Complete "The Artist's Way"

LOL. I had to laugh when I saw that I checked in for Week 10 on March 21st. That was nearly seven months ago, and I haven’t even been letting this sit on the proverbial back burner. It’s just that I’ve had so many other things going on that I only get to it once in a while. That in itself is an exercise in Autonomy (Independence) – studying at my own pace.

MORNING PAGES: I first started doing them 2 years before I started Week 11 for this second go-round. I’m still at it. I don’t feel the need to rid myself of extra words EVERY single morning anymore, but I have filled 364 sheets of notebook paper over the past 210 days, and that averages out to 1.7 pages per day, so I’m keeping up. In fact, when we went to Europe this summer, I didn’t write a single “morning page” (my ramblings and affirmation, etc), but I did fill an entire journal with our travelogues and my impressions of Nice, Florence, Rome, Venice, Lake Maggiore, Lucerne, Paris, Calais, Dover, London, and everywhere in between. Then when my mom and I went to Maine, I kept another journal of that trip, and she thought it was cool, so I bought her a journal, too. She started Artist’s Way many years ago, probably when it first came out, so she knows about morning pages and did them for a while. She told me keeping her journal reminded her of that.

EXERCISES: By the time I was done, my Chapter 11 re-write was sectioned off into seven exercises, most of which are outlined in the book. My rendition of Week 11 is 22 pages long, while the original is only 13. This is significant to me because I already did this once and, really, completing it again is simply accomplishing Task 10 of Week 12. The first time I went through the book, my writing was in a little journal, 56 pages total. I am studying myself much more carefully this time.

This time through Week 11, I concentrated on one particular area of difficulty in my life that needs better Autonomy (self-government). My favorite reminder was no matter what my goal is, I should go at it like a beginner. ;)

TASKS: OK, 1, 2, and 3 were stupid drivel and a waste of time. Julia Cameron asking people to worship her instead of finding their own things to stand for. Whatever. I changed them around to suit my needs. Task 4 was enlightening. I liked the part on page 85 where she says that writing morning pages symbolizes a willingness to communicate with God. That’s what my affirmation does for me. Well, that’s what prayer and daily scripture study do for me, but my affirmation acknowledges His Hand in my Life and I write it IN my morning pages every day. I dutifully wrote out Tasks 5, 6, and 7, and did find a good insight. I’ve changed my daily routine to include working on my 43T goals, so a year from now, my Life List should look a LOT different. That will be interesting. The letter for Task 8 turned into a package full of goodies that will help me achieve my various art goals, but I didn’t mail it. No sense in wasting the money. I was outraged at Task 9. Julia Cameron is cracked. “Re-examine your God concept” ?! God is not a “concept” that can be rearranged to suit a mood. I know Him. He gave each one of us Life and all things exist to remind us that He loves us. Just look around. God does help those who help themselves—like this: Here’s all the Joy in the Universe. Help Yourself! I’ll make more. Too many people leave the blessings sitting on the table. Task 10 allowed me to ponder on some of mine.

ARTIST’S DATE: Oh, my goodness. What have I done since last March that wasn’t an Artist Date?! I made several gorgeous flower arrangements for a church conference in April and got tons of compliments, even from people I didn’t know. I had wedding flowers, sewing projects and my Spring piano recital in May. We went to Europe in June, primarily Italy, and if going to the place where Art was invented and learning about the old Masters isn’t an Artist Date, I don’t know what is! A camping trip in July was very nurturing. The trip to Maine in August was for a painting class, so that was an Artist Date anyway. Plus, my mom and I had a blast exploring Maine and New Hampshire together. I made a wedding cake in September, which used my artistic skill as well as my very last ounce of patience. And just last weekend, I finished editing my daughter’s book. My life has been full and full of nice things and that’s why it took seven months to do one “week” worth of activities in The Artist’s Way. :D

ISSUES: Heh, heh. Well, I know I do NOT want to go into the wedding cake business.

SYNCHRONICITY: Everything! Everything works together to bring me the things I want and need. I get what I focus on, which is the FACT that Life is BIG and wonderful and trials are there for me to prove that I am strong, and blessings are there to remind me that trials pass anyway. Oh, and this quote: Time flies whether you’re having fun or not.

I read Chapters 9-12 and now I’ll finish the tasks! The end is in sight and it feels great to have learned so much.

Got stuck in chapter 8. Had some life issues to work through apparently. Just got back from my Artists Date. Wrote many days this week. Had some syncronicity that should get an award. Putting the best of the artist date events into my gratitude list and off to read.

First of all, I think taking my time and not letting anyone else’s idea of what I should do and when I should do it is an important step in self-protection. Of course, I have to be at school at designated times, but that still, is a choice.

I checked in on Chaper Nine four MONTHS ago. In that time, the Artist’s Way book and my journal haven’t been sitting around forgotten at all. I was working on it between Thanksgiving and the trip to Cancun and making Christmas cards and enjoying the holidays with all my girls home from colleges, and the long-term sub stint throughout February. I was lucky to squeeze in the dozen or so days I did!

MORNING PAGES: Let’s see. I do them MOST mornings. I’ve cut down to about 2 pages per day, but it’s both sides of a full-size sheet of notebook paper, which is much more writing than 3 pages in a 5×8 journal. Just for the record, I’ve only written 26 days since November 21, 2008, but I’ve filled 73 sheets of notebook paper. A lot of days, I would write 5-8 pages, and then sometimes just 2.

EXERCISES: There were 10 exercises in chapter 10, or at least that’s how I broke it down for myself. I realized that I never have bothered to protect myself effectively from people who want to hurt me. I still don’t, but now I don’t have as much of a need to. I don’t take anything personally anymore. I know I don’t own anyone else’s problems, so when they lash out at me, or try to use me, or attempt to guilt me into something, I can look at their actions objectively and calmly and either support them in their stress or tell them where they can stick their evil intentions.

There is an entire section about workaholism. I’ve never had it, so the quiz was just a long way around to tell me to stop putting off fun until the house is clean.

Drought. A whole section on drought. A few of the insights JC shares on drought are interesting, but I doubt she has ever lived through a real, real one. Like having no water for 14 years. That’s what Arizona has been like. We haven’t had any substantial rainfall since 1995. This year it feels different. Maybe because we redid our yard and I now live in an oasis of peacefulness, but I think our drought may really be coming to an end. There is a lot to learn from having to live without water. Ms. Cameron says personal “drought” is fighting with God. Not so with REAL drought. WE pray, even if it is just for rain, but it’s usually not. We have come closer to God through this drought. Drought makes a person stronger if they have the wherewithal to withstand it.

Fame: Near the bottom of page 171, she says, “The point of the work is the work.” How true. If you don’t like doing something, find something else to do or someone else to do it. To me, Fame is an exercise in futility. Being known for greatness is not a bad thing, but depending on being known is. There are an awful lot of people out there who can’t be happy for the success of others. Everything is a competition. If one person gets a compliment, they think, “What about ME?”
How can I help others to see that one person’s success takes nothing from them. There’s a few of these people around me. I can feel myself being separate from this trap and I am glad. :)

Interesting: the first time through the book, I just read the chapter and didn’t even take notes on the Drought or Fame parts. Now my discoveries take up 4½ pages!

Another great quote in the Competition section: “All work is influenced by other work.” page 174. Great perspective!

TASKS: The Deadlies was stupid. 5 pages of dumbness. I wrote that much on it, so there are probably some insights in there, but the whole pulling paper gimmick was lame.

On the other hand, I LOVED THE TOUCHSTONE EXERCISE!!! I wrote three whole pages and loved every minute of it. =D

Task 3 was useful. Task 4 was rather pointless, considering there was no follow-through activity assigned to any of the so-called “bottom lines.” Task 5 was full of nice reminders.

ARTIST’S DATE: Hmmm. Over the past four months, I’ve done tons of stuff by myself, any of which could be considered an artist date, but I think, really, what I’ve done that promotes self-preservation the best is simply sitting in my big comfy chair on my front patio first thing in the morning, reading my scriptures, writing my morning pages, listening to the mocking birds, doves, sparrows and finches, and watching my hilarious little hummingbirds flitting around and clicking at me. My Dearest gave me the best Artist Date ever by tearing out the old overgrown garden, building that courtyard and landscaping the front yard.

ISSUES: Overall, I think my need for self-protection leans toward NOT being taken advantage of and NOT being sucked into the emotional game-playing of people who might enjoy hurting me. There are a few of those folks scattered around my life. My focus is to be an objective observer to their words and actions. Then even if their intentions are to cause me pain, I can watch and listen without internalizing any of their crap.

SYNCHRONICITY: I have been writing “invitations” for things or experiences that I want in my life experience. MANY of these have come to fruition! Just a few that have “synchronized” in the past few months are: a trip to Cancun with the invited Travel Vouchers; a new, beautiful courtyard and a fun, welcoming home; new kitchen counters, sink and faucet; new wood flooring; new behaviors from my Dearest that have brought us closer (such as reading together at night and going on walks, plus a lot more good stuff); a support system in my efforts to get back into size 10 jeans; and last, but certainly not least, PINK PENS! I love pink ink and have been searching diligently for pink pens. The other night, I found something on Amazon that had free shipping, but I needed to buy another $6 worth of stuff. I found some pink pens for $7.99/doz and they came yesterday and I am very happy about it! =D

I really get a chance to do this only on the bus. It works. I’m back to putting my life back together. Always have to redefine what I want.

I have been fixated on chapter 8 for months. I read it again tonight and still wanted to do the exercises yet again. I’m moving on. Fell asleep reading chapter 9.

Finally! I finished up Chapter Nine on the 12th and haven’t been able to take time to check in. I don’t really have time now, either, but I’m not going on to Chapter 10 until this is done, so here I am. I like to keep track of how long it actually takes me to do each chapter thoroughly. Even though it’s been two months since I logged in for Chapter 8, I think it really only took me about 30 days to DO Chapter 9.

MORNING PAGES: I have written out 50 pages of notebook paper since September 19th. Dividing that by 3 pages per day comes to about 18 days. 18ish/30ish

EXERCISES: Well, the book’s chapter is only 10½ pages and my rendition of it is 24 pages because I made every section into an exercise. I picked 4 or 5 areas of my life that need Compassionate Understanding, from me as well as those around me, and wrote about each one in relation to the themes of Fear, Enthusiasm, and Creative U-Turns. Then I did the Block Blaster exercise for each of my chosen topics.

I had some good breakthroughs, but nothing earth-shattering. Usually, something from each week will stick with me, but this time, not so much. Maybe it’s because I had too much other stuff going on. Then again, maybe it’s because I have too much going on right now and don’t really have time to ponder properly. Meh. Whatever. It’s all written down. I can go back over it later.

TASKS: Task 1, Part 1 was to re-read my MP. I do that every so often anyway, so no biggie. It is a good way to remember when certain things were happening, though.

Part 2 was probably the most helpful thing in the entire chapter. Take Stock. I was able to reconcile myself to the love of my father. I never believed in it before. He ditched us when I was five. Some time before that, I had drawn him a picture of the two of us holding hands and smiling (stick figures, I’m sure, considering my age at the time), but he kept that little piece of paper in his wallet for the rest of his life. He did love me. Too bad I didn’t figure that out until 27 years after his death. I wonder what happened to my little drawing. . .

Also in Task 1, Part 2, I was able to release my mother’s other daughter from ever being a good sister. She really is a 39-yr-old selfish, immature brat. We didn’t grow up together, so I know it doesn’t have anything to do with me. It is purely from her need for attention and the fact that she doubts love. I can look at her now and see the sometimes mean, sometimes thoughtless or even destructive things she does and not feel threatened or angry. I am free.

A really good piece of Synchronicity occured to me while thinking about Part 3 of Task 1. Take Heart. When I want to accomplish something, I am in the habit of praying about it. If it hasn’t happened, I’ve gotten discouraged, but the other day, I figured out that I probably wasn’t doing my part fully.

I needed my pink flip flop. Simple enough thing, but the silly shoe had been lost for about a month. I really wanted to wear all pink and white that day and so I prayed for some help. Then I veritably tore the house apart looking for the pink flip flop. I found my green pumps under my bed, and my black flip flops behind a picture that hadn’t gotten hung up yet, and my navy blue flip flops under the science project boards. I was delighted for the gift of ALL my lost shoes, but still no luck on the pink flip flop. I said (out loud), “OK, I know you know where it is. I’ve done my part. Where is my shoe?”

Finally, I heard that little voice tell me to look behind the couch. My juggling ball was back there. A couple of socks and a book, too, but no pink flip flop. Then I turned my head and saw my pink flip flop under my husband’s chair. The reason I could never find it in a month is that the only place it was visible was from the back of the couch, a position I never would have gotten into under normal circumstances. NEVERMIND that I don’t put my shoes away! I’m learning this lesson the hard way. Give me a break.

Anyway, that was freakin awesome and I learned that whatever it is, I have to do MY part. Prayer is a two-way street.

Task 2, the Visualization activity, was pretty fun. I came up with a nice little motto, which I actually forgot about until reading it again just now. I guess I should post it somewhere.

Task 3, Priorities, was kind of hilarious. It tells me to write out some of my Creative Goals. Well, surprise, surprise. That’s what 43T is for. Except that every time I put up a creative goal, just to remind myself that I’ve invited that activity into my life, someone else joins my goal. It’s like I can’t have anything of my own. Ever. But alas, such is life.

Task 4 was about Creative U-Turns. I found 5 areas of my life, some not exactly “creative,” and made some decisions about how to improve them. It was good.

ARTIST’S DATE: I actually had two highly Compassionate Artist Dates, both during the month of November. The first was painting a very large backdrop for a friend’s church activity. She was having a program in her back yard for the teenage girls and their parents and wanted her shed transformed into a giant mural of Jerusalem. It was SO cool. [I’ll post a picture somewhere, but not here. Maybe under the “New and Fulfilling” goal.] Anyway, I got to spend about 7 hours all by myself, painting and enjoying my own talent.

The second one was for a conference at church that involved about 5000 people. I volunteered to do the flowers and they turned out great! I spent two and a half hours in the kitchen at the church, building two huge arrangements that would sit on either side of the pulpit. Waves of excitement kept surging through me as I watched my hands work and knew that my expert eye was a gift from my grandmother.

SYNCHRONICITY: The fact that those two Artist Dates came up right while I was on Chapter Nine was awesome.

There would have been another gymungo act of service, in which I would have been building sets and painting scenery, but the director of the play got hurt and her assistant bailed on her, so she cancelled the play. I was reluctantly relieved. That was good synchronicity, since my house has been full of visitors all month and I really needed that time to clean.

Also, Arizona has been having Autumn this year. I’ve been rejoicing in it and my Dearest remarked that it was because I invited it with my beautiful flower arrangements all in Autumn colors. Awww! ♥♥♥

I also invited Hummingbirds and Butterflies into my yard. I think there has only been one day in over a month that I haven’t seen a butterfly. The day after I wrote this invitation down in my Morning Pages, a hummingbird flew right up to my face and scared the crap out of me! But she and her mate have been out there, clicking and humming at me ever since. :) It’s NOVEMBER and I have Hummingbirds! Yay!!!

. . . SOOOOO did not count as part of this goal, although I did manage to at least read and re-write the chapter during the slow times at the Corn Maze.

Be back soon to report. I just have my Tasks and Artist Date. Hmmm. What goes with Compassion? Hey! I actually already have something!

Day one of Morning Pages. :-D

So what happened today with the symphony was pretty revealing. I got to sit between and 8 year old being given an opportunity that I would have loved at his age, that he didn’t. And on the other side, a woman my age that had to recover from parents that gave her everything. Maybe not having stuff makes it so much more of a treasure when you finally get it.