get accepted into the university of oregon

For awhile there I was really losing my mind because I was freaking out about even getting accepted. That’s the goal in its entirety!

I was worried because my unweighted GPA is around a 2.64. But weighted, it’s like a 3.3 or something.

GPA is a big thing for colleges.

But then I realised that if I kick enough ass on the SAT, and maybe the ACT if I take that too, I can forget about worrying.

The SAT could be my ticket in. 1 day ago

When people buy me things. Any gifts at all. Just, bad.

My mom must have told my grandpa that I graduated. He sent me a really nice card and some crossword cutout thing, and a $100 check.

I’m thinking of using the money to buy 11 days of master cleanse supplies. A little ‘hey, you’re doing this for you’ kind of thing. A celebration of recovering from bulimia more than a year ago, and constantly trying to improve.

The state of my mind is sometimes hell. 3 days ago

I graduated today.

High school’s over.

I’m getting sent my diploma soon.

! 1 week ago

But I get 99 percent of the SAT Questions of the Day correct. That is, the language and grammar-related ones.

The mathematical questions can kiss my ass. 3 weeks ago

These twenty steps that I’ve configured (though vague) are the 20 I will take to get into UO.

1. Figure out profession by narrowing down/pros & cons _Novelist

2. Study my Driver’s Ed notes THOROUGHLY

3. Take Drivers Ed test, until I pass

4. Get my permit

5. Practice driving

6. Get a job(not at a fast food joint) that pays good

7. Saving up money? It starts NOW.

8. Sign up for Senior year classes

9. Write my senior exit (topic: Whaling is bad)

10. Pass all of my classes

11. Ace my senior exit presentation like a boss

12. Get my driver’s license if I haven’t already

13. Take a year or two off from school while focusing on my job OR go to CPCC/UNCC while having my job for the same duration so that my resume looks better

14. Write Yale, Cornell, and Harvard for my rejection letters

15. Get a car ( I will have money to blow by now)

16. Find Oregon housing costs/other expenses. Dorm or apartment???

17. Keep saving money until I have enough (months)

18. Apply to University of Oregon (and other universities, based on my profession)

19. Get accepted to UO

20. Drive (or get) to Eugene, Oregon

And that is how it’s done. No doubt it’s a hell of a lot easier to type this all up than to do it. But it’s going to happen, because when you want something bad enough you MAKE it happen. :) 14 months ago

my family doesn’t understand the difficulties of this goal. I live 2000 miles away from the college I want to go to. I don’t have a car, a licence, money, a job… no backups.

Once things get going, I get one shot at this. There is no strike 2. 3 months ago

I imagined myself driving across the states to Oregon in a shoddy little car. But would a plane be easier, less pricey, faster… or all three?

I will need a car when I’m in college, I would think. But now it appears nothing appears as it first did. Things are changing themselves in a number of ways. 6 months ago

I’ve been signing up for tons of scholarships and just hoping, that out of the thousands of people that entered, I am chosen for at least one.

I need this so badly! Most kids have at least some type of savings account. I don’t.

Ways to make money, ways to make money… 6 months ago

I just had a nice little chat with my family.

It is true, they even said it. They thought I was JOKING when I said I was going to Oregon!

I’m going to let you in on a little secret, family: I am going.

You clearly don’t believe in me, you even said it to me ten minutes ago. You laughed! With such … condescending disbelief. Why the fuck would a middle-class girl like myself even think that I would be leaving for college in the next “5 years”?

What a fucking joke! Believe me, I’ve thought long and hard about how the hell I’m going to pay for college. I don’t give a flying fuck about having to confront my social anxiety if it means Oregon is in the picture.

It all comes down to money. And the fact that my family doesn’t think I’ll ever, EVER go to Oregon is just fuel to my drive.

It all comes down to money.

Money!

This leaves me only once choice: If I can’t save up enough, if I don’t get any scholarships, if I don’t win any poetry contests, and if I can’t get any loans or money from relatives for college expenses, there’s just one sane option left:

I have to publish a book. A damn amazing book.

Oh, so you’re laughing too?

I have no doubt in my mind I could get published. Every time I walk into a library, I look at shelves with thousands of authors. 50% of them are crap, 10% are just lucky, 35% have good connections, and that last tiny 5%?

That’s where I fall in. These are the legendary writers. These are the good stories.

And that five percent is where I’m putting my hopes and dreams on the line for college.

Unless, you know, I come into a ridiculously large sum of money. Like 30k or more. 6 months ago

I was looking at tuition.

Oregon residents’ tuition is HALF of a person’s out-of-state tuition.

To be considered a resident of Oregon I have to have lived there for a solid year.

So a year before going to the acutal university, I should be living there for 12 months, probably sharing rent with some stranger and saving up cash with some job somewhere.

So in like 2 to 3 years … I’ll move up there for a year before school.

Exciting! 6 months ago

I am just continuously wondering how the fuck i am going to pay for college.

Not even just the college; but rent, books, water, electricity.

No wonder people go to community college and live in trailer parks. Fuck my life. 7 months ago

This morning I woke up and was reading for about ten minutes when I got the random spell of ‘awareness and fear’ mixed together into one horrible feeling.

I was thinking about Oregon.

I never thought about it; how I’m so used to sleeping in late mornings, no job.

No contact with society. Not having to deal with people.

I really don’t have a lot of responsibilities right now.

No bills to pay.

And I don’t think I’ve ever realized how this is going to affect me in college.

Is there such a term as, “Out-of-State college anxiety”?

I may have just coined a new term, with my limited vocabulary.

I’ve also thought repeatedly, how am I going to be healthy in college?

I won’t have much money for ridiculously priced coconut oil and organic this and that.

Also, when will I be able to work out?

I wanted to join the track team for U of O.

If I don’t make the team, then what?

Telling yourself everything will be fine doesn’t do much good. 7 months ago

^Yep. That is the legitimate name of my summer online course.

My average right now: 97.44%! 7 months ago

It is clearest now: no one believes I will do this one.

Not even my mom or two sisters.

I just noticed something the other day: every time I mention the word ‘oregon’, they all just sort of look around and down on the floor like they’re in on some secret.

“Oh, by the way: You’ll never go anywhere. Especially not a thousand miles away from here.”

I’m not really sure what to say to this. And how will they react when I actually get accepted, and tell them I’m leaving?

Will they laugh in my face? 7 months ago

they see me as unique and mysterious with my online school skills. 8 months ago