Since I’ve been old enough to hold a job, I have found that I like things. Big things, little things, ugly things, pretty things. I shop when I’m sad. when I’m happy. when i’m nostalgic. when I’m bored. This summer, I began my journey of a new career that unfortunatly is commission based only. I’ve been without income going on 4 months now and have come to terms with how “things” have taken over my life, my income, and my happiness. I added this goal, not only out of need, but as a way of changing who i am, how i think, and how i spend. i have begun this slowly. No television. One light in the house on at a time. Shopping for generic food only. I haven’t bought new clothes now in over 3 months which is a LIFETIME in my past reality. I don’t eat out anymore and I refuse to wash my jeans until I’ve worn them a few times. This has been one of the hardest parts of me going through my lack of job/income-I can’t afford to go out and have a drink with friends or see a movie no matter how many times they ask. I can’t afford to go and drive for the fun of it like I used to-i can’t afford the gas. My emotions have desolved into a feeling of total and utter guilt with ever dollar that I spend and with ever swipe of my debit card. ‘Least to say, my mood has a long haul in leveling out to being the happy person I once was… but until then, I’m going to go eat some Ramen.