stop picking my skin

Wow, for some reason i haven’t posted an entry for months. Before the summer i mannaged to stop the habit for about 2 weeks. thats probably my best record for about 3 years. Awful. Lately the habit has been constant – everyday i have been destroying my skin, even tonight. Its extensive; my arms, shoulders, back, neck, chest, face. Although considerably worse on my face. The thing is, if i just STOPPED, it would clear up within a few weeks easily! It seems to heal so quickly, but i guess as i get older my skin won’t be as leanient. I have no motivation at the moment really. + the stress of A levels doesnt help much.

Alice x

Suddenly felt really depressed.. lead to picking on my arms. Whats even more depressing is that hours before i was looking at the scars on my arm and thinking how bad they actually were. I dont seem to think of the consequences when i get into a ‘picking’ state. Extremely disapointed.

Alice x

Since my previous entry, i haven’t picked.. thats 11 days no picking! quite good, just depends if i can leave the roundabout and hit the highway now. =]

Alice x

Okay so took a huge step in the wrong direction, and attacked my chest, arms and face, but now i am starting over..I can’t promise i’ll stop forever because i have done this so many times before.. and its like a circle, but i’ll see how it goes. Me and my friend who has a different [not so appearance destroying!] habit, have started a compeition – everytime one of us comits the crime of doing the habit, we have to put a piece of paper in a jar, for every time,and then, when we meet up, whoever has the most paper in their jar, owes the other person £5. I guess its slightly motivating! Also i bought my prom dress the other day.. i love it.. but it won’t look good unless i look after myself from now.

Alice x

Does anyone ever find, that once they pick one spot, they pick more.. and it turns into a whole big attack of picking?

And does anyone ever stay at home because they are too ashamed to go out looking so messed up?

I’m so angry at myself at the moment.

Alice x

GRR. getting worse… four days ago skin was rellli looking great and i was feeling good, now, complete opposite.. nice one Alice!

x

Okay so AFTER my entry yesterday, that evening i had a total melt down, i don’t know where all my self dicipline went to and i pretty much ruined all the hard work i put in to get my skin looking good over the past fortnight. Luckily i’m not going out today anyway… lots of water and healthy food for me… GR =[

Alice x

I have only picked one spot in the last week, a particularly irritating one. Proud of the progress actually.. because usually i don’t recover for a while after an outburst. Still won’t be satisfied until skin is close to perfect… damn being a perfectionist.

Alice x

Yesterday i went to a party, got a bit drunk, which didnt seem to help my skin, and then due to the depressant factor the morning after it lead to picking skin on my face and chest =[. luckily its not that bad though. I’m going to try my hardest to make sure its a one off, because i have two weeks easter to sort it out now.

Alice x

Yeah so since joining this site i haven’t picked..however i’ve had many phases like this.. i can go about two weeks max and then it all falls apart. Thing is i really can’t afford to let that happen! I’ve only stopped picking for about three days and already most of the spots have gone, but the moment i start again its bad for weeks until i can bring myself to stop. Furthermore i have prom in three months! I cant turn up to that looking a mess, it would ruin the entire event!

Alice x