Quit complaining

Today I am not interested in achieving this goal. I am angry, irrational and a million other things I cannot put into words.
Death.
It comes to us all that’s for certain but really, I mean right now I feel like this is a really bad joke and nobody including me is not laughing. I have lost 5 relatives this year, two sudden, 3 sick, then I lost 2 friends, both sudden, they just drop dead and then mister man lost his nan and yesterday my friend lost her mother. Now what is that all about. I’m just sick of spending my time going to wakes, funerals and supporting friends and relatives through this, i am exhausted from it all, I didn’t even feel a thing when i got the call, nothing, as I think i am numb to it all and now today I feel a rage at the ugliness of it all and right now nothing seems right and so today all i have done is stomp around and rage at the unfairness of it all. I know when I calm down logic will rule but for now, for now I am just sad for all of them, upset for all of them and myself.

Still swapping the band but not as much. Getting better at this but I believe this is due to the goal of working at being happy, find that things that used to grate don’t so much as I just smile and tell myself to let it go….just need to get that 21 day locked down and this will be a i’ve done this goal, so far I can only managed 17 days without complaining before I falter but I will get there.

The line from this song, is one I have put up on the notice board and on my wrist band so I don’t forget:

“What good is time if you take up/
everyday to complain.”

i am finding this impossibly difficult to do. has anyone else actually accomplished this? or is this like just one of those if you can do it on any given day you’ve succeeded type thing?

Okay, still whinging every once in a while but on the whole i am why better at this than i used to be; I have managed 16 days without complaining once, not even in my head. This one will be achieved soon.

there is a good kind of complaining…and that a part of my problems in communicating with those close to me come from me making such and effort to not complain…that I sometimes hold in stuff that I should let out instead.

i received my quit complaining bracelets in the mail the other day (as seen on Oprah). my 11 year old niece and i decided to try it and we have to switch the bracelet from one wrist to the other every time we complain, gossip or criticize. the goal is to go 21 days without doing those three things. needless to say, i feel this goal will be virtually impossible for me to achieve, but i’ll keep trying…

Ohhh, I am so mad at myself for letting the creep get under my skin. I was getting pretty good at this, the odd moan but pretty much getting to the point where most of the time I would either think PINK or smile sweetly and slowly count to 10; but last night was the last straw: new neighbour, young, male, totally selfish and inconsiderate, who thinks that is it perfectly fine to come home at 3am and blast the neighbourhood with music, may I add he feels he has to share by opening the window and putting the speaker boxes outside.

Being jarred out of sleep is no fun and so I think months of total frustration at his behaviour just popped and I ranted at him, then complained to the other neighbours, woke up in a foul mood with a splitting headache and I am so mad at myself as I can’t see to shake the funk…

see still complaining :-(

Failed today! The neighbours upset me greatly with their constant desire to use my garden as their personal landfill. I needed to be rational and calm but instead complained to anyone who would listen and then ranted when they weren’t home and I couldn’t explode.

What made me feel so bad about all this complaining was within hours of failing at this my cousin came round to tell me she has cancer. After that, what the hell was I complaining about…

Mainly because I probably can’t even go an hour with complaining about something. What if I just complain in my head and not out loud? There are just so many annoying people in this world that I find it would be almost impossible for me to not complain about them and the things they do.