get skinny

wish that the yellow screen would get removed..
its not like im gonna get anorexia i couldnt get that anyway, i love food.
i just want to get thinner but i dont want to stop eating.
you can get thinner without getting anorexia you know…

if i was being synical i would say that even if you put that yellow screen there to try to deter us, theres still gonna be people like us trying to band together for support to loose weight, and we will do it with or with out the screen so wats the use

for the past few days i have been successfully keeping my eating down during the day untill today, i ate 1037 calories
i wasnt even hungry and i just kept eating i hate that.
well that was my last meal anyway till tonite i dont know how but im gonna just have a banana smoothie and some almonds for dinner and get an early nite that way i wont want to eat or have any excuse..
and tomorrow, ill aim to eat 1100 calories a day instead.
im gonna loose weight if its the last thing i do.
call me obsessive but ive always wanted to be thin, i got it, i lost it and i want it back.

height (never changes) 155cms 5ft 1 inch
weight 116 lbs 53kgs
BMI 22.1 metric or 21.9 standard
avg cal intake per day 2000 :(
but it will change, it better fucken change

dammit i am like 53kgs again
i can never control myself
my weakness is food
im eating like 2000 cal and over a day, and they say thats normal but im really short so it realy would have nowhere to go
i hate starving, but i eat too much
how can i motivate myself into loosing the weight again??

you know, i used to be able to burn like 500 cal in one go, but now i cant even burn like 300 before i get soo tired, and im not even skinny!! and i cant even eat under 1200cal a day without being so starving!!
it sucks!!!
i wish that i could at least eat just 1200 MAX a day and just stick it, till my body gets used to it, then i can move down to 1000. and when i loose it, then i can go to 500.
i really want this, and i want this so bad.
i cant win my comps without being skinny.
when i was i was winning and now i put on weight, the most i get is 4th.
this proves the system has not changed.
you still and probably always will, have to be thin to win.

ok so just saying that im going to only eat 1000 calories a day is not working… i dont know how i can make myself do this with out throwing up my food, theres got to be another way because i dont want to be bulimic.
i just ate 1200 calories in one meal… omg. i dont know how i do that, i just cant stop eating when i do eat.
but im not giving up… i must loose this weight, or i wont be able to do RALPH, ill pull out.
because i dont usually win competitions, as it is, and if my body gets worse (which it has, then i wont even get 4th place.
i want to get to a size 6.. and im a 10.
i know i can do it..
my goal weight is 100lbs. im 114lbs so im a bit away at the moment.
if anyone knows any tricks for loosing weight, then please comment me and tell me what they are
but note that if you are only commenting me to tell me not to loose weight, ill delete your comment.

I am 52.5kgs. nearly 53kg.
its so hard when you are addicted to food, and you have certain cravings that you eat everytime you go out. and this is not just once a week, this is nearly every day….. and i think that if i dont stop what im doing, i will certainly become just like i was before.. and not be able to be a model anymore.
so i have to cut out some of those things, not all or i will loose it and overeat.
ok, so the fruit flo, chocholics cookies and lentil pie,
theyre in.
then theres the chips, icecream, theyre out.
that cuts out heaps, but the cookies make up for the majour calorie intake.i should nt be eating them. but i will.
ok and now the calorie intake, i keep going over it, honestly, its been like 1700 average
and i dont know, sometimes more than that, and i shouldnt be going over 1400 a day. so thats right, im going to make the ultimate sacrifice, and drop it down to 1000 a day, my body will be in shock and i imagine very lethargic and hungry but im sure it will get used to it in the end. i have to do this, i have no choice, i cant eat what i want and still stay skinny enough i have proved that.
Then its excersize, wont be at the computer so much, wanna do ddr, conditioning, and running, anything.
i have RALPH model search in 4 weeks and i have to loose 10lbs at least and build tone before then or i wont have a shit show in hell.
SUMMARY:
good junk: cookies, fruit flo, lentil pie.
Bad junk: icecream and chips.
Excersize: DDR, running, conditioning, anything.
Calorie intake per day: 1000cal
weigh loss goal: 10 lbs and over, build muscle tone.
BMI goal:19.5

i got to 48 kg a while ago and then i put on 1kg to 49 but unfortunately, i lost lots of energy and got a bit unhealthy so i went to the doctor and he wanted to get me to put on like 1kg. i wasnt happy about that but i wanted to get healthy, so i focused on eating for nutrition, not to gain any weight, but very unfortunately, i went beserk a bit and ate heaps of good food, but also not so good food like cookies and gained 3kg.
was very upset about this, and now trying to get rid of it. momentarily gained another kg, but lost it quickly due to immediate decision to loose weight. now even though i am aware that i dont need to loose the weight i put on, i still want to loose the weight, because i like the look of me when i was 48kg, i was much more attractive for modeling.
so i was momentarily ok with this gain, but now want to go back to loosing it and make sure i still stay healthy.
wish me luck on staying healthy.

oh a tip i learnt off my friend, you cant actually eat what you want even though you have excersized 3hrs a day. it is actually only 20% of your excersize and 80% of what you eat that will help you to gain, loose, or maintain your weight.
so concentrate on portions, and calories.
hey, thats what weight watchers and those other programs do, if you think about it.

i lost 1kg i think. i weighed myself this morning as you do, and i think that i might have put it on over the day i am afraid to check incase im right
i put on this 6lbs the only good thing about it is that i dont feel the cold anymore and im not out of energy… but … i miss being thinner.

my mom says that im a naturally bigger person. i hate it. i dont care that i was chunky. i dont want to be chunky. i dont care that i was chunky i dont wanna be even though she dictated it. i dont care i really want to be thin thin fuck