write and perform silly songs, make loads of money and fly around in a diamond-encrusted spaceship called the SoaP Dragon with my fellow Snakes on a Plane bandmates

around a star in Pegasus.

I think we should go and explore

Juries are going to make a comeback! Read all about it here!

Svante Stockelius, Eurovision’s executive supervisor, said: “Nothing is more democratic than the vote of the public. But a jury takes the opportunity to listen to the songs several times before they make up their minds. We believe a combination will make the show more interesting.”

Hmmmm…..

Does this mean no soppy ballads from Russians in half-open white shirts who fancy themselves rather too much, with foppish ice skaters prancing in the background, in future? I do hope so. On the other hand, am not convinced that the Latvian Wolves of the Sea would have fared better with anyone who had to listen to it more than once ;)

for the Autumn. I do hope they are all on the internet or SL will be kicking herself for getting rid of the TV.

‘Lost in Austen’ – A sort of Life on Mars, crossed with Through the Looking Glass, crossed with Pride and Prejudice. Woman dissatisfied with London life finds Elizabeth Bennet in her bathroom, and swaps places. ^{can’t wait for that one}

‘Wallender’ – Scandinavian murder mystery

‘Tess of the d’Urbervilles’ – Yes!! a four parter of Hardy’s classic

‘Little Dorrit’ – 15 parter of classic Andrew Davies’ Dickens

Zonino!!!

is asking people to vote for the oddest book title ever

i just received a mail from a friend requesting votes for the contribution that won her a bottle of vintage champagne in 1994 (Highlights in the History of Concrete), but ended up being led astray by marmalade (The Book of Marmalade: Its Antecedents, Its History and Its Role in the World Today). that’s definitely one for the wish list.

_{tomorrow i’m going to vote for Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality.}

to write a song to celebrate the Gang’s trip to Oslo. We had an amazing time and CC SoapDragon was a most excellent tour guide. In fact it was tempting to hire a bus so she could navigate the one-way streets and provide commentary on every building.

Apologies if it’s a bit Nordkrapp, but this is what I came up with.

With Arrogant Dragon as our guide, we were never bored
Lots of snortfullll times were had as we frolicked the fjord
On the rare days when it rained, in hotel lifts we toured
_{Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes…}

The sun would rise at five a.m., we woke up far too early
Had to drink ten coffees and then eat a Curly Wurly
Checking out our finger lengths to see who was most girly
_{Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes…}

We decided to walk quickly past the museum of sea-farts
But strolling round the city we saw that most Norwegian arts
Are based around the concept of dismembered body parts
_{Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes…}

Practising the art of pic-nic made us all quite merry
First we drank a can or six of 4.7% perry
Then moved on to a wine made from the scary Black Crowberry
_{Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes…}

We never got to hear Cora’s famous signature scream
But we can confirm Norwegian chocolate is a dream
Meloncholy cocktails were all part of the scheme
_{Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes…}

Holed up with a great big stash of Pringles in our lair
I’d get up to make a drink, CC would nick my chair
And hastily start discussing whether dogs have fur or hair
_{Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes…}

We never did find Morten but we found the river police
And we also learned that in emergencies
A cocktail shaker can be made from a jar of chickpeas
_{Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes…}

Making sure we never ran out of canine supplies
Brilliant Ziida agents in a curlygirl disguise
For such good behaviour they deserve a tasty prize
Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes
Liverpaste kisses, fishpudding eyes!

Hurrah! :)

from Branson

amazing what you can hide in your underwear

Of course there is only an emergency corkscrew in mine (as far as I know)

latest from the BBC

But the BBC has now got the message too

a strange Japanese poodle excercise video and felt the need to pollute other minds too. So sorry.