Be more authentic

I’ve put this as a larger goal, so I’m marking it done. Since I lost everything important to me in an emotional sense, I have conversely been freed to find out more about myself. I’ve found two things: one, my alter ego dark self is an asshole, is shallow and dangerous and thoughtless and I don’t care for her or what she does for me as a person or two my life and relationships in general. Two, I need structure and purpose or I lose the things that make me good and make me me. I hope to find a way to be true to a self worth having, and only hope I stumble down the path to a place where I can do those things. I might put this back up as a goal.

not caring so much what others think, or will think…or monitoring myself for a given person…or being ashamed… or hiding from my truth. being brave.

I want to tell people what I think. And now that I can do it without artifice or malice, I feel more free and more normal, as well as more comfortable around the world and people. As long as I can hold on to this skill and not fall back into my small-hearted fear of the world and my miserly feelings of being taken away from by others. Strength, my dear.

Slowly but surely I’m trying, insinuating my genuine self in to interactions and my everyday life. The hardest part is remembering I can do whatever I please and remembering to be brave enough to do it and fuck everyone else. I don’t think I’m an awful person so I don’t believe any expression I have of genuineness should be offensive, so the only things stopping me are censure from the writhing, bleating masses and my own lack of confidence or self-strength.

Speaking of lame, I feel bad for young girls. Their problems haven’t really changed at all, despite the passage of time and “evolution” of society. They still do the same stupid things if they’re not raised and supported properly. All kids do the same things to get attention; I’m amazed it surprises anyone.

I dyed my hair purple to express my grief despite the stigma or possible threat from work. I felt a little more whole after I did.

Greetings,

Part of life is working with challenging situations. I’ve pasted an article below that discusses how to work through challenges in an authentic manner:

Facing Challenging Situations Authentically

Good Luck!

I’m reading “Kick Start: A Cosmic Biker Babe’s Guide to Life and Changing the Planet”. This lady has IT, or at least a part of IT, that knowledge and power to change yourself and therefore the world around you.

I try to remind myself every day to live authentically. It is definitely a continuing practice.

I find I really crave this type of living and I also crave interacting with others who come from this place also. It feels so rewarding to live with “real” people.

For men, I’ve found this training to be helpful:
The Mankind Project

Here is a link to an article about authenticity:
Authenticity=Freedome

Good luck!

and not trying to be something that you’re not.