drink less

alrighties so Im still drinking…but not at the pace I usually do….I had 2 beers yesterday at like 2 am after a hellish shift, then went straight to bed…and again tonight, ok 3 beers… I have to work tommorow…wow this whole totally stop drinking is really f*ckin hard….at least I’m not getting totally sloshed and blacking out anymore….now I’m making excuses…am I being too hard on myself? I don’t know…all I know is that I’m not getting so hammered anymore that I’m blacking out and spending a large amount anymore on drinking…..wow….can I actually do this on me own..??? :p

alright the day I was tempted I didn;t cave…(last entry) then that night some friends came visiting form outta town last minute…I spent 2 days straight drinking…regretted it, hangover was bad…did not feel well for 2 days after….that was 5 days ago….this weekend I work all weekend until the early hours…sooo I won;t even go drink. My work hours fall into the “evening” and early morning sooo yay! this job will hopefully help….I firmly decided to take this one specific job because it’ll keep me busy during the weekend and evenings….I ws offered others that had weekends off but I declined….so again let’s see how long I last…took up excersising much more, so I know that’ll help…man it’s a struggle at times though…

oh I was tempted to hit the LCBO up. I walked by and seen it was open….I thought…”I wanna drink” just that one thought popped up….then I thought why? no answer came up, it’s not like I had anything to celebrate…just that impulse struck me…the sight of a LCBO….wow I thought…at that moment I actually realized that I had a problem…well I guess the “old me”. It’s been one week since I drank…and I’m happy

wow, yeah I have never taken this goal seriously until now. I have said in the past….”yeah I should drink less…” and yet behold a couple days after I’m sitting with friends getting sloshed. I don’t drink socially, I drink to get wasted….about every weekend. Hell it doesn’t even have to be every weekend it could be on a Tuesday night…why? I’m not sure, but I know it is interfering with my life….