become a successful writer

Since I last visited, I have become an award-winning writer!
I entered a short story in the San Diego Book Awards competition last year, and didn’t hear back from them for the longest time. Other people in my writing group received feedback from the panel, and I wondered if my entry had vanished into the cosmic slush pile.

Then, one day, I got a phone call from one of the Book Awards panel, telling me I was a finalist. I didn’t go to the event, as it lasted for 4 hours and cost $30 to attend. I couldn’t think of anyone, friends or family, I would wish to subject to a four hour event just so they could see me get my 15 minutes of fame, and I don’t do well in groups of strangers. The day after the event, I received an email telling me I won! I subsequently received a certificate and a tasteful trophy in the mail.

I’ve entered another short story this year, an exquisitely crafted tale located in Baja California, which uses one of my favorite themes; the ambiguity of supernatural events. As with last year, I’ve not heard back from them yet, and the event is coming up soon in May. It would be nice to add another writing trophy to my collection, which mostly consists of karate awards from tournaments and competitions entered back in the day.

I think I’ll even attend the Book Awards ceremony this year. I hear they have caterers and tasty snacks!

This is the end, my friend…the end of the brief roller coaster ride hosted by “The New York Literary Agency.”

Actually, it’s not a real roller coaster ride. It’s more like those rooms on hydraulics that have a screen onto which is projected a roller coaster ride. Like that ‘Back to the Future’ ride at Universal Studios, without the bitchen DeLorean.

Sherry from Acquisitions says, “Congratulations and my warmest wishes for our mutual success! And again, we thank you for your understanding and your acceptance of our business philosophy.”

Oh, Sherry, I’m afraid we have a misunderstanding, darlin’! I’m afraid that my ‘business philosophy’ has features that yours, apparently, has left out. Things like ethics, honesty, giving good service for payment. Not defrauding naive, new writers by requiring them to pony up a chunk of change for a “critique.”

You tried to scam the wrong writer, Sherry. I am not a stranger to fraudulent practices, and I despise them. Google my name, and you will find that I’ve gone head to head with the biggest scam artists of all, the “church” of Scientology!

The New York Literary Agency sent me a contract, with the following instructions, “We ask that you get the critique started in parallel with sending in the contract.” And, since I am new to this field, they helpfully include a link to a place that offers this service.

“If you do not have a critique, please email the following address and tell
them that we referred you.

“AdminNY@writersliterary.com All you have to say is “Sherry referred me”.”

This probably leads to some hairy brother-in-law named Sal, who is actually sitting in a back room of their condo in Tampa Beach chewing on a soggy cigar, for we already know that their New York office is nothing more than a mail drop!

I had the foresight to ask questions and do some web research before blindly following these instructions, which would relieve me of money I could better use elsewhere, buying gasoline, for example. The sad thing is, for every writer who actually will do research, there are probably dozens of hopefuls who are blinded by the bullshit, and so entranced by the notion that somebody thinks their work is marketable that common sense goes right out the window. Looking up Literary Agents in the Writer’s Market guide, I note that they are not shy about listing the authors they represent. The New York Literary Agency is very cagey, citing “author privacy” to avoid it. If that doesn’t raise a red flag, I don’t know what will! Authors depend on name recognition!

Furthermore, the agencies in the book list dozens of sales per year. Sherry says that The New York Literary Agency has sold 4 titles, and assures me that this is a good track record.

Well, onward and awkward, say I. The publisher who requested the first 30 pages of my manuscript is my hope for the future. They’re a real company, with dozens of titles. From what I’ve read, it’s hard to even get your foot in the door with 30 pages, yet my ms slid through with ease. By this time next year, I may be a published author. I should be hearing from them very soon, hopefully with a request for the entire piece.

When I do, I will update the next chapter in this segment of my life.

THIS year in May, a short story of mine won the San Diego Book Awards ‘unpublished short story’ category.

This year, I finished a novel that I started last year as a short story, which expanded to a novella, and thence to a full-blown novel.

In February, 2006, I sent a synopsis off to a publisher, who requested the first thirty pages and asked that I give them 3-4 months to read it.

Today is July 1. Their four months is almost up.

In the meantime, my path crossed with that of the “New York Literary Agency.” After a few automail messages from them, we got to the meat of the thing. They want a 3rd party critique of my manuscript, even including “genuine” ones as examples. Of course, it will cost me $70 USD for this critique. They don’t provide such a service, but they can refer me to some people who are qualified to perform this critique.

After Googling their name, I find that screenwriters have a worse deal…their screenwriting review service is $99. So we see here that $70 is a bargain!

So, I await the reply from this publisher. This is the first company I contacted, and they seem interested. After all, if the editor read the first 30 and hated it, I’d have heard by now, right? RIGHT?

I tell you, writing is fun. Trying to sell your writing is as annoying as fishing…fun when you hook one, irritating and boring when you get skunked!