Get along better with my sister

well the weekend went better and worse than i had expected at the same time! the race was a lot of fun with ann. however, from a number of complications (lack of food, low blodd sugar, and lack of sleep being the frontrunners) my body did not respond well to the race. i must have been suffering from some sort of heat exhaustion early on even tho the sun wasn’t out but my sister said my face was bright red, and i was dizzy, and my arms and legs were tingling… and altho i could keep moving and didn’t feel too warn down it was more like a general malaise… that was up until the sun came out! the sun made me feel worse, which made me very grouchy and very difficult i imagine for my sister to deal with. she did a great job tho of keeping her temper in check and staying positive with me. thankfully, the sun came out closer to the end of the race, the last 2 or 3 checkpoints and the homestretch. but we finished and we weren’t last, so i guess that’s great! on the car ride home tho, i had to ask her to pull over so that i could throw up… :( but i had a good time and i’d probably do it again. i’d just make sure eat pasta or something the day before and get enough sleep.

This weekend my sister and I are going to be spending an unusual amount of time alone together. Even tho we might be distracted by the race we’re running, it’s still going to be a challenge as we’re too alike and too different in all the wrong places! She’s an athlete, I am not. She’s a competitor, I am not. She likes to stay busy, I like my down time. We’re both too darn stubborn, too opinionated, and too smart for our own good. So this weekend: I resolve to do better at communicating with my sister even if/when she makes my blood boil.

I really need to work on this…....
I love my sister but we don’t get along too well which I hate.

after being away from my sister for over a year, I am back and staying with her while I look for a placeof my own. we’ve been getting along pretty well and I think my willingness to listen has been a big part of that. I think that so often when we harbour anger towards life, the world, unfairness, whatever, we take it out on family because we think we can. Too bad. So rather than judging her I’ve been asking her questions and then quietly asking myself the same questions. We’re going to be living in two different towns, and that’s probabaly good. I’m looking forward to growing a new relationship with her. She is my teacher.

SO, after being so angry at my sister and wanting to write her a big long email to tell her to stop being so judgemental and that she should try to open her mind and all this stuff, I asked myself, ‘And what is this going to accomplish?’ Yeah, I’ll get all that crap off my chest, but she’s a million miles away and this is just going to add fuel to the fire. She’ll get more angry and off we go again. So, rather than sending her an email, I wrote her a long, honest letter on paper. Then I sent her an email thanking her for her honest concern. Voila! All is well. I guess if I want her to accept me and my way of doing things then I have to accept her as well. It was hard, because we’re kind of caught in a way of doing things, but I’m writing all this down here because I want to change that.

I just finished writing a bit about active listening—maybe that’s what I need to do with my sister. Maybe I need to ask her why she thinks and says the things she does…OK I’ll give it a try. (but she makes me so frustrated!!!!)

I really love my sister but all our lives we have fought, usually over the stupidest little things. This morning I called her and told her about a big plan I have—a plan that means a lot to me and that I feel vulnerable about because it’s a big risk. As usual, she spoke down to me, questioned my motives and accused me of running away from my problems. Although I’m still going on with my plan, I feel rather deflated after our conversation. I want to be able to understand her and why she feels the need to speak down to me, like I’m a silly child. I usually respond to this with snarkiness but this time I didn’t respond at all. What’s the point of adding fuel to the fire? But, this is still not the answer because I feel like crap.

not a destination. I don’t have a great relationship still, but things have improved. I guess the key is to realize that how I respond and feel is more controlable and more important than what she does. If I show us both a bit of compassion and lower expectation, we get along better. 43 things says, “congratulations, you’ve just finished…” but relationship improvement does not end. I made some progress.

I made a tiny effort to call more often, and she responded with being a bit more friendly. I wouldn’t call things “great,” but “better” is a tag I can live with. Baby steps – I’m taking this off the “to do” list for now.

I called my sister during the week this week. She was at the mall (of course), but we chatted a short time. I also vowed in my birthday card to her that we would visit in Dec or Jan. I’m trying. I don’t feel like there’s much reciprocation, but hey, I can only change myself.