xstephnz

My friend is visiting this week, yay!



Recent entries from xstephnz
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xstephnz

xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz

xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz

xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnzIdeas

1. Iceskating
2. See two movies in a row
3. Go in a row boat under the stars
4. Make pizza and icecream together
5. Paint ball!
6. Take a cooking class
7. Go dancing
8. Fireworks
9. Tennis
10. Bake Off
11. Tennis
12. See a Basketball game together
13. Take a pottery class
14. Have a movie Marathon
15. Go to a costume party (or a million)
16. Go in a hot air balloon
17. Road Trip!
18. Go hiking
19. Make a gingerbread house
20. Go snorkling
21. Collect shells
22. Surf
23. Go whale watching, swim with dolphins
24. Board games
25. Just Dance on Wii
26. Do a 5k event together
27. Babysit
28. Candle lit dinner
29. Go to a concert
30. Make-out at the back of a movie
31. Picnic under the stars
32. Fly kites
33. Go to a fair
34. Go to an Amusement park
35. Go swimming!
36. Play cricket
37. Drive motorbikes
38.
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41.
42.
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44.
45.
46.
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48.
49.
50. 16 months ago


xstephnz

xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz

xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnz 16 months ago


xstephnzUntitled

’’Sometimes you have to look at what you want for yourself. Not because you think anyone cares if you succeed, not because you think someone is watching or will reward you somehow, and not because you are going to get recognition.’‘

-Isn’t this kind of the point of 43things? To set goals and accomplish things for ourselves? I do things knowing they won’t turn out the way I wanted, because I know I’ll regret it more if I don’t do them.

’’Maybe weight loss doesn’t even have to be a goal. You can just look at increasing your strength, speed, or endurance, and not even bother looking at the scale anymore. Sometimes weight is just too much pressure.’‘

That’s kind of my goal, I don’t even know if it’s possible for me to lose weight. I had success a few years ago, but then I went on medications that made it very hard to lose weight or even maintain a healthy weight and I 99% believe that it’s not possible for me to lose weight. I never lose more than 2 or 3 kilos, and I need to lose a lot more than that. I kind of think if I can perfect my exercise habits the food thing will sort itself out, because if I’m burning lots of calories I won’t want to waste them on junk food? I can’t really remember how to do it, or how to be successful. I wanted to count calories on my own, but I don’t have enough discipline to do this by myself. I’m thinking of doing Weight Watchers with my dad or joining Overeaters Anonymous. My medications have changed now, so it should be a bit easier to lose weight.

’’I think I misunderstood what you said in your post, I originally thought you meant that doing a 12K once a month was your main exercise, but from your second comment, I am getting that you use it as motivation to build your endurance in between too. That makes a big difference.’‘

Pretty much. Its a motivation tool to do better and stay healthy between events. It’s also a good way to mark each month and see my progress through pictures and my race times. My dad has agreed to join me once every three months.

’’Maybe keeping track of how much you walk/exercise each day could become a reward system. Maybe every week that you walk 5K every day you could give yourself some kind of cheer.’‘

-I have a reward system set up but I haven’t been able to enforce it. I don’t really have spare money at the moment.

’’It’s great that you stick to 10,000 steps a day, and it must suck, given that you have health issues.’‘

-Its an ideal, not a reality. I go through phases of doing 10,000 steps a day because I feel like I have to. I’m confused by it… if I do that many steps a day, do I still have to do other exercise? The experts recommend 30 minutes-1 hour of exercise a day, but I’m not sure if the steps go towards that or not. It take me about two and a half hours to get 10,000 steps. People on sparkpeople.com have told me to try and be active for 10 minutes of every hour, but I’m a total computer/couch potato and I don’t want to change that… the thought of being constantly active does not appeal to me. Maybe just doing something at the start and end of the day?

’’Lots of luck with your goals, you seem to work pretty hard to improve your health, and that’s what is important.’‘

-Thanks. I’m working with a few different people to sort out my life at the moment. My parents, my doctor, my psychiatrist and I’m about to get a free life coach. It’s really rough at the moment, having all my problems laid out infront of me, I constantly feel like I’m at breaking point, I hate being accountable to so many people, its hard feeling tied down at 23, not being able to make your own decisions etc. Having to go to bed at a certain time, eat a certain way etc. I’m looking forward to being trusted with my own life again.


xstephnzUntitled

Why thank-you! ;) 17 months ago


xstephnz:(

I’m not allowed to work for a while, so obviously paying off my student loan isn’t going to happen just yet.

I asked my parents to throw some money at it for Christmas but I think they’ve already brought my presents. I would be nice for it to shrink by a hundred dollars or so. 17 months ago


xstephnzI give up! (For now...)

I’m not allowed to work for six months or so. I’m seeing a psychiatrist and she doesn’t think I’m well enough. I’m going to work on some personal goals for now and do some volunteer work. I’m disappointed to give up this goal, I got so close!

When will my life begin?!? 17 months ago


xstephnzUntitled

I don’t know about you, but it seems like no-one ever really cares what I’m doing. I didn’t get to celebrate my 21st with a big party like my friends, and when I watched others cross the finish line for their 5k, everyone either had someone walking/running it with them or someone cheering them on from the other side- I had neither and it really stung. I’m a sensitive person, plus I have Bipolar II, ADD and Aspergers, so I’m often depressed. And yes, I am overweight. I’ve seen stories of thousands of people on sparkpeople doing a 5k and talking about how great they feel now rah rah rah, and I honestly don’t get it. Maybe when people have sucky experiances, they keep it to themselves, I don’t know. I’m just being honest. Maybe it’s because they trained in advance, or once had trouble even walking to their letter box or they ran it. I don’t know. I just know I didn’t feel the same way. I live with a critical mother, and find it hard to ever feel proud of my accomplishments or anything I ever do. I’ve also grown up in a culture with ’’tall poppy syndrome’’ where people that celebrate their sucess are often cut down by other people and bullied for ever feeling good about themselves.

I think committing to one event a month is good. It’s better than nothing. I’ve just been diagnosed with a whole lot of illnesses so I’m not allowed to work or study. I need to do something. In the past, I’ve found it really hard to lose weight without working out. I can’t just fix my eating habits, I need some sort of motivation not to eat crap all the time, and working out provides that. I think going out once a month will give me motivation inbetween events, to do better. I have a xtrainer that I try to spend an hour on at a time when I do it. I want to use it everyday, but at the moment its more like 0-3 times a week. I’m lazy. I’m sick of needing to lose weight. The whole topic is stale now. I’ve been on medications for the last five years that make it impossible to lose weight. I’ve just come off those medications, and I have no idea what to do with myself. If losing weight were easy, everyone would be slim.

I don’t like walking. It’s going to be even harder now because my ipod just broke and I can’t afford to buy a new one. I’ve always been taught that you need to do 10,000+ steps a day to maintain a good fitness level and good health. I think its important to do this even if you don’t enjoy it. It’s hard for me, as my default mode is couch potato/computer nerd, but these haven’t been as accessible to me in the last six months so I have been slightly more active.


xstephnzUntitled

Haha 17 months ago


xstephnzGetting Closer!

I still haven’t driven one, but I’ve taken a few pictures sitting on it! We had a worker come over to put up some fences to contain our stock. 17 months ago


xstephnz

xstephnz 19 months ago


xstephnzChristian, always

My parents were Christians when I was young, but I was more of an Agnostic. I’ve always believed in God but never really followed him. I thought it was something to do when I had 7 years to live, then I could make my peace with him and go to Church, because I thought it was a boring place to be!

I became ’’saved’’ hundreds of times as a kid/young teenager. Things would change for a few days then I would kind of forget about it. It makes me wonder what day God has written in his book of life!

I haven’t seriously considered other faiths. I’ve attended Baptist and Pentecostal churches but I consider myself ’’Non Denominational’’- I think most Christian groups have good and bad qualities and you have to make your own decisions on what to believe and practice in your life. I don’t want to be controlled by some church, because what if they are wrong? I want to know the word of the Bible for myself so I can decide what I believe is right.

I kind of considered being a Buddhist Christian when I was 15/16. I thought Buddhism was a beautiful and peaceful religion, but now it seems like there’s a bit of idol worship in there. I don’t really think you can be a member of two different religions any more, but you can probably ’’borrow’’ things you like.

The idea of any other religion being right is mind blowing to me. I think Christianity is more likely to be true than any other faith although it’s not perfect- God is though. I kind of wish I was wrong because I hate the idea of people actually going to hell, no matter how bad they’ve been. I think there should be forgiveness and heaven for everyone eventually, even if they have to have a hundred million years of punishment/cleansing before they can enter. 17 months ago


xstephnzYep!

I have a ’’Light Party’’ at church. It’s to keep the Christian youth out of trouble and to celebrate the good in the world instead of the evil, and you get to dress up, as long as it’s not Halloween related/scary.

I’m not sure about wearing a costume, I can’t afford to hire one and I’m terrible at sewing.

I got sucked into painting nails, but I can barely paint my own. I wish I was asked to do face painting, I would be awesome at that! 17 months ago


xstephnzIt's overcast

Luckily I was still able to hang out washing and get it dried, I was about two weeks behind! Eek! 17 months ago


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