really into… I couldnt get away from it. It was sad.. now I will randomly piece together events from my life, unconsciously and place them in a way that reminds me of him. Just everything and anything. I randomly find myself crying at the thought of him-what we could have been.. I keep on telling myself that this keeps happening because we just got along so well. We were always joking around…. but in reality, I think I might not want to see the bigger picture that this issue carries. I believe that issue is=== Even though I am with someone now, Im scared of being alone. Now my x and I had always hung out constantly, after school, the days at school when we didnt see each other and so forth. I just miss that companionship we had as friends..not so much the romantic jazz. XD I have my hubbie and Im happy with him. :) I just miss being close to another person-a good friend and buddie of mine to which we’d hang out every other day, and so forth just because we enjoyed the other person’s company. :) :/ I hate admitting anything to myself like this, let alone to anyone else…. This too is hard for me to do. 22 months ago

I love to help people in need. Im happy to know that Im helping others with my advice. :) -Its all about how you look at the situation at hand and the actions you take that pan out the outcome of your trials and tribulations. 22 months ago

All good things take is time and commitment. If you really are dedicated to controlling your addiction, then you will have it controlled eventually because of your determination and your will to not give up. If life were easy, and the best things in life came simply to us without stuggle, we would probably have a boring mudane world. Be happy for the accomplishments you have already made, even though you may see them as small-they are still accomplishments nevertheless and continue to strive for your goal because with determination and will nothing can stop a person from accomplishing their goal. :) 2 years ago

Ive been checking my goals every so often because I believe that each time I see my goal list and the cheers Ive given, the cheers Ive received, it gives me inspiration to continue to move forward in my life toward making all my goals a reality and accomplishing every single one of them. Thank you 43things and thank you everyone. :) 2 years ago

Since I had been taking Tai-Chi in college, I will continue to practice the routines because Tai-Chi helps me to relax and meditate on the present instead of anything else around me or the past/the future. 2 years ago

So C is pretty much out of my life-well thank god. I got the impression that he was jelous about my flirting =which didnt even make sense because we were never an item. Haha just makes me laugh. Neways. so—getting the negative people and the people that I dont need out of my life is easier now. I still have a q about my new friend Y. She is a person I met, real quiet reserved type so she’s kinda myserious to me…Dont know if I could trust her but Ive been telling her bout my troubles as if shes a good friend cuz..well I guess I have no one else to turn to…...
Hmmm, well I began talking to an x of mine. Made it clear that Ive been hanging with a guy and my friends. So I guess he kinda gets the drift that Im not single. Each time he flirts with me, I blow it off and shoot back with a friendly comment. So yea, he knows I’m not interested. If he didnt know now, he’ll soon get a rude awakening—over and over & OVER, that Im simply not interested. Ive already got someone..maybe..and thats it.Haha theres no room for you, unless you care to be friends, which I do not mind. 2 years ago

I just finished my 1st year in college-went well bt need to take over a class..bt besides that I’m doing well. :) After my community college, and getting the basics out of the way I plan to go to a university—perefably out-of-state because its just way too darn boring if I stay here any longer.. Ill probably pull my hair out.lol but seriously its way too boring to stay here for the rest of my life to get a degree. I need to get out of this state! 2 years ago

I applied online for many jobs but turned in my application for work at BT, which felt so rewarding in soo many ways. I felt so happy, ectatic and ccompished because I had took initiative to make it all happen. I was the one who took the bus that drove me to BT and I was the one who filled out the application and I was the one who handed the application to one of the workers at BT. It was an out-of-body experience that sent goosebumps down my spine. It was an accomplishment that had to be done in person and NOT through the internet to actually get the feel of the excitement of being so close to getting a job. I turned it in 2 days ago. I will give them a call early tomorrow when they open so that the manager is there and will ask about my application so that they’ll know Im interested in getting the job. Wish me luck! :) 2 years ago

I’ve been able to fully be myself and not care what others thought about me. This has been the biggest step of my life. Before, I was timid and nervous about the thoughts of others as if they were being critical of me as a person, but now I could care less. My persona has completely changed. Now its like: “Here I am world! Take a look at me, this is me and I wouldn’t change it for anyone or anything!” :) 2 years ago

Yes that’s good! Find a psychiatrist that you feel comfortable with because this will be the person you will be talking to and will tell your problems and symptoms to. This is a big step toward getting through depression. You will meet me once your struggles with depression are conquered. Depression differs for different people but I believe that if a person is willing to put 100% into getting better, there’s no stopping them. Continue to think positively even when there may not be very good results, because its getting through the struggle that counts not how tedious the struggle it may be. 2 years ago

Ugh.. I feel so crappy. I feel like overdosing just a bit because nothings going right and I keep on getting into conflicts with my folks. :/ day in and day out is the same damn thing- its like a stupid merry go round, once I feel as if I am in a stable place with them and this chaotic fight of a ride is over, it starts up again with some clown conductor with a sick demented make-up smile across the face and an actual tear running down his cheeck, ruining his clown make-up. When will this twisted, psychotic, circus ride be over for me? :( .. 2 years ago

after i did do my sketching for therapy time that day and concentrated on myself and separated myself from the person who pissed my off and overall just stayed away from talking that way I was able to focus better upon gaining better access to tapping my creative side, I became at peace because I was no longer distracted by the world outside my room and became more focused upon the feelings that I felt, and btw sleeping all of these emotions off helped alot. It wasnt just the drawing, because at the time my emotinos were all over the place and when I woke up the next day, I was able to better contemplate what happened the day before and that night when I drew that it was theraputic to me. I had also went out to shop the next day, which took my mind off things. :) 2 years ago

I used to do that to. I became very reserved with others that I did not know very well but with people I knew well I felt comfortable to show who I truley was. I believe that these things take time, just as anything worth doing, worth having, and that has any merit in a person’s life because where would we be if life were to be easy? XD lol we would be bored ALL the time and that just would not do and would not settle very well with me. :) Continue to not loose yourself around others because like Janis Joplin, famous musician had said before, “Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.”
You’ll find your own voice soon enough and will freely be able to outspeak it in front of these people you dont even know. It may take awhile, coming from experience but if you stay strong toward your goal, nothing will stop you or slow you down from what you want to accomplish.
Here’s another well known quote: Women are like tea bags, they find out how strong they are when they are in hot water. We learn how strong we truley are when we are dealt with problems and what truley matters is how we resolve these problems and find the best solution for us. So continue and hang in there, it is possible if you stay strong to your goal and never give up or into giving up. I wish the best of luck to you! :) 2 years ago

Maybe its just how Im feeling right now but I think that I probably would get along better with a woman than a man. Im really sick of men at this point in time and want a different pace. Lol maybe I wont become bored and want to get out of the relationship and actually stay in one for the long run. XD I just dont know because Ive never been with a woman so I cant say If this would work for me or not…
Then again it just might be more stress because I bring half the stress and she brings the other half.. That would suck… But depending on her personality.. Idk Im thinking about this way too much instead of just going out and trying it. Haha too funny. 2 years ago

One of the big things that causes my anxiety is my inability to deal with stress and my anger. Here’s an example of my inability to take care of my temper, I believe.. :/ ... Heres a blog I wrote not too long ago that sums this idea up:

“Just the other day, literally XD i kissed my friend. It was nice and I had wanted to do such for awhile now. I knew that my friend would not see this as a big deal because i knew that they, in turn, liked me the way I had started to care for them. I could simply tell this by the little signs they gave off when we hung out together as “friends.” Neways so we kissed a good-night kiss and I felt lighthearted and at peace. I couldnt be more happier because I had fallen for my friend-this person who made me laugh and who I had a good time with each time we hung out. Well call this guy “C.”

I got a call from my other friend about a study session and when to meet up. We scheduled to meet the next day. We will call this person “D.” Well D was the guy that I had had an attraction toward since the begining of class and never got the nerve to talk to him until conicidentally an email was sent to all the students in the class by D calling for a study session toward whoever was interested. Since I needed a study session, I gladly replied and soon we ended up talking. One thing lead to another and now we txt and talk casually on the phone. XD neways so before I ever talked to C, I was attracted to D and continued to talk to D because I saw C as just a friend until we kissed and then it seemed to complicate everything…

The next day me and C hung out after class bt was tired and was a bore. He had to pay for me because I didnt have enough money and that might have pissed him off. Neways during the eatery, I had to step out because D called me, so I went to the bathroom to talk more privately. I stayed for quite some time though, now that I think of it, so maybe it was my fault in a way….
D called to cancel our study date that day and instead move it to the nxt day. I agreed that that would be a good idea and we hung up. Strangley he asked me what was the matter.. I told him nothing and that everything was good with a laugh,, It was because C was either pissed off at me, giving me the cold shoulder, idk something bt wen I got back to the table where C was, just having his reactions bounce off me, I felt soo out of it. I just wanted to either try to conversate with him to better the situation or get the hell out of there and have D come pick me up. Damn what a fuckin bust. Neways so there I was sitting at the table with C, bored out of my mind and haha faliing asleep. -Get this he apologizes and says that he’s sorry hes not up for talking because hes sleepy.
I dont know. Maybe Im making a big deal out of nothing. I just wanted to have fun and hang but this day pissed me off,—He pissed me off and after that I didnt want to speak to him for a very long time. This whole day pissed me off. Im just glad I could have the peace of mind to rant it out here. Surprisingly it helps tons…. :,

Im thinking of just forgetting him alltogether and getting to know D more instead of putting D on the backburner because supposedly I got serious with C. Hes just my friend the way I see it. He’s not worth my time if Im going to get pissed off lik this over some shitty little thing he does. Its just not worth it. I want to take my chances with D. See if I have better luck cuz Im not anyone’s %$@!’n bitch. I wont trail around while C does errands anymore. Thats bullshit! I shouldnt be treated like that and shouldnt have let that dick treat me that way. Dammit!
Im sick of this shit. Im taking my chances with D. That’s final.”

This is the blog I wrote not too long ago. By this blog you can see exactly what I am talking about with my anger issues.. :/ and after the whole event- I go straight to choosing a solution, without thinking about the consequences because I have been too worn down thinking about the situation itself to actually think about the solutions and get myself out of the rut that I’m in. Its sad because I know that I am a better person than this and don’t want to be this person anymore. I want to change. I want to be the better person I know I am and not let stupid trivial things like this get to me and change my mood and my emotions. I don’t want to be hung up on things like this, because I have a life and plan to enjoy and be fulfilled with it as much as I can. I will continue to better myself and reach my goal. :) There’s no stopping me once I put my mind to something. 2 years ago

Just the other day, literally XD i kissed my friend. It was nice and I had wanted to do such for awhile now. I knew that my friend would not see this as a big deal because i knew that they, in turn, liked me the way I had started to care for them. I could simply tell this by the little signs they gave off when we hung out together as “friends.” Neways so we kissed a good-night kiss and I felt lighthearted and at peace. I couldnt be more happier because I had fallen for my friend-this person who made me laugh and who I had a good time with each time we hung out. Well call this guy “C.”

I got a call from my other friend about a study session and when to meet up. We scheduled to meet the next day. We will call this person “D.” Well D was the guy that I had had an attraction toward since the begining of class and never got the nerve to talk to him until conicidentally an email was sent to all the students in the class by D calling for a study session toward whoever was interested. Since I needed a study session, I gladly replied and soon we ended up talking. One thing lead to another and now we txt and talk casually on the phone. XD neways so before I ever talked to C, I was attracted to D and continued to talk to D because I saw C as just a friend until we kissed and then it seemed to complicate everything…

The next day me and C hung out after class bt was tired and was a bore. He had to pay for me because I didnt have enough money and that might have pissed him off. Neways during the eatery, I had to step out because D called me, so I went to the bathroom to talk more privately. I stayed for quite some time though, now that I think of it, so maybe it was my fault in a way….
D called to cancel our study date that day and instead move it to the nxt day. I agreed that that would be a good idea and we hung up. Strangley he asked me what was the matter.. I told him nothing and that everything was good with a laugh,, It was because C was either pissed off at me, giving me the cold shoulder, idk something bt wen I got back to the table where C was, just having his reactions bounce off me, I felt soo out of it. I just wanted to either try to conversate with him to better the situation or get the hell out of there and have D come pick me up. Damn what a fuckin bust. Neways so there I was sitting at the table with C, bored out of my mind and haha faliing asleep. -Get this he apologizes and says that he’s sorry hes not up for talking because hes sleepy.
I dont know. Maybe Im making a big deal out of nothing. I just wanted to have fun and hang but this day pissed me off,—He pissed me off and after that I didnt want to speak to him for a very long time. This whole day pissed me off. Im just glad I could have the peace of mind to rant it out here. Surprisingly it helps tons…. :,

Im thinking of just forgetting him alltogether and getting to know D more instead of putting D on the backburner because supposedly I got serious with C. Hes just my friend the way I see it. He’s not worth my time if Im going to get pissed off lik this over some shitty little thing he does. Its just not worth it. I want to take my chances with D. See if I have better luck cuz Im not anyone’s %$@!’n bitch. I wont trail around while C does errands anymore. Thats bullshit! I shouldnt be treated like that and shouldnt have let that dick treat me that way. Dammit!
Im sick of this shit. Im taking my chances with D. Thats final. 2 years ago

Aww I’m glad I could be of help and that’s good for you. If the medication is not working for you, it is best to do without and try another. Just don’t give up hope, because there is a way out of depression. I’m living proof of this, and Ive never felt better in my life. I wish the same results will come to you too. 2 years ago

today I sketched again. I just got so stressed out because of no reason at all. I got really pissed off at someone for no damn reason.. I have such a short temper that it really is hard to deal with by myself but Im trying to do the best I can by concealing it through my sketches. It just is soo hard..not outbursting at anyone-like I always do….. ANd what really pisses me off is that I dont even know why the hell Im even pissed off in the first place. As if it was so trivial that it slipped my mind but the feeling still left its mark and continues to haunt my emotions… :/ 2 years ago