tell my best friend i love him

I love him, so much. I can’t even believe how much he has become to me. He has a girlfriend, but he loves me to. She’s holding him back, I know it. I just want to tell him already. He means soooo much to me. I love the way he looks at me, the way he hugs me tight and never wants to let go, the way he chases me down the school halls until he catches me, and the way he tells me he loves me. But, as a friend. I can’t much more of this anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzrMQEtCgro 18 months ago

He’s been one of my BEST guy friends since Kindergarten. I started having feelings for him last year and they’ve gotten stronger ever since…
One of my most trusted friends told me that he said he ‘really liked me, but didn’t know how to say it’. She wouldn’t lie about something like that.
Okay, so. This guy is the odd one out among all the eighth grade boys I’ve met and/or already know. He’s intelligent in every sense of the word. He always takes the unexpected view on things. He RESPECTS people. He’s basically immunse to bullying—he doesn’t care if people call him gay when he sits at a table full of girls.
Plus he has a really great sense of humor and is really nice and is reeeaaallyreally cute…
So.
Back to the story.
When the school year started me and him hung out more often. We went biking around our neighborhoods with two other friends in the afternoons and during lunch at school he prefers sitting with me and my girlfriends (I MEAN FEMALE FRIENDS.) rather than his buddies. Once, earlier in the year, he even said after leaving the table to go sit with them then coming back, “Nah, I’ll stay. I miss some of you.”
So, basically, he’s perfect. In my eyes at least. Plus he’s a really great friend and knows how to lighten up a tense situation and always tries cheering people up when they seem sad or mad or something.
And that’s what I don’t want to destroy. If I tell him I like him and he doesn’t have mutual feelings, there won’t only be the humiliation of being (good Lord, I’m going to sound like such a girly girl) rejected, but there’ll also be the ensuing awkwardness and evasion of each other.
But I’m afraid that if I wait too long to tell him, he might think (if he really does like me) that I don’t like him back and move on to someone else…
So I’m really stuck.
I mean, if he DOES like me, that’d be great! But as I am inexpirienced in the field of relationships, I wouldn’t know how to go about it. But, y’know, since we’re already best friends ,things will ‘prolly work themselves out…XD
But anyways. I’ve been considering all the pros and cons of admitting my love for him (d’aw, look at me, sounding all dramatic) for a LLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGGG time and I’ve concluded that if—no, WHEN I tell him, it CANNOT be in person. As much as I’d like to make it as sincere as possible, I simply will NOT be able to tell him face-to-face. I’m to nervous by nature. And I don’t think I’d be able to take the mortification. I mean, he’s like a brother to me, so being rejected by someone that close with completely shatter me, especially if said to my face.
If it comes to telling him in person, I would tell him on a Friday or the day before a school break, to give some time for the awkwardness to wear off and for him to think.
But I think that sounds sort of selfish, don’t you agree? :(
So I made a decision that when I get around to telling him it’ll be by email. (I’m not even going to consider talking via phone. It’s just…no.)
I know it sounds like I’ve already made my choice and shouldn’t be posting anything here in the first place, but I’m still unsure about telling him in the first place.

Thanks for being a great listener <33 2 years ago

I want to tell my best (and only) friend that I am truely in love with him. We went out before and my mom made me brake up with him because it was over summer he was grounded and he lost his phone for 2 weeks my mom force me to brake up with him (first boyfriend) over the phone (make things worse) so did my mom :*( but before i left i told him over the phone i love him, then i HAD go out with a guy out of state for a arranged marriage things didnt work out, thank gosh. I than I asked him to go out with me over fb and told him just about everything messed up about me. But he said would be better if we were just friends he thinks. He really knows everything about me….. and we get along great, I love seing him because he always makes me happy. So i tried going out with a different guy to see if i can forget or replace i guess you can say but I just couldn’t! But sadly I didn’t know that was one of his friends. I am single and would stay that way forever, if I can’t be happy with anyone else, because there is no one like him, should I try hanging out and getting closer to him again? Or should I just tell him sonner the better or what? (P.S. If you read this much and have advice thank you very much…) 2 years ago

I have known him for 3 years now. We instantly hit if off, and that was nice because i was new to town. We met at church. He is 3 years older than me. i am now 15 and he is 18. (i will be 16 in 2 moths. so he is pretty much 2.5 years older.) anyways…. i was introduced to a girl that went to that church and we were best friends. and the very first time i saw him he came over and said hi, shook my hand, and said he was glad i was there. about 2 months later i ended up with his phone number. (we did not go to the same school) We talk daily. if not daily, very close. we have talked about everything there is. he trusts me majorly, and as do i him. he talks to me about everything. i mean EVERYTHING!! but about a year ago he got a girlfriend. shes very pretty. a cheerleader. went to his school. shes “perfect”. but she is very goody-goody. she doesn’t cuss (he does) drugs are bad to her (he dips and she doesn’t know). i could go on and on. i recently asked him about how he felt about her and he told me he guessed he would have to deal with it. they annoy each other and stress each other out a ton. but he said he wasn’t gonna go through a years worth of all that trouble again to get to know a girl. well to comfort him i said that all relationships have their ups and downs, and everyone fights. and he said except me and you. we get along great. we never fight. you know more about me that my girlfriend. i love talking to you. you are always there for me and i just like being around you! and i had no clue what to say!! so i just said i feel the same way. well we have talked a lot since then (this was just about a week ago) and the subject hasn’t come up again. well i have been very emotionally stressed. i cry myself to sleep about every night. i love him so much. but i cant just be like I LOVE YOU!! LEAVE HER AND MARRY ME!!!!! ya know? so im kind of stuck in a situation. and to top it off, he just left for college. out of town (5 hours away!!!) and i am about to move out of state. so he has 4 years of college left and i have 3.5 years of high school left. so 4 years before we could really see each other again. besides those very few times we might actually be in the same town as each other visiting family. i dont think we will lose contact with each other, i just dont know how to tell him i love him. because i really do. i have always had crushes on people, but i have never felt this way about someone.
but my problem is that i am overweight. majorly. his gf is extremely pretty and thin. so i have no chance of even competing with her. so i feel that sets me back a little. like he would never want me b/c im fat.
(his gf stayed in town for college)
so im just wondering what you think i should do? 2 years ago

my best friend of six years joined the army quite a while ago and before he left we got rather close. We slept together and he said he had wanted to get as intimate as possible with me for a long time i said me too. The next few times we sarted talking bout the future as he was very soon to be leaving as duty called and we discussed waiting for eachother and even the possability of me moving with him or at least near him. Hes been gone about six months now and will be arriving in his home town in a few days to get some things before hes off to afgahnistan but sine hes been gone we havent talke that much i mean e-mailed i know hes obiously not always able to reply but when he does he always just talks bout me and wont say how he is and i put kisses at the end of my e-mails but i never get anything of the sort back. I understand the change his is going through how hard it must be but im worried that maybe he doesnt want to be more than friends now? when he comes home i want to talk to him about it but I also dont want to put any added pressure on hid life. I just dont know? 2 years ago

I have known my best friend since we were both born. We grew up playing hockey together and I think that made us feel more like brother and sister rather than what I feel we could be now. I started to have special feelings for him about 2 years ago, and since then haven’t gone a single day without contemplating whether to tell him how I feel or not. I don’t want to ruin our friendship if I tell him, but I don’t know how much longer I can go through the hurt I feel almost everyday. I really love him and want him to know how I feel but right now he is happy with another girl and I don’t want to mess that up for him. I really just want him to be happy..even if it means I have to hurt a little longer I guess. I just don’t know what to do, or how to do it. 2 years ago

Many people say it only toke us a few days, but it was more like a few years… I fell in love with my best friend. We were practically inseparable. We would go to stupid places like the aquarium at 9pm just because we were bored and wanted to hang out. In our second year of “just friends” i told a lot of my friends that i thought i loved him. Unfortunately, i told one to many girls. One of my friends liked him too and convinced him that i didn’t love him. So he decided to ask her out and now they’ve been dating for a few months. From my birthday to be exact. After about three days of them dating i told him I loved him more than a friend, more than a brother. He said he didn’t believe me, that his girl friend said i was lying… So i proved it. One night, he met me at the aquarium again, just the two of us. I kissed him and there were definitely sparks because when i tried to leave, he stopped me and kissed me again.

Even though it may sound like a fantasy, it’s more like a nightmare. I told him too late how i felt. He is still with that same girl and he says he cant hurt her by leaving her for me. He says that if only he knew sooner.

So girls please, don’t wait till the very last moment to tell the man of your dreams you love him… cause if you do, it might just get “complicated”. 2 years ago

i realized i felt something more than “friend” with my best friend when he told me details about his relationship with his at-the-time girlfriend, and it bothered me. i felt like i didn’t want to talk about it and it made me mad to think about it. i knew then that i loved him. he’s graduating high school in 2 months, and i’m so scared i won’t see him again. we hang out outside of school but not much, but we talk all the time. i think i’m ready to tell him how i feel, because i don’t want to be thinking in year about what could have happened if i said something. i just really don’t know how to go about telling him, and i’m scared. 3 years ago

I’ve been hanging out with him every weekend and sometimes during the school week since November, and we are REALLY close and tell each other everything. Lately, he’s been flirtatious telling me that it makes his day seeing me and stupid things like that. The thing is, we’ve known each other for a few years already, and last winter I told him I liked him, but he had a girlfriend and said that if he wasn’t dating her, he’d ask me out. But they eventually broke up, and we got into a lot of stupid arguments about that and we weren’t as close anymore. There were times over the summer I could’ve had him, but I didn’t take my chances.

Now, I know that I undoubtedly love him. And I know I’m stuck on telling him because last night I told him we needed to talk about some stuff, and I wasn’t going to tell him that I love him par-say, but just the gist of things.
Is it worth it to tell him & risk what we have to maybe make it into something more, or to even possibly throw what we have away? 3 years ago

I wanted to cuddle again last night, but was again told no. the first time he said that, I was highly upset and cried, but that was because of some earlier incident and he was pissed off at me. The second time, I was upset again, he said that he wasn’t into that, that he didn’t have the need for human contact like me. I asked that if he could hug and cuddle his girlfriends, why not your best friend? What’s the difference? Of course, he didn’t answer, what a prick. Then he was like, I don’t know how I feel, it’s complicated, blah blah. I stormed for about 10 minutes, then stewed in bed for another 10 until I got out of bed and asked him,’how do you feel about me?’ he couldn’t give me a straight answer! He answered with a question, ‘What do you want me to say?’

I hate that crap! Either you have feelings for me or not. Don’t jerk me around. I told him that it’s not fair that I can’t touch him, that I can’t show any affection for my best friend. I loved him so much, I hurt. then I asked him again, ‘how do you feel about me?’ Again, I got, ‘what do you want me to say?’ I was so angry I couldn’t speak. What I wanted to yell was BE HONEST WITH ME!! I just went back to bed and stared at the ceiling until morning, I was so angry that my adrenalin was running. I didn’t sleep at all. I still haven’t slept now because when I’m pissed, my body reacts. It takes a day or two for me to calm down, unless I run.

I texted him saying that I was done with his crap, that I’ll find a new best friend that will accept me totally, that won’t shy away from affection. Yet we can fool around—he was just using me. Of course, that scared him and he’s all apologetic. He assured me I wasn’t being used (yeah right) and he asked, ‘What do you want from me?’ I told him, ‘Your love’. He said, ‘You already got it’ I was dumbfounded, cos I surely didn’t feel like I had his love at all.

Reading about the ‘5 languages of love’ (google that), his way to express it is quality time (he’ll make noise to get me out of bed to hang out with him—yet he’s a night owl, i’m one too but forcing myself to be an early bird so that’s NOT FUN getting out of bed at 1am to play with him and his drunken cohorts) and thru acts of service (he’ll clean house to make me happy). I’m physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. I love hugging, kisses, giving cards but i’m paired with someone who doesn’t like to hug, doesn’t like to give gifts (but doesn’t mind receiving them) and will compliment—sometimes for something the next day! I would like to hear how nice my dress was the night I wore it, not two days later!!

After texting back and forth, he realizes how I feel. Now to deal with him face to face, that’s another matter. Dunno if he feels for me is real or just acting the part to keep from losing me—after all, “it’s complicated.” 3 years ago