overcome anxiety and depression

I’ve had really bad anxiety since I was a junior in college. It happened after I took a weight loss pill so I wouldn’t be hungry enough to eat cafeteria food! They were packed with caffeine and just pushed me over the edge. I really thought my life was ending that night and it was pure terror. Over time I’ve realised that I probably suffered from anxiety for a long time- like feeling nauseous for months on end and my ocd/depression/dysmorphia have stemmed from that. Understanding my anxiety though doesn’t help as much as I would like. I’m undergoing CBT at the moment but I feel like my counselor doesn’t get how important this is to me and leaves like a month inbetween appointments and is unavailable most of the time. It’s just the constant fear that they produce plus the fear of having one. It defintely eats up my social life and affects me in so many ways. I think I used to be happy before all of this, but I’d at least like to have the chance to find life without fear.

My senior year in college I had my first panic attack. I’m not sure what caused it, but it was in the middle of my sleep and I woke up thinking I was dying. For a few weeks after that I didn’t sleep a wink – every time I would close my eyes and feel peaceful I would wake up in a cold sweat.

My entire family has always suffered from this – maybe 3 generations back at least. I think part of it is definitely biological, which is why I started on meds and haven’t had a single attack in over 2 1/2 years. However I’d like to be able to beat this from a mental perspective also – not just relying on the drugs.

So, I have ‘overcome’ anxiety, but I want to do it naturally. End of story :)

The anxiety is a lot better since my husband and I have been working on our relationship and finances. It got a little out of hand there for awhile, but things seem to be looking up.

I don’t know what to say but this is no way to live! I’m sick and tired of feeling this way. Clonopin is supposed to help with anxiety, but it deoesn.t seem like its doing its job very well.

I’m still doing well. I believe that I will always have some anxiety. The medication that I have taken for almost two years now seems to keep me stable most of the time. I was worried about being taken off of it the last time I had a checkup at the doctor, but she assured me that she would not take me off of it as long as I felt I needed it. I can’t imagine going back to the way I felt before medicine. I don’t know how I lived like that or how anyone could stand being around me. I guess they really cared a lot to put up with my behavior. I’m not ready to mark this as DONE, but I do feel like I have made great progress in the past two years.

Well, I made it through another holiday season and am still marginally sane. This year wasn’t that bad actually. Less stress than I’ve had in awhile. The Christmas bonus helped relieve a lot of the money anxiety. This year has gotten off to a good start and I hope it stays that way.

I’ve really been doing well lately. I still get stressed out, I just don’t go crazy about things as much as I used to. I can really see how over time I have been getting better and better. I hope to continue on this path.

Today wasn’t so good. I was really stressed out over getting my photos mounted and dropped off for the State Fair. There were a few tears and some general craziness on my part, but I calmed down after a bit. I still don’t feel all together. i’m Better, but not great. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow.

Things have been a little easier lately. I had a nice vacation and will be taking another in a couple of weeks. Money is still an issue, but I have been trying hard not to worry about things too much and just make sure all the bills get paid on time. This helps relieve some of my anxiety if I just relax a bit.

I’m still worried about money. It’s as bad as usual if not worse. I just want to scream. I wouldn’t have as many problems if I could get the money problems straightened out. I want to get caught up on all of my bills and not have to worry about being short before payday. I hate living paycheck to paycheck. I’m am to old to be doing this shit.