She’s ten. For the first time in her life, she’s gone on a school trip that lasts more than a day. I got a phone call from her late at night.
She has to talk to me!
What’s happened?
She’s in love with a 6th grader. He’s in love with her too. Her friends think he’s going to ask her to be his girlfriend and she doesn’t know what to do!!!
But she loves him, so why not accept?
Because his friends will laugh at her! (As I write this it occurs to me, that I might have said, if his friends laugh at you, he should stand by you; I hope she knows that!). And all the time there’s a friend in the background saying: say yes! Say yes! Almog, tell her to just say yes!
I told her it was ok to tell him that she needs some time to consider. She shouldn’t be forced into decisions when she’s out on a school trip, far from home, and surrounded by friends who pressure her. She said she’d do just that.
I blame my lack of experience for my failed marriage. She would get a chance to know that she is lovable, and what treatment she should expect in a relationship.
But I’m so glad that she rang to consult me! 2 years ago
I just got a real feeling of how long I haven’t been here.
My daughter is now a 4th grade student, and my son a 1st grader, of a democratic school.
What does democratic education mean?
1. They get to choose their classes. Pff, beginner’s stuff.
2. They may participate in making the rules. They are equal members of the school parliament. There’s also a community parliament, in which I – as a parent – am also a member. They may sugget that it’s ok to hit other kids. They never do, of course, because it’s absurd. But they did suggest – and voted for – a rule that it’s illegal for teachers to give out homework for the holiday. And the teachers – who are also members of the school parliament – voted against, but were outvoted and now have to comply.
3. They can make things happen by being elected to commities.
4. One of these commities judges between disputed parties (any members of the community) and handles complaints of violence etc.
Do they learn at all? My daughter actually works very hard. But that’s because that’s the way she is. My son less so. But he makes progress. My daughter is also very much into parliament and commities activity. A true little activist.
Does it woek towards this goal? I believe that it helps not to ruin, not to break what’s working. 2 years ago
I moved out on my boyfriend. They’re doing infinitely better now. 7 years ago
On Monday, I had to pick up my duahgter in the middle of the day because she didn’t feel well. I took her out, and some seven or eight kids were standing by the fence waving goodbye to her. So she does have other friends… 7 years ago
It’s two days into the new preschool, and my eldest already has a new friend! Am I bursting with pride? – oh no. I have never felt such negative emotions towards such a little boy. He is going to be an emotionally abusive husband one day. He nevr smiles; why she likes him – I can’t tell. Maybe she felt lonely the first day, and he gave her attention. Every time she refuses to do something he wants her to do, he threatens her that he won’t love her. She is truly torn. Worst of all, she starts to adopt his complaining tone of voice. If he is strong enough, he can prevent her from making other friends. I’m really worried. 7 years ago
My children don’t know it’s uncool to be utterly enthusiastic about something. I dread the day they will find out, being put down by other children. I wish I could stop that from happening.
By the way, why is it that in our culture we assume so many times that if something is easy and fun with children, then it must be wrong, and if something is hard, then it must be the right thing to do? 7 years ago
