Do 20 things in the 2 years I have left in my 20's

I now have less than a year to complete this list and am a bit gutted that I already feel some of them just wont be achieved!

Anyway, general sort out… see whats going on

1. Run another 10k race
2. Go to America
3. Make baby number 2
4. Find a job which I enjoy
5. Have professional photos taken
6. Take my family to see places from my childhood
7. Learn and accept who I am
8. Get married
9. Make me-time a part of my week
10. Enjoy quality time with BashfulC
11. Write a book
12. Go to a nightclub
13. Go to a themepark
14. Have a day at the Spa
15. Get a routine going
16. Do something Ive never done before!
17. Take photos
18. Become a proficient cook
19. Grow my own
20. Be a good friend, keep my good friends

Am getting very close to being half way through the time allowed for this goal, and there is such a lot I havent achieved… time for a little checkup…

1. Run another 10k race – not yet achieved
2. Go to America not likely to be achieved
3. Make baby number 2 ACHIEVED!
4. Find a job which I enjoy Not yet achieved
5. Have professional photos taken ACHIEVED
6. Take my family to see places from my childhood ACHIEVED
7. Learn and accept who I am IN PROGRESS
8. Get married Not yet achieved
9. Make me-time a part of my week Not yet achieved
10. Enjoy quality time with BashfulC IN PROGRESS
11. Write a book Not yet achieved
12. Go to a nightclub Not yet achieved
13. Go to a themepark Not yet achieved
14. Have a day at the Spa Not yet achieved
15. Get a routine going IN PROGRESS
16. Do something Ive never done before! Not yet achieved
17. Take photos IN PROGRESS
18. Become a proficient cook IN PROGRESS
19. Grow my own IN PROGRESS
20. Be a good friend, keep my good friends IN PROGRESS

SO there are a good number of things in progress, and I have achieved 3 things… so hopefully Im sort of on track with this one.

We went up to Yorkshire for a couple of days this Easter, so I am at least getting through a few of these sub-goals!

We set off on Friday morning, the journey was slightly stressful as Oren was in his new carseat and the newness of being able to look forward meant he found it difficult to fall asleep in it. We reached Leeds and checked in our hotel and then walked into Leeds for a little bit of a wander around the shops. We stopped at a starbucks for a lovely frapaccino and a sandwich. The weather wasnt great so we didnt wander over to some of the places which we would have looked at otherwise. We went around some of the nice shooping arcades and then we tried to buy Oren a ‘Big Brother’ tshirt in Harvey Nics but they dont make them for children under 2 yrs old! So there is obviously an assumption that most people have a 3 yr age gap between kids – hiuh. Was not impressed! We did buy Oren some new socks from Gap and a cute pink hooded baby suit for BabyB2.

We did find ourselves getting annoyed though at the layout and attitude of some people… in Gap, they put the baby section on the top floor and the maternity section on the basement floor – so we had to use the (very very VERY slow) lift to get to where we wanted to go. Why put the clothes for pregnant women and people with kids (and therefore probably buggies) on the least accessible floors?

Then in Harvey Nics we encountered another VERY slow lift. And of course when it finally reached us, it was full of people who all looked perfectly able to travel using the escalators (not even stairs!! escalators!!) So there is us trying to squeeze in Oren in his buggy and me with my huge bump. Then the lift goes down a floor and there is another poor mum who is waiting for the lift with her buggy but there is no room… do any of the perfectly able bodied people get out to make space for her? No. So she had to wait until the lift made its way back to her… oh so slowly. I was really unimpressed at the complete cheek and lazyness of people. Its a real pain in the ass when you are physically impeeded in some way (dodgy pregnancy hip or buggy and baby) and the only way which you can travel between floors is the lift, which is full of people who could travel between floors in any way they like! Huh. Anyway, rant over. I can imagine when I have two babies in my buggy that I will start ranting at all these people who abuse lifts, and parents parking spaces, etc.

Anyway, after our wander around Leeds we went back to the hotel, Oren had a crawl around (and spent a lot of time in the mirror snogging himself!) and then we ALL had a nap – we were all knackered as we all had colds and my pelvis was really aching after walking for so long in the drizzle.

We then went to the restaurant next door for dinner, Oren sat with us for the beginning of the meal, and then when he had finished, BashfulC went to put him down to bed in our hotel room, while we had a couple of drinks.

On the Saturday we left Leeds and drove towards Bradford. BashfulC was not impressed at the sheer volume of speed cameras. We must have passed at least 30 of them in our 25 minute drive to Bradford. We were driving over to Baildon where I grew up. I showed BashfulC the village, and the two places I most remember living in as a kid, one of them where my parents still live now.

Oren had fallen asleep so we drove over to where I had gone to school which is in Manningham, the area of Bradford where the race riots were most prevalent 10 years ago. Once Oren had woken up, we drove over to Saltaire. We walked through Saltwaire to the Shipley Glen tramway (which was closed, but I knew it was going to be) and we walked up the pathway next to the tramway to the top of the hill it travels up – which was about a mile. Poor BashfulC was not impressed at having to push a buggy up a steep hill for a mile! Although being 8 months pregnant with my dodgy hip I wasnt finding that it easy either lol!
We got to the top which takes you back onto Baildon Moor and we walked sat on some rocks for while, and Oren had a snack and played in puddles. We then had a cup of tea in a little tearoom on the edge of the Moor which is open 7 days a week, all year around, bar Christmas! I thought it was amazing this little shop in the middle of nowhere was open all the time! It was a cute place though, it was obviously somewhere that the locals all went to hang out together too with a cup of tea and bacon sandwich! There were loads of people with dogs walking around (Im not used to seeing so many dogs!) and Oren loved looking at them and trying to stroke them!

After some tea and teacakes (BashfulC loved the northern prices!) we walked back down the tramway path. A funny moment came at the bottomw when we saw a family who were out for the day heading for the tramway. They had almost walked off the set of a comedy about a northern family from a council estate. They were obviously out with an elderly relative for the day who was in a wheelchair being pushed by the teenage son. As they passed us they asked if the tram was open and the look of pure horror on their face when I said no… they then asked whether the park and amusement centre which used to be at the top was still there, and I said no that there was only a tea room. At that point the mu with giant hoop earrings turned around and yelled to her son pushing the granny in the wheelchair (who was a fair way in front by then!) ‘Bring ‘er back!!!!’

It was very funny. They had obviously made a real effort to treat her to a special day (think it was her birthday) as we later saw them waiting at the busstop to go back home. It was really the kind of family that most people would look at disregard as being a bit rough, but bless them they had obviously planned a special day for her which hadnt panned out.

We stopped at a park and Oren played on the swings for a little bit. I sat on a baby swing next to him and promptly got wedged in!

Then we went back to Saltaire and mooched around Salts Mill for a while, and I was racking my brains trying to remember what I knew about Saltairs history to tell BashfulC about. We looked at some of the art gallery in the Mill, then we looked around a bookshop they had there (a lovely bookshop) and then we stopped for lunch. Unfortunately our timing was all a little off and Oren was not in a good mood at this point. He was really hungry and very tired. We all wolfed our lunch down, which was a shame as it would have been nice to take it a bit more slowly! Then we let Oren sleep in his carseat while we went for a drive around some of the moorland. We stopped after a while as there were also ice cream vans randomly parked up on the moors, and we sat on a bench for a while looking at the view and eating ice cream. We didnt spend too long there though as it was still a little bit chilly and obviously Oren was sleeping in the car.

We then set off into Bradford city centre as I was looking for Peacocks to buy Oren some babygrows (as I didnt find one in either Leeds or Bradford is this just a southern shop?) BashfulC was not impressed that all of Bradford city centre is on a very steep hill!! We went in the Waterstones which is in the old wool exchange building – really pretty. BashfulC was also amazed at how many Greggs shops there are up north! In Bradford, every 10th shop is a Greggs bakers (im not exaggerating) so no matter where you are, you can pretty much see one! It was quite amusing.

We once again had dinner at the restaurant next to the hotel that evening, while Oren slept. But then Oren was up a lot during the night, which was quite stressful as we were worried about him crying waking up other people, so were trying everythind we could to settle him.

On the Sunday we intended to drive home, having brunch on the way and stopped at a big garden centre in Grantham. Unfortunately, Oren scuppered our plans for brunch by not napping and then getting into a real grouch, and then the garden centre we wanted to go to was closed! So we ended up stopping at a country park near home which charged a ridiculous amount for parking, and we had tea and cake there and went for a quick stroll. We then all went home, ate lots of Easter eggs and I had a long nap.

So all in all, it was a fairly successful trip. It was a little stressful being in a single hotel room wih a baby – but I had expected it to be! The trip was slightly marred by us all being full of cold, Oren still had his conjunctivitis and me with my dodgy pelvis, but I think we all did fairly well despite that.

What was nice is that it was ncie to come home. When we have been away previously I have not wanted to go home and always wanted the trips to last longer – but because our new house is so lovely I didnt feel that this time, which was really nice.

on this long list is to be actioned this Easter. I have just booked a hotel in Leeds for 2 nights, so that BashfulC, Oren & I can have a little explore of Yorkshire. I am yet to formulate the exact plan, but will basically consist of shopping in Leeds, wander around Baildon (village where I grew up) and if the weather is nice, a walk on Baildon Moors – pictured. Then depending on what local sites BashfulC is interested in seeing we could have a wander over to Bronte country, to Saltaire, Bradford… should be a fun trip. Will be a bit strange as the last time I was there was a pretty bad time, and most of my memories of there arent great, but parts of it are lovely and it will be nice to share those.

A lot has changed since the last time I did a sweeping update on these 20 goals, so am going to do a generic update here…

1. Run another 10k race
Well this is going to have to wait until I am physically able to train! Hopefully Ill be able to tick this off the list in the first half of 2010.

2. Go to America
We were very close to going at Christmas, but it didnt quite happen. We had to cancel our trip for a host of reasons. Out of all my sub-goals for this goal, I think this is the one which probably wont happen – due to financial pressures, age of our children, etc.

3. Make baby number 2
Aha! Well this is halfway done! I am now nearly 20 weeks pregnant, and so halfway through my pregnancy!

4. Find a job which I enjoy
This sub-goal has taken quite a journey over the last few months – what with applying for jobs, being offered one, me turning it down, deciding to go back to my old job, then deciding not to… I am currently a stay-at-home-mummy and it is a job which I enjoy. Longer term I hope to be able to create some working-from-home opportunities which will being in the £££ but also allow me to realise this goal completely.

5. Have professional photos taken
I am still planning to do this before the end of my pregnancy – so am currently doing a little bit of research…

6. Take my family to see places from my childhood
Planned… sort of. BashfulC & I have earmarked Easter weekend as time for a family-break, and so we will in likelihood head up to Yorkshire for a bit of shopping in Leeds, a bit of walking on the moors and some general mooching around places I once knew.

7. Learn and accept who I am
I almost want to change this subgoal to ‘be true to who I am’ as I think I have a pretty good self-awareness about who I am, but i sometimes try and push myself to do things which Im not really comfortable with. In certain amounts i know this is beneficial, but sometimes I need to just be able to say ‘No’ for the right reasons. I think Im getting better at this…

8. Get married
Certainly not going to happen this year, whether it will happen before I am 30 I am unsure.

9. Make me-time a part of my week
I dont get much time on my own – usually Saturday mornings I get a couple of hours while BashfulC is out at swimming lessons with Oren. I do really enjoy that time though, as its the only time all week when I know Im on my own. I need to try and fit this in just a little bit more.

10. Enjoy quality time with BashfulC
This has improved in some ways, and is a work in progress..

11. Write a book
No progress yet

12. Go to a nightclub
Not going to happen this year!

13. Go to a themepark
Impossible until 2010! I want to be able to go on the rides!

14. Have a day at the Spa
Nothing organised, am hopeful for after BabyB2 arrives.

15. Get a routine going
Getting back in the swing of a routine now :o)

16. Do something Ive never done before!
Nothing exciting that Ive thought of yet…

17. Take photos
Im great at taking them, but I need to get back in the habit of labelling them and storing them… which I let slip…

18. Become a proficient cook
Definitely am getting interested again in cooking, so this year should be one for really developing this sub-goal.

19. Grow my own
Well, we now have most of the basics required to make this goal happen, over the next few weeks I shall start cultivating my seedlings and hopefully by summer we will be reaping the rewards!

20. Be a good friend, keep my good friends.
Ive been a little bit rubbish at this lately. While I have been a bit depressed, it is harder to worry about the needs of other people. However, I am making big efforts (this week I think marks the start of this) and I shall be posting more about this sub-goal soon.

Yesterday I wrote as news was breaking of someone I knew who had committed suicide. Today a quick search of google shows that his death has made the national news, as one such example shows:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4308067/Headmaster-hangs-himself-in-school.html

There is an uncomfortable way in which in death he has become famous but in life, for all the hard work he did, and the terrific headteacher and person that he was he was barely known outside of his town.

I am also frustrated at all those who judge his actions. No one knows what it was that made him go through the routine that Tuesday, keep up all his diary engagements, and then after the school day had ended (not during as some newspapers report) walking out into the secluded boiler house, locking the door and hanging himself. To me that is a man in absolute despair with no hope. In death he deserves only wishes of peace.

It just makes me think how sad it was that there was no one who was able to reach through the despair to keep him fighting. It makes you reflect that all the friendships and relationships we have with people are so important – for some you might be the thing in their lives keeping them going. Ive certainly been at the point of almost giving up, and only not giving in to it because of support I had from people at the time – not that they were ever aware of that.

It makes the ‘be a good friend’ element of this goal even more important to me – as I realise that although I am trying and succeeding, that there are still people I could do better with.

Its been a strange old day. I finished reading The Time Traveler’s Wife today, which was a beautiful book and has really made me reflect on a few things. Strangely it made me really think about how short life is, and how time is precious.

Then today the news has broken that someone I knew through work, the headteacher at a school, hung himself on school premises last night, and by the time he was found and the ambulance arrived, he had died. He was such a great guy, always very cheerful and so supportive of the work which we did with his pupils. It is such a tremendous loss, and I just know there will be so many people who will be wishing they had known & been able to help a man who was obviously suffering from a very devastating amount of private despair.

I also read a work email from last week which said that someone who works in our Lincolnshire branch had died from a stroke – she was only in her early 30s.

I dont know, perhaps these things are partly sent to act as reminders for the rest of us that life is precious and fragile. That we should embrace all opportunities while we can.

It makes me partly more determined in my current philosophy of making change if something is not working and not making you happy. Ive been through a period of mild depression recently, but I can see that the changes which BashfulC and I are now implementing are helping me come through the other side of that, and I am slowly returning to being a functioning human being again!

I just hope that over the next few precious months and then years that we are able to fully realise and appreciate all life has to offer.

Such dreadful circumstances, I hope he is now finally at peace from whatever suffering or torture he felt he couldnt escape.

Well Im only a few weeks into this goal and I have 2 years to complete it, but its always a good time to see how things are getting on…

Goals & Progress

1. Run another 10k race
Well Im back on the tredmill, be it only once a week at the moment. Im being forced to take this slowly as I was in quite a lot of pain following my session on Saturday. They do say that post-natal women should take care exercising for the first year after pregnancy, as all you joints are still loose – I now know what they mean. However, I will continue to train as much as I comfortably can, and hopefully will be ready to do a proper run in a few months.

2. Go to America
In theory this is happening at Christmas, providing we get Oren’s passport sorted in time and can actually afford the flights…

3. Make baby number 2
No progress on this for the time being! Hopefully it is something which we might try to progress May 09, following our wedding.

4. Find a job which I enjoy
Well, Im internet searching for jobs nearly every day. I applied for one and had an interview last week, which went pretty well though I was pipped at the post by another candidate. They have said they might still offer me the position, I find out later this week. The whole experience has given clarity to the fact that a job first and foremost much fit into my new lifestyle and circumstances, so Im sure this wont be as easy a goal as it sounds.

5. Have professional photos taken
No progress yet.

6. Take my family to see places from my childhood
No progress yet.

7. Learn and accept who I am
Lol, not sure on this one yet.

8. Get married
In theory is still all set for May 09, though we still dont have the exact date. We have organised the venue, guest list, dress, have ideas about the entertainment, photographer. Just need the exact date now in order to be able to consolidate a few things.

9. Make me-time a part of my week
I get 40 minutes at the gym every week, which is me-time. So some progress here.

10. Enjoy quality time with BashfulC
I think we are both trying a little harder with this one, and making time for conversations and doing things together – even if it is just watching the tv together! We seem to be getting out a bit more, and now Oren likes going to bed at 6/6.30pm it means we get every evening together as a couple.

11. Write a book
Have made a semi-start on this, but my writing flow is a bit slow at the moment and clumsy, so I need to give this some quality time.

12. Go to a nightclub
No progress yet.

13. Go to a themepark
No progress yet – maybe as part of various hen-celebrations?

14. Have a day at the Spa
No progress yet.

15. Get a routine going
Yes – some progress! Oren is now that little bit older and seems to be getting into a little bit more of a routine. He gets up at about 8am, has a nap in the morning (10.30ish) for about 40-60 mins and a nap in the afternoon (1.30ish) for about 60 – 90 mins. He then goes to bed anytime from about 6pm – 7pm. Between all of that he has 4 bottles during the day at 2 1/2 – 3 hour intervals, and then he gets woken up for a last bottle at 10pm.

I also have days when I tend to do things – Weds or Fridays tend to be my days for seeing people, Tuesdays tends to be my shopping day. I do manage to fit in the housework and cooking around all of that, and usually the house is quite presentable.

Im happy, because although I have a routine it isnt rigid, and I dont insist on trying to sprint round the supermarket in record time so Oren is home for his ‘nap time’. Life is pretty flexible, but there is a routine there for when I just need things to potter along and get done.

16. Do something Ive never done before!
Well, Im weaning a baby which Ive never done before… but Im holding out for something more extreme!

17. Take photos
Am taking lots of photos, and have roped BashfulC in so that he also takes photos sometimes, so that I am also in them! Ive got some lovely ones of Oren (see attached) and we got some super photos on BBQ weekend when I had my Uni friends over.

18. Become a proficient cook
Definitely getting better!

19. Grow my own
The season isnt quite right for major progress in this area, but we still have loads of apples which we need to harvest before we loose them all to rotting on the ground, and which Im going to see if I can make baby apple purees from and freeze them. I may just freeze a lot of apples for future use, and try and find some inspiring recipes, as Im a bit bored of making Apple and XXX crumbles!

20. Be a good friend, keep my good friends.
I think this is going pretty well. I have a couple of work friends with children, who I am keeping in regular contact with and who I am seeing. I have a couple of other mummy friends, who again I am making an effort to call and arrange to meet up with. I am getting used to getting in a babysitter in order to allow BashfulC and I the chance to go out with friends. And recently I made a big effort for my university buddies who all travelled a long way to come and see us, and I hope to continue making that effort. So all in all, I think this is probably the goal which I have made msot progress in so far.

So yes, I am happy with progress on my goals so far – I hope that Ill be able to cross off many of these by the time my 29th birthday comes around!

Today was a big step forward for my sub-goal of ‘Be a good friend, keep my good friends’. BashfulC & I hosted a BBQ at home today (it also happened to be the World Conker Championship taking place opposite our house).

We had around a couple who we are good friends with who also have a toddler, and three of my university buddies! It was Newnham reunited after 6 years and it was really good fun! I think now we have got together, we will hopefully be a lot more proactive about staying in touch.

I was also quite proud of myself as i think I achieved a little bit of sub-goal ‘Become a proficient cook’ this weekend, as I prepared all the food for the BBQ – and instead of taking the easy way out, I made all of my own burgers and kebabs, as well as doing potato skins, chili and two desserts :o) It wasnt all perfect, but I think I got lots of brownie points for the effort.

We went out on the Saturday night, and probably for the first time in 8 months, I felt like my old self – relaxed, happy, and vaguely attractive! Hopefully this will continue…

So all in all, a fun weekend!

Well I am now officially 28, and so here is the list of the 20 things which I am going to aim to accomplish in the last 2 years of my 20s.

1. Run another 10k race
The one and only race I have done to date was in March 2007, and I loved it. It was really challenging, and I would like to do it again to prove to myself that I can!

2. Go to America
For most of my teenage years I have dreamt about going to America, but still never been.

3. Make baby number 2
I really want to have finished baby-making by the time I am in my very early 30s, for a number of reasons. Mainly that if BashfulC & I have all our children close together, they will all be leaving home at around the same time when they grow up, which will have a big impact on our relationship. Also, while all the baby-making and mummyhood is going on, I am taking something of a career break and at some point I would like to get back on the track.

4. Find a job which I enjoy
I really do not enjoy working where I do anymore, and I do not want to have a part of my life which I dread and hate, as I dont like what it does to me as a person. I know I have some great experience and skills, and I should be able to find something better, which I enjoy and which fits in with my life better.

5. Have professional photos taken
I wish I had done this when I was pregnant with Oren. If we are lucky enough to get pregnant again, I would love to do this, and I have to do it with baby number 2 incase I dont get a baby number 3!

6. Take my family to see places from my childhood
There are some places from my childhood which I would like to share with BashfulC and Oren – mainly places in Yorkshire but there are a couple of other places which I went as a child which I would love to revisit with my new family. I doubt Ill get to go back to all of these in the next 2 years, but it would be good to do some of them.

7. Learn and accept who I am
I think I still have issues around trying to be somebody Im not, and trying to please other people. I really want to be confident of who I am, and not feel like Im ‘trying’ quite as often.

8. Get married
There is a lot to do over the next few months to ensure that this wedding goes ahead… as its been rescheduled twice now, I know that inactivity would just lead to the same outcome, so I am determined to make sure it doesnt.

9. Make me-time a part of my week
Im almost too lazy at the moment for me-time. I sit down on the sofa at the end of the day and end up wasting time. I really want to take more opportunity to turn a few of those hours into time where I do nice things for myself. I think after running around after people all day, I deserve it!

10. Enjoy quality time with BashfulC
At the moment, BashfulC and I spend time together, but it is not really quality time, it is more time spent co-existing while we both do other things. I really want more quality time spent together as a family, and more moments which will be nice memories for the future.

11. Write a book
Have decided what the book is that Im going to write, so now I just need to do it!

12. Go to a nightclub
This seems a strange goal, but it has been a couple of years since Ive been to a club and I figure that it is something Im very unlikely to do in my 30s and beyond! So Id like to get in one last night of dancing and drinking, perhaps with BashfulC as we havent been to a club together… with a baby around this will be a more difficult one than it seems!

13. Go to a themepark
I really want to go to a themepark, as Ive only ever really been to one once, and I really enjoyed it. Here’s hoping!

14. Have a day at the Spa
I had a lovely day at the spa last year, and some lovely spa treatments when I was on holiday in the Maldives. It is so lovely to get pampered!

15. Get a routine going
I am more organised than I have ever been in my life… and as time goes on I think I am going to need to be even more organised in order to make sure everything gets done and everyone is where they need to be at the right time! So Id like to try and get myself into a routine, which after a while becomes second nature rather than forced. Think it will help life go a lot more smoothly!

16. Do something Ive never done before!
Sounds a bit strange, but I would like to make time for a new experience – my 20s have been a great time for trying lots of new things, finding new hobbies, achieving things I never thought possible, etc. I want to make sure that I dont go all lame in my last 2 years, and that I continue to experience life.

17. Take photos
Im pretty good at doing this at the moment, but I want to make sure that I keep it up. There are periods of my life which I just dont have photographic records of, and I want to make sure that from hereon I do have a record of my life.

18. Become a proficient cook
Im so much better and more creative with my cooking than I have ever been in my life. I really want to spend the last couple of years of my 20s honing this skills, so that in my 30s I am a woman who can really cook well.

19. Grow my own
I want to be able to be a slightly more self-sustainable family and to grow more food which we eat. We made a valient attempt this year, with mixed results. A bit more planning and I would like to be growing food which, especially over the summer, ends its life on our plates.

20. Be a good friend, keep my good friends.
Over the last few years, I have had friends come and go. Looking at my life now, I think I have a really good bunch of friends (who I see fairly regularly and are more involved in my life than at any other time previously! I really want to be as good a friend as I can to these people, to continue to cultivate our relationships.