be more ambitious

I realized something about myself recently. I’m afraid of success. I don’t know why I seem to impose this glass ceiling on myself – for eg., I know X will be a great opportunity – but I can’t seem to push myself forward. It’s almost as if I feel better sitting by the sidelines, saying “Hey I had that opportunity!” or “If I had done that, I would have gotten it”… feeling smug instead of disappointed in myself. It’s as though I settle for mediocre when I can score with exceptional.

I remember when I applied for a job in the past, I said something about myself not being very ambitious… that I’m contented with a job that pays enough for me to have peace of mind, yet one that doesn’t require too much of me. (Although you can actually go far in any job, as long as you’re willing to put in the effort.) But am I really content with that? I don’t want to just settle.

I think I just need to find the reasons to keep me motivated. Sometimes I’ve wondered why I seem to have no energy to do anything. But I realize that I’m not a low-energy person, I just need to find the things that inspire me. I can be a real rocket, full of boundless energy when it comes to doing the things I love. I can stay up all night writing, endure bruises while dancing… I know what I’m capable of.

Alot of the time, I waste time doing the things I think I’m “supposed” to be doing or because someone else is doing it. I need to reach deep into myself to discover what it is that excites ME. What it is that gets me enthusiastic, that I am willing to get out of the bed for. I’m not doing this for anyone else except myself. I need to know exactly why I’m doing something, even if it’s just for fun. And most importantly, I need to work hard to make my dreams come true.

I need a lot of hard work in marketing, I’ve got two drivers and two salesmen, my drivers are used for deliveries of rice in local market where as the salesmen go door to door to acquire more sales. I have very little time on planet earth. i want to be make a lot of profit, i have tried a lot of variations dividing my customers by demographs. Im chasing to be rich and powerful and this is what i like about life, a lot of financial muscle is required to really build myself. Its about spending time on the field of work that one is pursuing. Im passionate about selling, and hoping to meet all my goals before i’m 40, so i can enjoy them. I have no debt on me, and i want to keep it this way, I want to make more money, it satisfies me. Profit gives me a certain sense of achievement. Im not going to challenge myself on my values and focus only on my goals.

Actually this was what lead me to this site… I am just not putting enough effort at becoming the best that I can be at whatever I am doing!

So there’ve been about a gajillion articles on Pittsburgh in the nat’l news lately, and in order to cash in on the hype I’m going to ask Vice Magazine about being their official Pittsburgh correspondent. I figure Vice’s bar is pretty low.

I think I just want to be more active with my goals and let my inspirations lead me!

Being really ambitious is terrible unless you’re also really capable.

I can’t stop this, it’ll be like a form of death if I do.

We only have a certain number of days on this earth and each one is precious – spend my time wisely. What is really important and what is just crap? Focus on the important and leave the crap to people who care about it.