drink alcohol in moderation

a little dab will do ya! i’ve had to work at detoxing my liver slowly and eating some kind of meal with alcohol. i try to no longer us alcohol to destress but to just relax and enjoy the company and conversation of others.

I guess my taste for beer is back…but not in a bad way. For each Stanley Cup Final game I’ve watched (three) I’ve drank one beer for each. (Saturday, Monday & Wednesday.) One is enough for me.

I think the one beer made me sleepy last night because I fell asleep before the third period was over.

LET’S GO RED WINGS!!

Still no drinking. Now that’s actually 2 months with absolutely no alcohol but 6 months since I decided I wasn’t going to drink. I have no desire to have any and if I do it will most likely be one beer during dinner.

I’m not going to click the “I’ve done this” button until I’m in a situation where there is alcohol, where I might be tempted by it and/or someone saying to me “Just one won’t hurt!” Not to say that I’m so easily influenced by what other people say or do but you never know…that day could be a bad, stressful day and a drink or two might then sound good…but I highly doubt it at this moment.

I didn’t drink for the whole month of March. I’m shocked and proud! I don’t miss it anymore. When my man and I go out to eat where they serve alcohol, I briefly think “Do I want a drink? No, it doesn’t even sound good.” We went to Red Robin last weekend and I was looking at the margaritas on the menu and then I thought about my acid reflux and it wouldn’t have been worth the discomfort…or the extra calories.

I had one beer when we went to Greektown (again) on Feb. 24th. That same night we saw Foo Fighters. When we got to the venue I thought I wanted another beer but after taking a few sips I just couldn’t drink it. So I poured some in my man’s cup and threw the rest out. I have not had any alcohol since.

I went to an AA meeting and there was a great group of folks there. I really enjoyed the spiritual aspect of the meeting and witnessing the hard work that people were doing to get their lives better. I also recognized that I was not addicted to alcohol in that way and that “my life had not become unmanageable.” My body is reacting badly to drinking, even more than one drink with an evening meal, so I’m down to realizing that the realistic thing is maybe 3 or 4 drinks per week. However, wouldn’t it be nice if I just decided not to drink for weeks or months at a time? The last time I overdrank was the evening after the very stressful court date where my ex-spouse did not show up and postponed proceedings for yet another 2 months. I had to deal with not having the situation resolved that day. Once I go past 2 or 3 drinks, I don’t seem to be tell myself that is enough, and then I end up having 5 or 6 drinks. That is hard on the liver, digestion, it dehydrates the body, makes me not sleep well and makes me raveonous the next day. It also possibly spikes a mood swing towards depression, so not a good idea! Not worth it, really!

I had one beer on Saturday. I went to Greektown in Detroit, with my man, to my favorite restaurant and I wanted one of their greek beers. It was delicious and went really well with the food. I did feel a little guilty though…BUT (and this is a big but) I did not want another one after that. All I wanted was the one and that’s all I had. I was afraid that if I had one I would want more and then end up drinking too much that night…so I did good. Except for that one night, I still don’t feel like drinking and I haven’t had any besides that one.

letting people know that this is a life-saving act for me. I had to be drastic and dramatic, but I do think I was slowing poisoning myself with alcohol and that it was slowing eating away at my spirit and health and well-being. I can remember the exact point where I went from a once a week drinker to a habitual drinker, it was after a car accident and I used alcohol to numb the pain of herniated discs. Then I met my future husband who turned out to be a functional alcoholic (and still is a drinker, but no longer my husband) and thus began a decade (yikes!) of coping with “life” via alcohol. Now, I just have to consider all the things that I can do, now that I won’t be dealing with the ups and downs of self-alcohol abuse. any suggestions out there?

I was just listening to Alter Bridge (my fav band) like I do just about every day. For some reason the lyrics from Buried Alive really hit me today…so I thought I’d share them.

Buried Alive
I twist and turn
In the darkest space
Can’t find my worth
As I numb the pain

Glass to the sky
With a blacktooth grin
This whiskey smile
Takes me down again

I’m cold and I’m so afraid
That I’m too weak and I can’t change

I’ve been buried alive and
I don’t want to be here anymore
Reached out a thousand times for
A hand to pull me from below
I’ve been buried alive in a world
Of constant sorrow
Reach down tonight and set me free…
Save tomorrow

Another shot
Slip into the haze
Another night
Soaked in my disgrace

Toast to the lie
I’ll raise my glass and run
A wasted life
What have I become?

I’ve been buried alive and
I don’t want to be here anymore
Reached out a thousand times for
A hand to pull me from below
I’ve been buried alive in a world
Of constant sorrow
Reach down tonight and set me free…
Save tomorrow

Save tomorrow
Save tomorrow

Let me breathe again
Show me where I begin
To find the will to change
Before I lose everything
Before I lose everything

I’ve been buried alive and
I don’t want to be here anymore
Reached out a thousand times for
A hand to pull me from below
I’ve been buried alive in a world
Of constant sorrow

Reach down tonight and set me free
And I will follow
I’ve been buried alive

The second month was harder than the first. The first month I didn’t think about drinking, this month I did but I still didn’t want it enough that I couldn’t resist. I did stare at the wine & beer section when I passed it in the grocery store. People at work still can’t believe I’m not drinking.