tell 43 jokes

counts this as done, so will i
it was a total of forth-three, wasn’t it?????
:)

And I think I started this two years ago. The only goal that’s taken me longer was the “do all the laundry” one, I think.

Thanks for playing!

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.

Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.

Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It`s dark in here, isn`t it?”

“Yes, it is,” the man replies.

“You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks.

“No thanks,” the man replies.

“I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist
continues.

“OK. How much?” the man replies after considering the position he`s in.

“Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies.

“TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?” the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

“It`s dark in here, isn`t it?” the boy starts off.

“Yes, it is,” replies the man.

“Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks.

“OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his
disadvantage.

“Fifty dollars,” the boy replies and the transaction is completed.

The next weekend, the little boy`s father says “Hey, son, go get your ball and glove and we`ll play some catch.”

“I can`t. I sold them,” replies the little boy.

“How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.

“Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says.

“SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS? That`s thievery! I`m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,” the father explains as he hauls the child away.

At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It`s dark in here, isn`t it?”

To which the priest exclaims, “Don`t you start that in here.”

In Sunday school, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny what is the matter?”

Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

“How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?”

“A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.”

A Catholic priest, a rabbi and a Muslim imam all sit next to one another at a diner. The Rabbi turns to the other two and says, “Hey, did you hear the one about us?”

A Soviet joke:

What do you call one Russian? A drunk.

What do you call two Russians? A fight.

What do you call three Russians? A Party cell.

A drunkard takes a leak by a lamp pole in the street. A policeman tries to reason with him: “Can’t you see the latrine is just 25 feet away?”

The drunkard replies: “Do you think I got me a damn fire hose in my pants here?”

A cowboy is riding across a prairie. His inner voice tells him, “Get off the horse and dig a hole!” The cowboy does this and finds a box of silver. “Dig deeper!” The cowboy digs and finds a box of gold. “Dig deeper,” says the voice again. The cowboy keeps digging and finds a box of diamonds.

“Now, I wonder how you’ll get yourself out,” says the inner voice.