Cutting back on snacks available to me from now on. From now on if I want to eat I need to be bothered to prepare and cook it first :) 13 months ago
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I’ve got to turn of this self destruct mode. I’ve got to stop yanking my body through the wheels of binge-diet-binge. I blink my eyes once and my body is a temple. I blink my eyes twice and it’s a mudhouse.
I’ve got to stop feeling guilt. I’ve got to stop treating each binge as a cause to sit there, slump into self pity, yearning for a DeLorean, a doc and a life preserver. I’ve got to stop hating the body that I’m in. Okay, so it’s not perfect. Sure, I can’t bounce nickels off my behind like a kids off a trampoline. Sure, it’s not a panoramic land view of flesh, curvature and muscle definition. But I’m more than my body and compared to what it looked a year ago. Heck, angels could weep about it if they saw the before picture from a while back. It’s a work in progress, but that doesn’t mean you have to slump in disgust at the construction site.
Plus, you know why you binge eat. It’s a simple thing. It’s your fail safe escape mechanism. The CTRL ALT DELETE of all your anxiety problems. Whenever life gives you lemons, find the lemon cake, eat two of them, and then life’s lemons are forgotten about. You just sit there worrying about the after effect of your munchies. About how all your problems stem from your eating. About how all you care about is your weight. And then you devise a plan. A simple plan of how you’ll eat tomorrow. How you’ll exercise. How you’ll lose weight and how everything will magically get better. But just face the facts amigo, just because your ass is taut, doesn’t mean life will start shooting sunrays and unicorns out of it. You’ll still get your designate upload of unpleasantries and difficulties. What will you turn to then? The fridge? 14 months ago