I find it hard to trust people from past experiences in my life whether it be with friends, family or partners.
I have a wonderful boyfriend but after 2 and a half years i’m still waiting for the day that it will come crashing down.
I need to try to build my trust up but not so much that i can’t come back from a fall. 4 years ago
So I was in a relationship for 4 years, and I think, not sure of every detail, I was dupped for much of the relationship. I was trusting, open and let him spend every other weekend at his kids and ex-wives home so he could spend the weekend away from me and my kids which they hated. Yeah, I know you think he was doing the ex-wife. No…he wasn’t seeing his kids every time. So how often and where was he when he wasn’t with me? I am not sure I caught two instances where he wasnt going to be with me nor the kids and one where I got a call from a friend he stayed with. Then he moved out without consulting me for his kids sake, and then wanted to marry me and live about 200 miles apart. I waited for 4 years thinking we were moving toward marriage and then it was gone. After a second deception (my first was my child-porn loving ex-husband and father of my children-that was the roughest discovery ever) I have a hard time trusting that I can trust wisely. All these guys started GREAT! and then I find out these hidden lives. The problem is my best friend is now my boyfriend and every time he misses a call, doesn’t answer, or his battery dies…I freak out. I am ready to dump him when that happens in order to protect myself and not be blind. But that is not fair, he spends every day he is off work with me (we live 100 miles apart) and he pampers me and he talks to me a million times a day and he hasn’t had a girlfriend in years and I am the first he’s brought home to mom and dad ( we are in our 30s) and somehow, a missed call, a distracted mood, and I reel into this panic of how he could be cheating, or how it could start since we are so far away, or what I may be missing, etc. etc. I wrote a few things today…and it helps hope it helps for you all…
THINGS TO REMEMBER:
1)Trust that what happens is what will happen and you cannot prevent it. Besides, when things happen, they always reap even better opportunities.
2)Have patience, but don’t close your eyes while you wait, enjoy the wait and if the line is too long, you will have spent time well spent.
3)Trust that you cannot know or control everything and what matters is what you get, what you see, and what you feel.
4)What is there to fear?..Never finding true blue? You know there are many more waiting in line to get a chance to be with you whenever you are available…...some you have not even imagined….
5)You are where you are because you want to…no charity…. 5 years ago
I dont know why I cant but I won’t or have self belife
perhaps if I trust wisely then I can trust full stop. 5 years ago
These last few months have been really rocky. I have a hard time making friends with people who turn out to be decent, and I don’t always have those instincts that some girls have about falsehoods that guys put around themselves to impress a girl. But I have a really really hard time trusting any guys. I know that there are some really nice ones out there, I just don’t have a whole lot of faith. I’m not looking for a companion, I’m married. I just seem to pull in friends who want way more than friendship, so when I meet new guys, I have a really hard time getting past that barrier. 5 years ago
Trusting wisely is a good way to put it. I believe that the high level of skepticism I have developed for anyone who even has a HINT of player scent about him is a GOOD THING!!
Anyone willing to take the time to get to know me and not push me into sex or a relationship has got to be more trustworthy than the others, in MHO.
At the same time, having some faith that a trustworthy and good-looking, sexy man exists for me…? That seems to be where I am struggling. I think for now, I am trying to focus on other things and let that angst dissapate a bit more. 6 years ago
Something I’ve learned over time is that people tend to think of themselves first and don’t much care who they hurt doing it. I’ve been physically as well as emotionally abused. I’ve had friends betray me more often than I care to count also. I’m the type that trusts naturally or used to. When I give my affection or (used to) give my trust, it’s with all my heart. Instead I’m now always tense and on guard with those around me and it makes me feel uncomfortable that I can’t be myself with those I care about. 6 years ago
The people I’ve trusted in the past have stabbed me in the back now i find it hard to trust anyone even my family 6 years ago
In this tradition, I was able to overcome a lot of things I’ve had issues with such as trust, peace, and depression. 6 years ago
I want to learn to trust, there is only one person in this world i trust and that is me, i trust my gf, but not as much as i should… 6 years ago
Honestly, there have been many, many instances in my life that have legitimately led me into a “I don’t trust anybody” mentality. No matter what I do I seem to be attracted to people who cannot be trusted to begin with. It’s a perpetual, self-sustaining issue. Fact is, I want to trust again I just don’t know if anybody is worth it. My opinion has become, in general, that most people just suck. 6 years ago