Found my soul mate and got married! 11 months ago
Entries from everyone
I think I’m on the verge – of several men! What’s wrong with me? To be honest i actually don’t know if I want to do this anymore! 3 years ago
I am a naturally cautious person.I think I would be great working for NASA as one of those scientists who sit around and brainstorm all the worst possible things that could go wrong on space expeditions (solar flares, mutinous captains, murderous computer systems), and propose step-by-step instructions that the astronauts will then drill on for 2 years before going on the expedition. The way I run my life is just like reading the worst-case scenario book. I always have a contingency plan, precautions in place, people who I’ve informed about my whereabouts and what to do in an emergency . There’s just one problem I can’t solve, and unfortunately, when it fails, it hurts miserably. Love is the one area of my life that I haven’t managed to fool-proof. Its just an impossible task. The only way to protect yourself from love is to abstain from it. If you have a contingency plan for love, you’ve already managed to destroy it. I am terrified of taking a risk on someone wonderful,but I feel like its time to throw caution to the wind. Maybe I’ll meet a great guy who thinks my cautious practicality is cute, maybe he’ll be one of those extreme sports guys and be impressed, or even grateful for my abilities to identify poisonous plants and dress a wound? 3 years ago
Our lives are taking us in different directions I guess – 2 hour drive away…not a huge distance but yeah I think it has more to do with how much our lives are going to change in the next few months, the fact that its getting harder to see each other, and missing each other makes us both growly and snappy…He is starting a new job, I have a lot of insecurities (check out previous posts if you don’t believe me) I should have taken the 2 years off after my divorce before getting seriously involved with anyone…but I didn’t listen to my mom and even though he broke up with me – I don’t regret not listening. Love isn’t enough at this time – but it doesn’t change the fact that atleast now I know I am capable of loving someone…and now I just have to focus on everything else I am capable of – like being a great mom, writing my book, and focusing on where my life is going to lead me. Who knows maybe when I grow and get past my insecurities and realize that no one can really love me if I don’t let them in all the way – I will be a lot happier. I am marking this off my list and replacing it with Stop Procrastinating because if there is one thing that the guy taught me – it was how to love…now if I find a way to be happier within myself and figure out how to be the best woman I can be…maybe then and only then will I attempt this goal again. For now I believe that I have completed it – and although its over now … he knows I love him – I told him – and I seriously can’t see those feelings dissapearing anytime soon. From day one he always made me want to be a better person – now I’m focused on doing just that…if in the end we get back together and live happily ever after – yay! That’s what was meant to be…if he finds happiness somewhere else – thats okay too. Even though I’m hurting now – and I don’t know what my future has in store with me…I know one thing for sure – I did fall ridiculously, wrecklessly, head over heels in love with him…and I don’t regret it. 3 years ago
All that matters now is the way he makes me feel – with my head resting on his shoulder and his hand protectively holding mine…he came into my life to change it and he has. Whether or not we last isn’t going to change the fact that I care so much about him…and I hope to God he knows that. Some say he feels the same for me – that he is just as scared as I am…I don’t know – all I know is that I’m happy for the first time in my life and although I’m scared of this happiness…I refuse to let it go so yeah…it might end badly – and I might end up even more of a broken soul then ever before but guess what…I now know what its like to honestly, truthfully and madly love someone for who he is-not for whether or not he loves me back. 3 years ago
This sucks – he’s loved someone very much and so he doesn’t want to fall in love…he’s been with someone who had kids and they all got attached and he acted more like a dad to them then the men she brought thru their lives…so he doesn’t meet kids anymore.
I’m in love with him and I have 3 wonderful kids – I don’t stand a chance against HIS past loves…I don’t get why I keep trying. 3 years ago