Act as if

it really matters
because, in fact, it really does.
Then again it really doesn’t,
It will pass away with love.

How confusing is that?

what would I be doing?

I kept thinking of this from Susan Jeffers all day today. Acting as if my actions mattered. You know what I think that they really do matter. Just keep believing that and it all falls into place.

The Universe just reminded me where I first found this goal.

It was while reading Susan Jeffer’s books….”Feel The fear and Do It Anyway” and “Feel The fear and Beyond”. The second of those books looks out at me everyday from my bookcase. For a longtime I’ve been walking past it out of the bedroom and into the bedroom. Just lately it’s been calling to me and on Monday i finally picked it up! I was shocked at seeing the same issues written in the workbook pages as I continue to grapple with today!

I must remember this quote now and when the time comes…

“I intructed her to put a sign on her desk for one week which said, “If I were really important here, what would I be doing?” and participate full-out in doing it. I told her that, even if she didn’t feel important in her job, she should “act-as-if” her actions really made a difference to everyone around them”.

Maybe what has been happening is that I have worked in fits and starts at this, and maybe not just in my job but in other areas in my life. So I’ve given out this “acting as if” maybe only half heartedly. That means I have had to work extra hard with some people and that they don’t trust me as i have not been consistent. That means that I have felt the sting of “rejection” and let it knock me back! I guess I am just a big softie.

I guess that it’s all just of my own making.

I need to pull myself back in and push myself back out if that makes sense. And when i am back in shape – starting NOW – I need to pay attention!

Reminders have been coming that all add up to the same thing.

Reminders from Abraham Hicks(TY to wbmsic for THAT reminder) about “living your dream” and also from Ekhart Tolle about honouring the small things.

I need to stay awake.

I know I have two major tasks looming that involve standing up in front of others and leading something.Either that or I may get an interview for that new job. I will need to act as if I am certain of myself and what I am saying.

The thing is…. I don’t think i’ll EVER be certain of ANYTHING!

But I can act as if I am.

If I start preparing now then these tasks will be more manageable.

act as if I am complete raving lunatic…it seems to be working for me at the moment!

but I did it today…i acted as if…..and it was ok mostly….I noticed one guy’s expression, which could potentially have burst my bubble but did not let it stop me. How did I do it? I don’t quite know.

when I go into …... this week…..act as if I am doing a good job(I am doing an ok job).....act as if I am providing something worthwhile(I am providing something worthwhile).....act as if everyone is pleased to see me…...act as if everyone values my work…..act as if I’ve never been away!