Complete "The Artist's Way"

I’ve read the entire thing – even though I haven’t done all the exercises. I don’t do the morning pages anymore, but I’ll come back to writing again… soon.

But I am being productive, with what I need to tend to for now.

So this semester was too damned hectic that I made very little to no progress on this.
I am disappointed in myself, but it was necessary to pass my chemistry classes.
I am going to devote my break to this goal.

my goal is to stay on the process..

I did Wk 5 two weeks ago, but I hadn’t checked in. I also found it hard to continue with Artist’s Way the past two weeks. (I didn’t realize how involving my ASL course would be.) So I will be doing Wk 6 this week. Having that 2-week break means I’m a bit distant from what I wrote for Wk 5 back then. I bring my perspective now when reviewing what I wrote then.

Morning Pages: 6/7.

Artist Date: I don’t remember going on one. I remember thinking I have to plan harder to make sure I get an AD.

Issues: Ooh, big time! Let’s see if I can keep this brief.

-1My favourite creative block is overextending myself: too many books, movies, classes, etc. It’s so important that I discipline myself better, that I not take on too much, turn my back on impulses. Otherwise I don’t do the inner work I need to do.

-2The wish list exercises were useful for capturing “frivolous” wishes. It’s valuable for me to remember that I am not always so serious.

-3The grievance list against God was needed. Simply put, I have a problem with trust. And I think the basis of this is a mistrust of God. Julia Cameron says the creator is generous, etc. How I experience God is that He is the Untameable Whirlwind in the Book of Job. A force of power that one cannot will to be “nice” to oneself. Doing Artist’s Way is helping me devote the attention to doing the inner work I’ve known I must do. And the process has magnified the questions I need to face and resolve. Cameron does say that the process of recovery could lead to one realizing that one might need to make drastic changes in one’s life. But what if those changes mean people close to me being hurt? What if change means the destruction of my lifestyle as I know it? Can I trust God the Destroyer?
Yes, change is demanded of me. Yes, destruction is demanded of me. It is to clear away the blocks to positive growth, to healing, to integrity … Regardless, the work ahead is formidable. And I know I can’t avoid it. I just wish I have a vision that it’ll turn out okay, that the pain will be for the good.

There’s no doubt that the Artist’s Way is serious spiritual work. One must be cautious with it.

“Your dreams will become stronger and clearer, both by night and by day …” So true for me. As this was really the 6th week for me, I must say the dreaming over the last 3 weeks has been more vivid.
Last night, I dreamt of a Latino gang member from LA staying up here in Vancouver. And he represented this stance of might makes right. Now I’ve been thinking more about meditation and Buddhism lately, and in the dream I was wondering what would the Dalai Lama say to this young man … Questions like How does one live peacefully in our violent times? and How do we not give in to the hardness around us? have arisen in me lately.

A strange week as you will learn…
Morning Pages: 6 out of 7. Because on the morning I decided to give myself a break, I ended up in the hospital emergency because of a chest pain. Now I don’t know if this is a cosmic joke or something … but hey everybody, be careful of deliberately missing an MP =-)

Artist Date: Hmmm, do I call my 10-hr stay in emergency my AD this week? Well, all I can say is I stocked up on many images that day! Don’t know if I’d recommend it, unless you do it deliberately and not as a patient.

Synchronicity: Okay, how does my ending up in the hospital be synchronicity? Help me on this :-) Well, it’s a big event, the kind where you take stock, and where you learn more about who your friends are. So it’s a defining event, one in keeping with some of the tasks this week like imagining what you want to achieve by age 80, throwing out clothes and make room for the new, think of one situation you feel you are stuck in. I’ll have to ponder more about such a loud communication from God.

Tasks: I didn’t do as much of them this week, but I’m not too worried as I realize Julia Cameron takes a spiraling approach and goes over similar territory in later weeks.

The week started well as I read the chapter on the first day, and even started working on the tasks. I organized a gift-giving for a colleague who turned the big 6-0. Then the hospital visit came right in the middle, and I woke up groggy the next morning from the lengthy stay and the general stress of it. (btw, it was a false alarm, probably a sore muscle in the chest wall from sleeping the wrong way.) I lost my AW focus, but was productive on other fronts. And Sunday was simply for leisuring as a reward for having such an eventful week… A big lesson was learning to give myself more time at night to relax (doing Evening Pages is good). On to Wk 5. I realize I’m going to have to plan harder about my Artist Date.

I didn’t like having to do this because I get so much out of reading. As with doing Morning Pages (and the AW in general), you get what you put into it. And that’s how I approach reading a book.
However, aside from the reading I have to do at work (and I have to, otherwise I would be disciplined I’m sure), I did keep the serious reading to a minimum. My significant break from deprivation happened when I was waiting in a hospital emergency room for test results. I was there for 10 hours! So I read an Alice Munro short story. (Can that lady ever write!! I hadn’t read one of her stories in probably at least a decade, and I was absolutely awed by her skill.)
I appreciate the reason for reading deprivation, that going without (for example, fasting) is a widely accepted spiritual practice. Perhaps I’ll deprive myself to a greater extent in the near future. I know it’s made me hungrier to read!

Morning Pages: 7 of 7. In the swing of it. Quality and breadth of topics covered continue to be good. Something is happening … maybe a calming effect. Makes sense if MP is an outlet for venting. The venting gives way to more charitable thinking, particularly of people I have difficulty with.
Artist Date: I went to a grand opening of a university branch. Meant taking a transit route new to me (the freshness of new discovery). The campus location and building are very contemporary. Dance exhibitions and demos from the various technology depts were quite exciting. Lots of new images in the well!
Exercises: Esp liked the questions about people I admire. Gives me qualities to emulate.
Synchronicity: Hmmm that’s a toughie. But if synchronicity is about “a thousand unseen helping hands,” then I cannot discount the general more positive state I’m in AND the increased clarity of vision of issues I cannot run away from. One more biggie: there’s a growing sense of striking out boldly creatively, as if one is graduating and the world lies open before me.
Question for you AW graduates: If AW has helped your creative recovery, have you taken the next steps to undertake creative projects? I’m asking because I’m feeling that’s where I’m heading.

Morning Pages: 6.5 out of 7. Wow, the themes certainly stood out, like the hunger for the discipline to Get Things Done, expressed mainly by venting the frustration from not doing enough and by planning planning planning. Also, the theme of a personal situation that’s come to a head and must be resolved.

Artist Date: I’m going to use one from a couple of weeks ago when I should have been more disciplined with doing the Wk 2 exercises. An outing to English Bay. Gelato from Mondo. The ambience of Davie St. Napping by the water. All good.

Exercises: Enjoyed them. Always helpful to reflect on what areas I need to work on. Really looking forward to the effects of repeating affirmations throughout the week! I’m putting them on an index card to look at throughout the days.

Synchronicity: This actually doesn’t begin till Week 3. Still, I must note that I’ve been seriously thinking of learning sign language as a possible career change. At the Canadians baseball game, there were two people in their late 50s/early 60s in the row behind me who were signing about the game (I think that’s what they were conversing about). Fascinating.