Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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3,252 people want to do this. 3 people have this New Year's resolution.

be more patient


 

Entries from everyone

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gracelennonUntitled

Timeline: continuous
Necessary resources: a positive attitude and motivation 5 months ago


Hazel Wangbe more patient

- 5 months ago


Hazel Wangbe more patient

- 5 months ago


Heather KinganPatient

I am learning everyday how to become alittle more patient and understanding with myself and with others. 11 months ago


EmelleWhen I meditate

and have trouble with monkey mind, I think as I breathe:

Strong, happy.
Centered, in a good place.
Gentle, kind.
Neutral, on an even keel. 11 months ago


Minnie2012A challenge unmastered

It’s not easy. I’m living proof! 15 months ago


jimrinBe happier!

Inc.com published an article titled Be Happier: 10 Things to Stop Doing Right Now. I was happy to see that most of the 10 things were similar to what I found I had to do to be more patient, which in turn led me to discover that these were the same things I could do to be happier.

I summarized what I learned in the following two posts under this same goal (that is, the two posts prior to this one):

  1. I’ve been meaning to summarize what I’ve learned about this goal…
  2. Now that I finished documenting the beliefs which helped me be in a position to better myself

Since 43T displays your posts in reverse chronological order, it makes more sense to read the posts in the order I listed them, which is the order I wrote them.

Of course, it’s easy said than done to be happier. But I’m a believer we have the power to do what we want but conversely that means we have the power to prevent what we don’t want to do or more subtly to prevent what we don’t believe we can do. In other words, we have everything we need to be happy. It’s just that we tend to get in our own ways.

Anyway, the reference provides the link to the article, so instead of repeating what they say, I’ll put what they say in context what I’ve learned to be a more patient person.

  1. Blaming
    I mentioned how bad blaming is as #5 here. Blaming implies judging. That you have determined some other party is at fault. While it’s good to learn from past experiences, blame does not accomplish this. This only harbors negative feeling and energy. Not blaming also means you should not blame yourself either. What’s done is done. The focus should be on how to make things better based on the current situation.
  2. Impressing
    While I didn’t mention this explicitly, to me it’s related to unconditional love for yourself I mentioned in #10 here. If you love yourself unconditionally, you don’t need to try to impress others. You can then be yourself and then you’ll find true friends who like you for who you are.
  3. Clinging
    This is also related to unconditional love. If you have unconditional love for yourself, you are not dependent on others for your own happiness.
  4. Interrupting
    I knew interrupting was bad but they make a good point. Hadn’t thought about it that way.
  5. Whining
    I didn’t mention it explicitly in my posts, but I believe it’s not what you say, but how you say it. This is also related to you are as happy as you want to be. In my opinion, if you are unhappy, I believe you’ll tend to whine more. If you are happy, you’ll have a more non-judgmental view of the situation. That is, whether one whines or not is a matter of state of mind. If you practice being in a good state of mind, this will help your overall happiness and find yourself whining less. I know some people feel that whining makes them feel better. The problem is if whining makes you feel better, then you learn (teach yourself) to do it more. You should learn other more constructive ways to feel better.
  6. Controlling
    To me, this is related to #3 here about knowing what you have control over and what you don’t. That is, the Serenity Prayer. Honestly speaking, there’s very little you have control over. While you may be able to influence things, people, etc, the only thing you really have control over is how you feel and how you react to them.
  7. Criticizing
    This is similar to my comments on whining and blaming. I believe in constructive criticism, but you have to be aware that many people may not be open to it and since you have no control over whether other people accept constructive criticism or not, you should be aware that criticism could cause negative feeling from their part.
  8. Preaching
    In #5 here, I grouped blaming and judging together. In the article, they wrote “Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.”
  9. Dwelling
    Dwelling generally has to do with something in the past, which is something which cannot be changed. It also has to do with one’s state of mind, which is fortunately something you can control (with practice).
  10. Fearing
    Fearing is generally based on worrying about some future event. There may be something happening at the moment which is causing the worry about a future event. Let’s try a non-emotional example (ie, most of you are hopefully not in this situation) that one has lost one’s job and without income, one then fears about losing the house. We may be able to have some influence over whether losing the house becomes a reality or not, but there’s no guarantee. So the future is also something which falls under the category of things we cannot control. Fearing or worrying won’t accomplish anything except cause stress, and as I mentioned as #1 here, stress is bad. Just because one has no control over the future does not mean we give up or don’t care. Having control over what happens in the future and how we live our lives are not dependent on each other. Another non-emotional example is an upcoming test. One might fear or worry about failing it. Fearing or worrying won’t accomplish anything. Study as best as you can and then accept the results. Some people say fearing or worrying help motivate them, but if that is what motivates you, I would be inclined to think you have the wrong things motivating you.

There is one exception I would make for fear. There is a natural instinct we have for survival. I would say do not ignore those natural instincts. It’s just that with all the stress and negativity which surrounds our lives, I think we are no longer able to distinguish what comes from instinct and what comes as a product of how we have lived our lives.

Reference:

veranadineA Mother's Love

I had a child. My impatience affected him & I in negative ways. It took a few months, but my love for him overcame most of my inner anger and worry. Meditation REALLY helped a lot. My son has taught me patience through the power of unconditional love. 18 months ago


Dana Moore-Montenegro Commuting long distance forces this virtue

Doing leaps & bounds better about road / driving stress. Driving 84 miles daily / 3-5 hours daily in my car. 19 months ago


deeloouiseStep One

Have a better approach generally. Being impatient doesn’t change the end result it just makes me frustrated and seem like an idiot. I need to change my attitude and realise that it is not acceptable to be impatient. I’m also going to research this for any ‘coping’ strategies and focus on deep breathing when I feel myself getting impatient. 21 months ago


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