accept the things I cannot change, have courage to change the things I can and have the wisdom to know the difference

I love animals and I love nature. I abhor consumerism and am very much aware of what our nowadays luxuries cost in terms of damages to the wildlife and to the environment.

The thought that sweet-eyed pigs, innocent lambs, lively chickens, peaceful cows get mercylessly slaughtered and live a life of hell…well, it just makes me sick (see videos on www.peta.org).
Losing weight is no.1 goal on 43thing.com: we are so blind that we keep eating and eating forgetful of the grotesque slaughtering we cause.

Besides, leather: shoes, furniture, wallets, bags, you name it! Leather comes from living beings that are slaughtered so that we can have soft sofas and jackets. That doesn’t feel right.

But it is not only about sweet pigs and funny chickens, it is about nature and all the animals that are being sterminated because of us, and because of this maniac crazyness to buy, buy, buy. As I see it, mostly we are just producers of trash! That’s the one single activity each of us excels at. As a generation, we should be ashamed of ourselves as far as consideration for suffering and nature is concerned.

My wish is that, in due time, we will grow wise enough to put a stop to this craziness. Being developed should mean to be able to tell the difference between right and wrong. I don’t see a problem in killing an animal for survival, for its meat or for its fur, but I cannot justify systematic massacres of innocent lives just to make unnecessary products most of which end up in a trash. It’s just immoral.

So, I have tried to become a vegetarian, and I have considered not buying anything leather. But, willing or not, I am just one member of a greater society that, atm, does not give a damn about animal rights and the environment. Thank God, there are associations like PETA and GreenPeace, but the individual can do very little, especially in the society where I live.

In practical terms, if I stop eating meat and fish and eggs and stop wearing leather, the only real result would be that I would have found new ways to torment myself and to make me feel guilty and responsible for things that are beyond my control.

If I were rich, if I had power, if I COULD actually make a difference, I’d sacrifice everything to save these poor animals from their living hell. But I CAN’T. So, far, all I manage to do is make myself miserable. The amount of guilt I feel every time I use a plastic bag is really disproportionate to the amount of responsibility that I have.

I know it is wrong to exploit nature in this crazy way.
But I also know that punishing myself will do no good whatsoever.
For this reason, even though it is a heavy burden to bear, I have decided to give up my idea of becoming a vegan and I will continue buying leather stuff, and I will continue to use my car (which pollutes the environment, I know…) and to buy new clothes even if the old ones, which I bought 5 or 10 years ago are not totally worn out yet.
I will also keep doing the washing up even if I am fully aware that dish soap is highly polluting to the environment, and I will continue to wash myself trying to focus on the pleasure it gives me, rather than on how precious water is for life on the planet, and trying not to think that a shower a day is a waste of a lot of water.

I am NOT the Saviour, I CANNOT save the world. But I can save me, and I am failing at it. I am not strong and powerful enough to save the world, but I do have a moral duty to make my life a little bit more enjoyable and simply worth living. My guilt chokes me. GUILT, as if I COULD change the world, but simply wouldn’t.

It is so easy to criticize what I cannot change, point my finger at the world’s injustices, when I am not able to treat myself with the due respect.

Global warming: I cannot change.
Worldwide pain and suffering: I cannot change.
My well-being, my health, my happiness, my dignity: that I can change, I can make a difference and I should. I really should. There is no meaning in living a purposeless life, trapped by fear, guilt, and defeat. My living has a price in terms of ecological footprint: if I lead a passive life, when my life will come to an end, I will only have been one more liability to life on Earth.

If I rescue myself from this blinding guilt, this isolation, this continuous self-sabotaging of my resources, in the end my life will have meant something. I don’t know what, but that’s for me to discover. I’ve gotta be brave. IF I am good, I CAN make a difference: in my life and in the lives around me.

‘This I must prize, for unless I am myself, I am nobody’ (Virginia Woolf) 3 years ago

Sounds so good
Feels so hard 3 years ago

I love you so much, but I know if I continue to live with you we will end up destroying ourselves. I can deal with the name calling, the petty talk, but what I cant deal with is the lack of respect we once had for each other. Even though it has been 30 years that we have been together, I want my remaining years to be spent in peace with myself.
Goodbye. 3 years ago

My marriage is coming to an end. Well, at least it certainly appears to be. I have caused a lot of grief & feelings of disappointment with those that I love, through my inability to focus & realize that I have not been the husband, father & man that God requires me to be. I have allowed my unseen mental struggles with Adult ADHD control my life, eventhough I didn’t know it until about a year ago. I will be 41 on November 18th. Regardless of the circumstances, I clearly was not focusing on my family in a responsible and loving way. I didn’t put together the pieces of the, not too complicated, puzzle quick enough to see the full picture. I have been so heartbroken and sad over what I am facing and losing my wife, and not being home every night to kiss my 4 girls goodnight, or seeing them in the morning to start off their day with a, “Have a great day. I love you!”. As sad as that has made me, and believe me there’s a much bigger feeling of loss, I just don’t have the time or probably space to put it all down at once.

I have been trying so hard to show my wife that we belong together, and that I am making progress, and I realize the pain that I have brought on my family, namely her for the past 13 years that we’ve been married, 16 years that we’ve been together as of yesterday. I know what I must do & I’m a better person for the going through struggles that we have. Her only response is, “Good! Then the next relationship you have will reap the rewards of my suffering.” Wow!!! That’s a hard pill to swallow, and I have refused to take that medicine. However, I am a believer & follower of Jesus Christ, and I know and trust that he wants what’s best for me. I realize that this isn’t it.

I am not a bad person by the standard definition. I have never had a problem with drinking, drugs or women. I am not violent or indifferent. I do all of the grocery shopping and almost all of the cooking. I have never so much as called her a nasty name, let alone been abusive, yet she would tell you that I have abused her far worse than any of these other things that I could have been done, by taking advantage of how much she loved me & not fulfilling the needs of my family, and breaking my promises to get a job & make things better, and by filling her with false hope. I can admit that I HAVE made bad decisions & choices. I take full responsibility for my downfalls & how I have disappointed so many that once believed in me. This is where I can now say that I just didn’t know the difference.

My wife’s view of me can’t be changed. I felt so deeply that she would truly see the man that I am & what I am capable of, now that I have focus, I’m taking medication & seeing a therapist. I have even finished my resume & applied to several jobs. I finally see that none of that matters. She is fully commited to a divorce. I can’t say that I haven’t had the courage to change the things that I can, but up until now I didn’t quite get the other two parts of acceptance and wisdom. I do now. 3 years ago

I’m learning, I think, to start accepting things the way they are. I can only change me, not other people, and sometimes not even situations. I’m striving for the wisdom to know when the situation is something I can change and when it’s something I have no control over what so ever. It’s hard to give up control. Extremely hard. I know the Christians always say “Let go and let God.” I’m not sure I believe in that, per se. But I definitely have to let go. And let life, I guess, just figure itself out.

::Movie to See:: Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 3 years ago

the phrase in the middle: have courage to change the things I can. However, I would cross out courage and replace it with, say, energy/motivation. 3 years ago

It’s so hard to accept the things you can’t change. I hope I will be able to do this one day. Then, I’ll be more peaceful & my anxiety will die down. 3 years ago

have the courage to make the difference. and to make the difference. and the difference. to make. the difference. 4 years ago

This has served more as a reminder but still, I need to work on it. And it serves a great portion of encouragement in hard times like these… Thanks to you who first started this goal on 43T! 4 years ago

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” Anais Nin 4 years ago