identify 43 things I don't like about myself and change them

i’m tuning 13 & i’m on bc because of a disease i have. itp- i bleed alot & the pill helps for that time of month. unfortunately, i’ve had to switch from a high dosage- which gave me serious headaches- to the patch- making me so weird i saw demons in the clouds- to a low dosage which has been better for me. i’m a lil weird, but way better. i think i may be going through a phase. i’ve done research & i found that some girls go thru a phase where they like 1 girl for a little while. my sister did, and so did her friend. so i dont feel alone… i wish that feeling would change. it sucks liking some1 while you have a bf, especially if its the same gender as you. i guess you could say we’re close. we cuddle but not as in a couple’s way.. jus friendly. & we talk about the stupidest things too. shes awesome, in so many ways, and shes gorgeous- to me.(: i think this phase will pass soon, bc i got that out of my chest.
things i wish i could change:
•my itp
•taking the pill
•being antisocial
•looking at myself in the mirror and jus thinking ‘ew’
•thinking im fat when everyone tells me i have a perfect body
•the way i feel about my father.
•getting mad about the smallest things
•not seeing my bf enough
•having more confidence
•my feelings for my 1 friend.
•and the 1 im checking off now- keeping all of my thoughts to myself. :D 21 months ago

Well as it turns out, most of the things on my list are symptoms of depression. I’ve since accepted that I suffer from an illness, been treated for it, given anti-depressants and feel much better.

Soooo, I’m deleteing this goal, accepting my flaws, keep taking my tablets & reminding myself that we are all human, I’m a good person who tries my best, people make mistakes/are moody sometimes & dwelling on 43 short-coming won’t do me any good :) x 2 years ago

-I want to work on my overall appearance
-My lack of motivation
-My loads of procrastination
-I hate myself
-Have a lack of confidence and esteem
-Being a better girlfriend cause I can’t make my boyfriend happy cause how I feel about myself
-I’m never proud of my work and always find something wrong with it but ill say I’m proud anyway
-I’m very anti social but want to learn how to talk to people
-I’m very shy
-I get mad easily
-I don’t take critisism well
-I hate being by myself
-I haven’t studied for anything since 5th grade with no joke
-I don’t feel like an individual cause I don’t feel like I stand out at all
-I need to exorcise more
-I need to practice guitar more
-I need to do my goals list that I’ve made
-I need to not be so controlling
-I’m too indecisive
-I feel like my existence doesn’t matter as much as it should
-I want to spend more time with my family and friends
-i try to make everyone happy because that’s how I think
-I have a low tolerance for stupid
-I’m a hermit due to my hobbies
-I want to work on being more involved in my community
-I want to be more well rounded
-I want to be more aware about global news
-Be more patient
-Have more motivation
-Be more self aware not just involving others
-listen to others more
-work on my ADHD
-become more culturally aware
-have a higher tolerance for people
-eat healthier
-not make a list for everything(I have OCD but making list is a hobby for me when I’m bored)
-I feel like I don’t do something right or I don’t know it when I do
-i want to do more things that I’ve wanted to do(like travel or go out of state for a concert or something)
-im socially akward due to social anxiety(I thought this would be different from just anti social)
-im very paranoid that everyone hates me or is making fun of me
-i don’t have time for everything I would like to
-i have the mentality that I can always do better and that whatever I do is not my best
-i have a tendancy to be very blunt with people 2 years ago

Hey… well I split up from my daughters dad back in March this Year..qucikly got into a new realtionship..TUT TUT…i hear you cry…but I truely believe he is the one..fingers crossed!!! But i can be a complete nightmare..so many insecurities and fears..he has given up so much for me, and i need to change!!! He moved down from the north east (220 miles) 8 weeks ago..give up seeing his kids every week to move in with me and my little one.
So now is the time for change…want this one..want to keep this one….hence the list “43 things i need to change!” ..im hoping theres not 43 ..again fingers crossed..and by god am i hoping theres not more…i suppose i’ll only see as this list developes…would love your comments..input…help..like i said need this to work…I love this guy to bits! lol x

So here goes..i’m sure i’ll add over time!!!!

43 I don’t like about myself and want to change:

1) My I’m always right syndrom——proven wrong many times! stilll instilled though!

2) I need to learn to trust again.

3) Need to let go sometimes.

4) hand over control..i always have to be in control of a situation…i need to let go.

5) i hate i’m about 2 stone over weight..lost a stone..must keep going

6) i need to cook more and learn how to cook more..want to be nigella mark 2

7) i hate that for the first time i feel jealous of my blokes ‘girl’ friends..never have before..need to lose this and stop getting worked up.

8) hate i never have enough time for my Little girl..need to make more time!!!

9) hate i’m needy…try to hide it..but comments like ‘so what did such and so think/say about me” are consently crossing my lips.

10) need to stop caring what other none imoortant folk think!!! (see above)

Well it is late now…LOL…i cant believe i’ve started a blog like this..and trust me theres loads more of “i need to change stuff” but tired out and to thoughtful to continue tonight.
Im hoping typing all this down and getting it out of my head, will help will number 11 on my list …..I THINK TOO MUCH>......fingers crossed…i dont do the norm…lol….number 13 on the list….I always start things and give up on them…hey…hopefully be in touch soon….not sure whos reading..but please comment…only good and productive mind LOL

cheers and bye for now

SPAM2680 xxxx ;) 2 years ago

I was going to do this as a oner, but I think I’ll just start now and carry on & I can can add other things as hopefully things get crossed off …

1. my insecurity
2. paranoia
3. I’m underweight
4. I have been a bit spoilt
5. I can be very blunt at times
6. inability to communicate with people
7. social anxiety
8. anxiety attacks
9. the need to please everyone
10. imagining arguments with people
11. being really hard on myself
12. I can force my opinions on people sometimes
13. I can be very self-involved and not be aware of others
14. daydreaming when I should be listening
15. getting easily bored
16. the rage – and taking it out on inanimate objects or being grumpy

that’ll do for now, I’m depressed 2 years ago

1. i am lazy
2. focus of studies more
3. read primary literature on a regular basis
4. do not be rude to my parents/sister/boyfriend
5. take only 7 to 8 hours of sleep everyday
6. do not take bf for granted
7. learn not to shout while conversing, i have a loud voice and i neec to train myself to talk more softly
8. think 3 times before saying anything; its ok if something remains unsaid but i do not want to say something and regret it (been through that many times)
9. stop being judgemental of others
10. do not overreact to petty household quarrels 3 years ago

the fact I talk to much
I have very dry skin
I don’t or can’t communicate expressing how I really feel 3 years ago

Have not had a bf or been interested in anyone in a year now and weight has always been up and down. size 14-16ish but now, busting out of my 16 pants at work and shirts and haven’t worn my jeans I look good in and wore on vacation in Md to see a guy last November. It is like I don’t care if all I can fit into is sweatpants! I don’t go out and sit home and drink and binge eat! I live with sister and made a huge step in the right direction by moving out in Feb to my own apt, in a bigger city, near work. Have been hiding behind my bad habit and sweatpants for so long. Lets don’t even talk about how messy my room and bathroom are! My self esteem dating wise is really low bc of my weight but I honestly think I am really pretty and have a job I love! My self esteem at work is good but I don’t deal with drama well and it upsets me but I work on letting the small stuff and the micro managing controlling girl well I have trouble knowing the best way to react to her nonsense but it does bother me, but I am good and experienced at my field. I have to get the eating and drinking under control! I will be forced to once I have rent and bills all on my own and I need the challenge, but why isn’t it enough for me to do to otherwise? If i had man company I would keep things neater, but I take the easy road and want to have that inner desire to be neat and clean and workout and not drink wine so mcu and then eat. I don’t want to be “that girl” who doesn’t care about her life enough to do her part to be the best -lately I would say I am the laziest! 3 years ago

21) I love cooking but too lazy to do it often

22) Need no be more active instead of just spending most of my spare time using the internet

23)I wish I put my ideas into action more.

24)I wish I had a talent or 2

25)I feel I’m leading a life without any purpose

26)I need to set some goals & purpose to liven my life

27) I am ignorant to what is going on in the world.

28)Need to read more on wide range of topics instead of just story books

29)Upgrade myself more on career aspects

30)Wish to be more all-rounder

31)Want to improve my self-confidence & self-esteem

32)Improve my driving skills & be a more confident driver

33)Be more well spoken

34)Be studious & well educated

35)Want to be a more outstanding person then to be a regular average person

36)I rarely do chores without being asked or nagged at

37)I get annoyed at my parents very often or even to the little issues

38)I’m very impatient

39)Need to improve on my personal grooming

40)I could be more nicer than now

41)I want to spend my time & money usefully & wisely

42) Need more self-improvement

43) I never really bother trying to change myself, but now that I have listed the 43 things that I don’t like about myself.I will try to do something about it and change little here & there! 3 years ago

11) I need to keep in touch with my dear friends more often.

12) I don’t seem to succeed in saving money.Even if I do for a month or so… later I spend it!

13) I have poor eating habits.

14) I really get irritated by loud noises.

15) I’m not disciplined enough to focus on my studies

16) I hate making phone calls, enquiries.

17) I don’t take criticism very well.

18) I don’t know & don’t really get myself involved in household issues like paying the bills & expenses…

19) Have very poor General Knowledge… be it local news, recent news, foreign news or daily household expenses issues.

20)I’m not very sporty or active 3 years ago