A few events have gone into this post; I won’t go into details, but suffice to say this isn’t coming out of left field.
Time to change the way I think of others, in order to model better behavior for my kid and get a better handle on my own mindset. This one has two parts:
1. Don’t assume the worst in people.
Yesterday, a car was crawling up my butt on the freeway. I got my first speeding ticket last week (I was distracted by my sick baby, not hot-rodding :), so I’m being extra cautious these days. That this guy wanted to push my 70-in-a-65 to 85-in-a-65 just boiled my blood. Plus he was on a cell phone.
Then I thought: Maybe he’s worried about a sick kid. Business suit and tie…maybe his child is sick, and he’s rushing home after a long day to spend as much time with his baby as possible. Maybe he’s on the phone with that kid now, and the child is in tears, and wants Daddy nownowNOW.
I can relate. I got over. He sped off. I felt much better about us both.
Yeah, his reasons might not have been so altruistic. But who’s to say they weren’t?
2. Don’t let others’ opinions of me wreck my day.
Haters gonna hate. And unfortunately, some of those closest to me will think the worst of me at any given moment, whether I deserve it or not. I can’t control that. What I can control is my attitude towards it. And rather than stew over it, I’m going to take such comments as a red flag that said person is directing even harsher comments towards themselves, and lashing out at others as a result of their own self-loathing. Again, may not be true…but I like us all a lot better when I assume that is the case.
See, here’s the thing: What’s inside ripples outward. When I allow others to make me feel bad, my interactions with my family are altered. When I’m in a bad mood, that puts R in a bad mood, which puts Anya in a bad mood. Nobody wins. And I’m extremely stressed lately, so it takes very little to set me off.
I want Anya to grow up in a home filled with happiness. And that’s hard right now, because I am so very stressed out. But I don’t want her or R to suffer because of that; my stress is neither of their faults. But I can’t control the behavior of others, so I need to start working on my own.
Be kind. Think kind. Who knows – perhaps I will get kind in return. 2 weeks ago