do something different

I decided to get in touch with an ex to see what had actually happened to our relationship. It ended so quickly I had no time for closure, after a long talk with syndi last night I found that I still need closure for a lot of things.

But speaking with my ex after a year of no contact what so ever feels kind of rocky. I kind of nervous to see where this goes.

I’ve noticed today that I have become much more social when I am out with friends or by myself. That’s a huge change from my former “anti-social” (thought I’m using that in the wrong context) self. It’s nice to see how much I’ve grown.

I remember sometime ago a friend of mine had an incident about her mixed race. A woman had referred to her as a “mutt baby”. I guess people of mixed race are still a new thing for the world, a lot of the time people are referred to as one or the other.

Take our new president for example, he is half black. Everyone has been calling him our “first black president” when in reality he is our first “half breed president” (as i like to say).

So people can throw around terms like “mutt baby” all they want, it doesn’t effect me in the least. I can still look at all my black friends and say “we got there first” feels real good to say that.

So this was different, I was on my way home from a nice ride around the city when I noticed a van in front of me was just sitting there. (Ran out of gas what luck)

I could have gone around like everyone else was doing and not even have a second thought about it. But then something Hippiechick said to me sneaked into the back of my mind. If I get stuck on my bike anywhere a fellow biker will stop to help me, almost no one in a car will help another motorist on the road. And that really got to me; I can get all the help I need on the road but the woman in front of me was doomed to sit in the street like that?

So I pulled into a parking lot and walked back to this van stuck on the side of the road. I’ve never seen anyone look so surprised to be offered help. I helped her push her, very heavy, van into the parking lot. I even helped her with the gas can, apparently neither her nor her teenage daughters knew how to use it, I guess I have Mr. Hippiechick to thank for teaching me those basics.

I guess I never noticed, not a lot of people will stop to help out a complete stranger. (Unless those people happen to be bikers) But all in all it was a nice change of pace for me, and it felt pretty good to help someone out.

I’m so bored with my life right now.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I am going to change something about myself…something different to shake things up a little. I don’t know what but something is but it has got to change before I’m rushed to the hospital for chronic boredom.

I’ve worked with (and on behalf of) people for around 35 years… for the most part, as a Social Worker. I am fortunate enough to now work independently… yet, increasingly, wish I could do something totally different – while I still have the energy and enjoy reasonably good health! Especially if it also led to me being financially independent….

But I no nothing other than Social Work… pah!

Unless my ‘people skills’ could be put to good effect… maybe…

I did the visit to Coventry and had a really great time! I think i had more fun than i thought i would.
I didnt do the party at BCC, i was feeling quite ill but trying to fight it and in the end i decided to stay in – had a good time watching the discovery channel!
Just read a book/article challenging me to accept all invitiations i get this month and just go to whatever! – hmmm… we shall see, at the moment I have no invites so its cool. I know i want to do something different every fortnight but today am feeling very ill still – have a funny flu/cold/throat infection thing which is killing me softly ! alli want to do is stay in my bed but am at work…sigh..

am going to see my cousin in coventry – doesnt sound eciting but for me its a big step, i usually keep to myself so spending time with cousins will be different! am looking forward to it.
I am also going to go to the new year’s eve party at BCC – alone!. i hope i will have a good time!

I have been trying to be a different than I have been lately. I have accomplished that goal.

I think being one-self is being different.For exemple, I really hate the fashion. The principle is that everybody must be like everybody. It’s the herd instinct: when one sheep throw itself over the edge of a cliff, all the sheeps of the herd do the same thimg. So I would like to do something really different, that would follow no rule.