I have noticed a distinct connection between external stimuli and my overall anxiety level. That sounds crushingly obvious, but it’s really sort of a revelation. I am not as able as I thought I was to put aside things that I have read or seen on TV or interactions I have had with other people.
I have been re-reading Stephen Donaldson’s Thomas Covenant novels and while I love them (I am astounded at how blatantly he throws around obscure and enormous words, yet somehow makes it all work), I also am drowning in depressive, negative imagery. They are a very bleak experience, which is exactly as they are supposed to be, yet it has a terrible effect on my mood and outlook. I am finding myself simultaneously agitated and depressed and can’t help remembering Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice, in “Anger”, to be mindful of what one takes in, be it food or television or yes, reading material. We are what we eat – or hear, or read.
So as much as I hate it, I may have to just put these books aside. They are not furthering my goal of peace of mind. 6 years ago
I am reading “No Death, No Fear” by Thich Nhat Hanh, my favorite wise person in the world. As fear of death has always been one of the cornerstones of my psyche, I am hopeful that his incredible spiritual wisdom and insight may help me there.
I think that it will. I am not far into the book yet, but it is already calming me and reinforcing my sense of connection to everything, which I think is going to be instrumental in helping me conquer this particular fear. I think once I have this one figured out, the rest will fall into place rather well.
So I’m working on it. 6 years ago
today, just this one day, i promised myself i would not let my fears get to me/i would not over react.
of course the thoughts started coming and i started thinking of germs and disease and i started crying. i knew it was happening because i was so nervous- my body was acting different and jittery- mostly because i’m taking non-prescription sleeping pills and get many bad nights of sleep.
i know i am healthy though- i’ve gotten many tests and all my doctors say i’m fine i just never believe them when they say that three months is plenty of time to tell if there was something wrong with all the technology today.
i hate that i’m always like this. 6 years ago
you will always be scared. that’s what being human means. 7 years ago
i have to stop being scared all the time. it hinders me from doing things that i should be doing. it ruins my confidence too. 7 years ago
i have to stop being scared of everything….cause it makes people mad at me 7 years ago
31OCT1997 I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I ended up in the wrong neighborhood, to make a long story short I was shot several times and almost beaten to death. After 16 hours on the operating table, four reconstructive surguries, and four months in a hospital. I left the hospital scared in more ways than one. I found myself afraid of everything, mainly among people. I could not go into public places nor could I have any kind of personal relationship with others. I lost my job, my friends, and almost my family just because I was always expecting the worst in every situation. One year later, I found another job with little public contact but still would not leave my home for anything other than work. Then one day something happened and I said I have had enough I was tired of losing everyone that meant something to me in my life. I put myself thru a major overhaul. Five years later with family support a whole lot of prayer and a few hundred blessings from above. With no help from medications nor therapy I was able to be human again. I remarried the mother of my children and now I work in public relations in a US Government Agency.
For many years I could not look people in the eye. I could not handle people raising thier voices nor loud noises. Seeing people large groups of people really bothered me too. I am to the point now that only loud noises and sometimes raised voices bother me. Maybe my skin has gotten thicker with age and time. Now I am happier and healthier than I was before the “accident.”
If I can do it, you can do it too… even if you have to have therapy and medication some people need a little more to get thru. But it is really worth it, there is someone out there that may be missing you. 7 years ago
Yay! I stopped being so scared! I realized that if I just stop thinking about it and just do whatever I was scared of doing, it turns out to be totally worth it every time, and eventually my confidence grows and I can do it without having the schisa(sp?) scared out of me. 7 years ago
It seems like everything I like to do, I’m scared of. I’m terrified of roller coasters and am always nervous before I get on a horse every week. It’s really aggravating. :[ 7 years ago
I am very scared of the Halloween Hayride that my family has every year. I can’t be part of the hayride because I know I couldn’t handle having a cart running over my toes or my feet. But I don’t want to ride it either! Could someone give me some tips in the next few hours so I won’t be the annual sock hop chicken like I was last year. And being a 70’s diva chicken would be worse.
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! 8 years ago