i want to build a web site

After a year back in my corporation world, it’s about time to review all my wish list. The truth is I don’t have enough time to learn it or even have the strenght to continue it. So .. I’ll put aside this from my wish list and put it into my “dream wish list”

There is one thing that I always admired from a child, their curiosity.

From their curiosity, they can build anything that we never even imagined it; they can see things from different perspective.

From their curiosity, they can let go their fear of making a mistake, from fear of people’s judgment of their invention.

Today, after 2 days, finally I finished my 1st page of my personal web – not my company web –

I will use the eyes of my children, the curiosity of my children, in designing my own web.

My company web….for sure, as had been decided before, I will ask the expert to work out my idea…

But at least, I have tried to create my own.

It’s not finish yet, but it’s a good start.

I wish…I really wish that I have the spirit to continue designing my company website.

The temptation to quit is so big.

It seems that I put a lot of “goals” on my plate and put them all as “number 1 priority”.

I never learned to prioritize..something that I always failed, something that all my friends reminds me to do.

It’s almost 2 months, and haven’t put anything ….only a sketch.

I hate myself…!!!!

Maybe I push myself too hard, maybe I want to proof something to my self.

When I told my colleague that I want to start my own company and quit from my job, she told me that for sure I will lost my knowledge of technology, that I will not understand anything, or in other word I’ll be a “dumb” person.

I hated her by saying that, I hated her because of her mean opinion.

Then starting from that day, I told myself that I have to proof something, proof to that person, to my lunch time gang, that I’m still the person that they know.

What a stupid idea !! But I can’t quit, I’m too arrogant to do that.

Oh GOD, please…give me a chance to finish it…

I remembered my conversation with Joerg, at Asian Living Exhibition in Frankfurt.

He told me that he had tried to browse my company website but he could not find it.

It was 14 February, where everybody there was preparing their valentine’s day.

I gave him my big smile and my standard usual excuses “my website were under construction and will be ready within 2 months”.

Today, the end of 2 months will come within 5 days

I almost gave up my 1st things of my 43things list, until I read a comment of my entry and the cheered that I have.

How come I dissapointed the people who supported me, somebody that they know from the list of 43things….

So, in remembering the cheered, the comment, I had to tell you all that I had finished the 1st step of designing a website, I had finished the sketch of my site map, the foundation before I move on.

That 2 months for sure … I can not beat it, but I know that I have won the 100 m sprint competition, the competition between the loser and the winer

It is still long way to go, I still have to finish the sketch of every page ..but I know I had pass the toughest part, deveated myself.

Let’s see 1 week from now…I still owe you all, the report of my website journey.

When I start my handicraft business, I know that I have to create a web for my things. It’s part of the marketing strategy of introducing my own company.

I try to enroll to a webdesign course, but it takes 6 months and I don’t think I can’t wait for that long.

So, I decided to learn and create by my own.

Hopefully, I can finish it within 2 months…and show that to all of you