write it down!

I
still catch
myself lost
in reverie,
staring down the drive.
In my mind I see your
car there, like you just arrived
home after a long day. Trying
to forget you is like trying to
remember someone I have never met. 3 months ago

Gah, so summer’s almost over. Which means… I have no idea. Just that I might work a little less. My life right now is basically wake up, work, go to bed.

I’ve been reading a lot. But I need to get my apartment all fixed, right now it looks pretty nice but it still has a lot of “just moved in” clues lying around.

Been to the doctor and took some blood samples. Havent been feeling very well. Hopefully it’s something so I can get treatment. Hopefully it’s nothing too serious. 9 months ago

My last day at work before some days off. Next workday will be monday. I can sleeeeeeep for a while.

So today was a busy day, but at the same time a fun day. Loads of nice costumers and loads of books.

One girl asks me to wrap up a book for her. It’s a biography about the band Metallica. Right after that my colleuge opens up a poster of a logo from another band. He’s like “how’s this logo from???” and I totally freeze. I know what that is! of course I knew, but all I could think was metallica. He’s like “Maybe it’s before your time but it’s the Rolling Stones”

That did not just happen.

Even worse. Right after, a girl comes and asks him if we have a book about the Kardashians. He has no idea what that is. I do and I get to help her. First I dont know who the rolling stones are and then I do know who the Kardashians are. In my defense, it’s only because my friends ALWAYS had the TV on in New York when I was there.

Well, everyone needs days when the brain is not working as it should ;) 10 months ago

So I went home to my mom’s because I had to babysit my siblings and later on eat dinner there.

I was the first one there (they had been away over the weekend) so I was just gonna relax and read while waiting on them.

Suddenly I hear something. Sort of sounded like a bird. It was very loud. I went to the livingroom which is now basically just a room with toys. Nothing.

Went back to the kitchen again and then I hear it again. It is a bird, I’m sure of it. Must be right outside the window cos it’s sooo loud!

Once again I walk into the livingroom and the sound stops. But I move closer into the room because I’m sure I hear it coming from there. And there it was!

A tiny little bird sits on my baby brother’s toy car! I have no idea how long it had been in there, I just knew I needed to help that poor sweetie to get out again. Took a little while since I had to make it trust me and fly towards the open window(s). Once it found its way and was going to fly out – it stoped for a sec. Just standing there. Looking at me. Breathing heavily (probably stressed out. Poor thing). We looked at each other for like a minute. Then the bird flew.

I think I just had a moment with a bird. 11 months ago

My life in the US will always mean the world to me. The friends I made there… The professors I had… Everything I went through… I cannot believe it’s been over a year since I went home already.

That place is so speacial to me that the law of “time flies” does not apply. I enjoy every moment so much I don’t notice whether the time goes fast or slow. I noticed that back in october when I went back to New York to visit all my friends and my old university. One week is nothing people said. It was plenty to me. Could have stayed two weeks, or a month, or a year, but at the same time I got to do everything I ever wanted in just that one week.

It’s (almost) time again this summer. France. One of my best american friends, Alizé, will go there this summer to celebrate her sister’s sweet 16. I am invited. I love her, I love her sister, I love her family and I will probably love everyone else who’s gonna be there with us. With a french mother, she knows the language and it’s a clear reason why they gonna celebrate her sister’s birthday in France.

Now, last time I was visiting them in New York I had gained a few pounds. I’m dealing with compulsive eating and a huge chocolate addiction. My friend Abby’s aunt even said “You’ve gained weight… that’s good”.

Anyway, this might seem silly but I want Alizé and family to see me the way I was back in the states (the first time, which was healthy as hell). So since the 13th of June, no chocolate has been in my body, and it wont be until I have left for france.

HAAARD. But motivation is a great helper.

Yeah so, it’s been my third day without chocolate. I feel more energenic already. And a little happier. 11 months ago

I don’t know what happened. Suddenly on my way home from my mom I was like “Gosh, I really do miss 43things”. Here I am. A new and improved Emilie. Really new and improved.

It’s been a year since I got home from USA where I studied at Long Island Univerity.

It’s been almost a year since I got my driver’s lisence.
And it’s been almost a year since I got my boyfriend.
And started working at a bookstore.

Finished my first year studying Global Development home in Sweden.

Just moved with my sister to our own apartment, which btw is amazing.

For the first time in long I feel happy. And it’s not because of all these things. I have worked so hard to lose my depression (still not there yet) and do things that make me happy. All other things are more like a bonus.

Plus I have gained a lot of wait from compulsive eating and massive chocolate addiction. Need to do something about that.

I miss writing. I really do. But hey, it’s summer – if I dont have energy now then when will I have? 11 months ago

thanks to my boyfriend’s mom. It helps. 3 years ago

and think I’m about as good as I’m going to get. I’m calling this one done. 5 years ago

yesterday I learned the hard way about not doing this goal. I am out-of-town this weekend, and I just didn’t have the time to do the normal packing list I’d do. Well I left two things last night that I discovered when I got in. One thing I can borrow from my mother…the other thing sent me off to Wal-Mart at 12:15 a.m.! (Not what I’d planned on doing after having been up for so long.) 5 years ago

• Cleaning
  
  • Dishes
  • Garbage taken out
  • Change sheets
• Pay bills
  • Student Loan Company 1
  • Student Loan Company 2
  • Cable
• Make a packing list
• Clear out car
• Get mail held by post office.
• Pack
• Load car
• Find printouts about travel information or get information printed out again.5 years ago