post randomly

clothes

1. 4 pairs of pants (wool lined, khaki, black dress, jeans, )
2. 2 skirts. wool lined, dress
3. black dress.
4. 4 sweaters: 2 wool, 1 cadigan, blue sweater
5. 3 jackets 1 fleece, 1 raincoat, 1 down coat
6. wool tights, long underwear,
7. pjs- flannel
8. wool hat, gloves, scarf
9. hiking books, winter books, rain boots, sneakers, shoes, casual

1. 4 blank journals
2. 20 books.
3. yarn and needles
4. crayons/ markers, glue sticks , art paper.
5. batteries.
6. reading glasses.
7. pens.
8. candles.
9. bedding, flannel

personals
1. soap.
2. tooth paste.
3.

food
1. flour
2. sugar
3. brown sugar
4. cinnamon
5. yeast
6 . coffee
7 baking soda
8. nuts
9. oatmeal.
10. dried fruit.
11. dried hummus
12. oil.
13. black beans
14. sun dried tomotoes
15 dried pasta
16. popcorn
17.

Households
1. french press.
2. electric kettle.
3. cooking pots
4. knives
5. sponges
6. laundrey detergent
7.

other
1.recipes 2 hours ago

myself thinking every now and agian… that i would love to relocate again to another country… where the weather is warmer and the living is easy.

it will either be back home or some place different all together.

its a big step, but i feel i need a change and a different pace of life. i dont feel that this life i lead is “me”. and it doesnt make me that happy. i havent made the best choices, and it feels harder as we get older

i think i need to work on this and go where i can be happy. its jsut hard cos its not easy. aint that a crazy line. there are other people and things to consider. i wonder if i will ever make it a reality. end of the day, i should try to do what makes me happy. cos its my life. and i have to live it. its just me myself and i.

remains to be seen what happens in future.

follow your bliss. 3 hours ago

on here to much lately. been very sporadic. but i have missed this place. so will try and be here a bit more. its hard sometimes with work and time restraints. missed being up to date with things and people on here.

this place is good for me. greatful to have discovered 43things many years ago. still amazes me that few people know of it. but that is a good thing. 3 hours ago

not claim to be perfect, and i have my bad days like everyone else… but i really get annoyed with rude people. i try to be nice in general with people, so why do i have to work with such rude people?! i know the nature of my work is a very busy environment and people are stressed out half the time… but still its not necessary and its not nice. but u know what it is some people just think they can do and say whatever they like and its different rules for them, but as soon as u treat them, the way they treat u, its a different story and they dont like it. seriously i hate it. and the best part, its always the bosses who are the worst behaved. every time! we cant break any rules and if we do we get greif, but they break all the rules. and they can be rude and disrespectful, but if i do it, woe is me. today twice, i got attitude that wasnt warrented so i just left it. and walked away. ok, it wasnt anything major, and i certainly didnt do anything wrong, and yet i got spoken to in a manner as if i had. on both occasions, i should have jsut said there was no need to speak to me like that, but u know what, i didnt waste my breath. in the past when i spoke back and stood up for myself. ive been called in twice to discuss my behaviour and my attitude. and then i was still told i was gonna be monitored for 2 weeks and then talk again to see if i improved. like im a teenager in high school!. puhleese!

but oh yeah they can speak rudely and disrespectfully to us it seems.

there are other things i could moan about regarding my work or more to the point my bosses… but i will leave that for another day. quite frankly im not in the mood. seriously… people are jsut plain rude and think its ok to be like that. well i dont think so.

i am no saint, but i dont like it when people are rude and horrible for no reason its not nice.

rant over. 3 hours ago

I had to laugh the other day. I knew the answer, yet I asked it anyway. I’ve always had different taste in tv shows than my coworkers. More times than not.

My friends outside of work usually have similar tastes in tv shows/ movies. for the most part so I know that I’m not completely along. I have my people.

I was a work lunch the other day and we were talking about tv shows that were filmed in Hawaii. Bonty hunter (I’ve never heard of that show), Magnum PI, and may another one. I noticed they hadn’t mentioned LOST. one of my favorite all time shows. They alll looked at me said, LOST? what’s that? I’ve never heard of it. Oh that weird show. It made me laugh because I wasn’t surprised.
A little while later I talked about my new favorite show… Call the Midwife. they were like what? never heard of it . What tv network. I said PBS. huh? One person had heard of the shwo, but never watched it.

sign..
I think I’m a tv nerd. 1 day ago

I’ve been depressed. I keep writing long posts about it and then deleting them. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts, and feel I am a danger to myself.

I’ve also been making poor money decisions, and drinking too much. I have never had a drinking problem. I have always been able to just have a single drink, enjoy it, and then quit, until now.

Last night I drank so much that I made myself sick, and woke up with the worst hangover in my life. I was all alone, because my husband is out of town. Today is supposed to be a really big sales day for me – a major opportunity – but I can’t make it because I’m in such a fog. I did it because I was sad, and felt the need to self medicate.

I’ve been searching online for a psychiatrist, but they are all so expensive, and I don’t trust anyone. I don’t know what’s causing it, and I don’t know what to do. I just feel sad and hopeless. This has been going on for a couple of months, but I’ve been hiding it, although I don’t know why that is either.

Update: I went and did the art thing after all, and I feel better. I have still been acting outrageously stupid lately, but at least I was useful today. I didn’t sell anything, but someone ordered a custom mailbox, and another girl wanted to buy a clock for her first apartment and said she would come back next week. All of these things make me feel better. I have decided to lay off drinking entirely, and I am still looking into psychiatrists.

This is something I wanted to share here, not to be dramatic, but because it is part of my journey in life, and not something I feel like hiding. 1 day ago

I woke up tired this morning. dragged a little today, luckily nothing pressing… left by 3pm

Friend called to see if I wanted to go do something tonight I said no.

Got a call from a school district in rural Alaska for a teachingjob.. 9months of work, getting paid about 20k more than I make now. It’s rather appealing. I’d get 1 month off for Christmas and about 2 months for summer.

The adventure appeals to me and the position really fuels my passion for my work.

It’s far from my family. I’d still see them for christmas and even more time in the summer. but it’s far.

It’s this weird time for me. I am also up for aposition on the East Coast, The possible position is located about 10 minutes from my sister’s house. I don’t know if I am close to getting that job, it’s wild that is’ so different from thsi Alaska job.

the other job that is in the works is a different positon at my current agency . not as much money as the Alaska job or the NJ job,

I think if they all called tomorrow. It would probably go like this

1. Alaska job.
2. NJ job.
3 current place ment.

I think I want that Alaska job. I can save money, travel in the summer,

I also see how after 2 years, I can move into a regional director position and move back to the lower 48 ,and travel around to Alaska sites to do t/ta. It would be pretty cool.

Years ago i cut out an ad for a job, that was for a teacher, who taught school and traveled by bush plane to different villiage.s It always stayed with me. The pull is strong.

The NJ job,is interesting as wel. I feel like it would include picking with some lost relationshiops that I had 20 years ago. Moving back would be quite interesting, though, I kind of know I will nver quite fit into that place.

Staying where I am , with a new positon. could be interesting. New challlenges,. New director, whom I like a lot. could be good.

Aren’t I the lucky one. ? We’ll see. LGL. 2 days ago

Today, as I was leaving the house to take Nick to the movies, Molly came into the garage with a lizard. I tried to catch it so that Molly would not kill it, but it got away.

I told the caregiver, who was leaving too, that I thought it had gone under his tire and I wanted to get it. He said “Don’t worry about it, I’ll kill it so she won’t take it in the house and kill it there.”

I said, “I am not worried about her taking it in the house, I am worried about the LIFE OF THE LIZARD.”

We laughed at our mutual misunderstanding, but I cannot believe that all the times he has seen me chase after various creatures that the cats have brought in and release them back into the woods, that he has thought it was because I was worried about my HOUSE.

I also cannot understand how an otherwise kind person would think it was okay to kill a lizard just for the sake of convenience. I will kill something poisonous (black widow) or invasive (ants, roaches), but generally, if it’s not hurting me, I am not going to hurt it. Live and let live. I really don’t understand any other point of view. 2 days ago

Between my doctor appointment and picking up medicine didn’t get home til after 6 even though my appointment was suppose to be 1:30 3 days ago

Feb
Photography,
work transtion
book group
What’s next?
Gratitude
Lent?
Hildaguard
Creative expression
Board of directors
Advisory board
Salad club

Mar
Holy week
J’s funeral
What’s next?
forgiveness
opening
Volunteer Fair – great job.

April
Your love and your grace
work trip- nerves,
future possibilies
letting K know
acceptance
reunion
listening
LGL
community

May
LGL
Opening and possibliities
journey contiues with more joy vs happiness.
SEEL next year
new position possiblities.
hopeful

Love
Volunteer Fair
M
Hildaguar
Love and Grace
Easter brunch
photography
dance party
JVC brunch-LGL
renion talk
Jersey boys

not of love
doubt after b.
saying goodbye
unsettledness of COH

Hope in the world
M’s faith
reaching out of ET, JT, K, and friends
job possiblities.
hopeful

With the quiet return to a forgotten faith , intentionally showing up to everyday moments with God, through creativity, listening, and engaging in community , I have rediscovered a forgotten treasure. The bear bones of God’s love and grace, are resurrected again and I remember what’s important. 3 days ago