post letters here that i would never send

The way I feel about you terrifies me.
Please do your best to never ever leave me.

Heh.
I feel so stupid for everything I invested in you.
You don’t actually like me do you?
You just like the idea of me.
How fucking riddiculous.
As soon as I build up the confidence to do it, you’d better believe that you are getting the fuck out of my life.

Here’s a little something you might not have noticed.
I’m actually nice to pretty much everyone.
My being nice to you does not equate to me having a thing for you.
In fact, you are pretty much repulsive.
So you know what?
Next time your girlfriend pisses you off you can go and vent about it to someone else.
And then when things are okay again you can accuse them of hitting on you.
This is probably why you don’t have more friends.
Thanks for the slap in the face though, I’ll treasure it.

Btw, I am fairly certain that if you have to try so hard that it isn’t working.

You need to move on.
Seriously, get over me.

You’re awesome.
I’d be flipping lost without you.
Let’s be BFFL. (Lol cuz I know how much you hate that term.)

I so badly want to have this stupid talk with you.
But of course that wouldn’t end well.
Because you’d take it the wrong way.
But then that might be for the better since it might make you loosen up a bit.
Or completely break you.
I guess I’ll just keep my feelings to myself from now on.

Honey.
You’re my best friend and I care about you very very much.
But here’s the thing.
When you get upset you are the world’s most annoying person.
For starters you get all depressive over stupid things.
Yes, you had a little fight with someone and that sucks, but if you honestly believe that she’s never going to make up with you then you’re obviously very very confused.
I give it a day tops and you’ll be talking again.
And all that would be fine, if you didn’t keep doing that annoying self pity stuff and saying how you don’t know why I put up with you and how you’re sure I secretly hate you and shit.
Which is nice…
Just the kind of thing you should say to your best friend.
Really.
Thanks for all the credit.
Oh and ps. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING in the world makes me more angry than someone telling me how I’m supposed to feel.
I will feel what I bloody well like okay?
And no, me saying this doesn’t mean that I hate you.
I still love you because to me friendship is something that is not just about good times.
Haven’t I done enough to prove to you that I’m here for the good and bad?
So stop telling me that I hate you and that I should just abandon you and shit.
Because your lack of faith in yourself translates to a lack of faith in me.
After everything I think the least you can give me is a little bit of faith.

You know something?
Life is mean.
I love you.
But somehow that doesn’t mean anything.
Life is really mean.

I am not a slut.
Fuck you.

You know your death is on my hands. The other day, my bitch of a father brought you up to intentional hurt me. And he succeeded. I felt a little of me die inside when he mentioned so hurtfully that your death was on my hands. Your blood was on my hands. On what charge? Of not looking after you properly. Know that I’ve always loved you despite your neediness and dependence on me. If I could reverse charges, I’d have sent you to live with someone more caring who could provide for you more. You should’ve been free but behind the wire cage, you were solely dependent on me. So when you fell for the last time, it seemed I fell too. Sunk into the depth of my conscience who whispered salty words into my blistered mind. This sounds all poetic and crap but truly, you didn’t deserve what you got.
Now, if only you, as my darling bird, could ever find it in your poor heart to forgive my mistreatment.
I’d be in your debt forever.