Pace myself

on the smaller level, this applies to my running: i start off strong, but as the miles go by, the slower and slower i go, the less and less energy i have (or think i have), until i’m walking and want to die… on a bigger level, the running bit is a metaphor for my life. i need to start slower than i want to and maintain that energy, instead of springing right out of the gate and losing steam halfway…

I’ve spent the last few weekends in London, catching up with friends. I’ve also been staying with a friend a few nights each of the past couple of weeks, in an effort to help her remain sane whilst her hubby’s had to work down in London… entertaining her very bright and energetic 18-month old son is certainly a fun but exhausting job.

I hit a wall this weekend. After arriving in London at 1am on Saturday morning, then packing boxes until 3:30am, my cousin and I were up at 7am to see the boxes collected. We spent a day out sight-seeing with another friend, and had a lovely day visiting the Tower of London and the London Eye.

By the time we’d finished dinner, I’d run out of energy, and had a raging headache. It got to the point that I was physically ill after we arrived home that night. 10pm saw me asleep in bed, and I was still headachy most of today. Almost didn’t cope with the train-ride back to Brum. I believe a lack of sleep and dehydration were the main culprits.

I’d fully intended to be in bed by 11pm tonight, but haven’t quite made it there. Going to bed now, and I’ll have to make it an early night tomorrow. Might need to spend a few nights at home this week, I think.

I am on the road (once again)to overinvesting myself (my time, energy, and money) in my job and to neglecting myself, my family, and my health. It’s so easy to do, that I don’t even realize I’m doing it, until I look back over the last month and see how I’ve made 12 – 15 hour work-days my norm. I’ve been working on the weekends and in the evenings. I’m dreaming about my class. I’m not taking care of myself very well or spending time with friends like I should.
Well…..
I’m making a U-turn right now! I have been down this road and I know from experience that it leads to exhaustion, burn-out, overweight, stress, and regrets! Not going there! No way!

when I’ve made no effort whatsoever to suppress my night-owl instincts. I’ll have to proof-read all of today’s report-writing. That’ll teach me.

(Who am I kidding? It probably won’t. Silly LL.)

Bah. I need coffee.

is a Speech Pathologist with no voice?

Little. Very little at all. ;-D

Mind you, I’m crap at following even the basic pointers for resting a sore and strained voice. “Do as I say…”

I felt pretty much fine all weekend… a little tired, but nothing like last week.

This morning, however, I woke up with a scratchy throat, which has become worse as the day went on (I was hoping that perhaps I’d just fallen asleep with my mouth open and dried my throat out). My head hurts and is hot, my neck and shoulders feel as though they’re made of rock, and I have that awful ‘here it comes’ ache throughout my body. Pretty certain at this stage that I’m coming down with something.

Yuck.

I’ve had my dose of ‘Zinc Fix’ to try and knock whatever it is on the head, and I’m about to take some paracetemol. Shower and bed to follow closely.

:-(

Now feeling completely fuc wrecked.

The fact that a few days ago, the guy who does the gardening here cut down the tree outside my bedroom hasn’t helped in the slightest. After working through ‘til close on Friday and Saturday nights… I woke up at 7am both this morning and yesterday, thanks to the morning light that now gets in through my window. Which means I’ve had only about eight or nine hours sleep for the two nights.

I’ve been headachey and tired for most of today… thankfully I was able to finish up at 8PM tonight, instead of working until close at 11PM. I’m considering asking to cut back on my hours, but when I think about it, other people manage to do this with much less difficulty (and whinging) than I am. My current thinking is that if I’m better prepared, it won’t be such a problem. I need to make sure I’m getting enough sleep during the week (which, frankly, I should have been doing anyhow)... and put a sheet or summat over my window, to block out the extra light.

Funnily enough, my horoscope had this to say for the last couple of days:

Oct 13th 2006

Growth is a good thing, but you should take a break from pushing yourself right now. Today will not be best spent challenging yourself or starting difficult (if revelatory) conversations. Settle in to a routine right now, and find comfort in doing the same things in familiar patterns. There is something to be said for predictability … plus, if things never got boring, shaking them up again would not feel nearly as wonderful. Let the dust settle on your newly renovated life.

Oct 14th 2006

If it’s at all possible today, avoid driving or operating any heavy machinery. If this sounds like a prescription label to you, then just think of it as a prescription for your day. The big problem will be your energy—it will not be dependable. Expect mood swings that send you off in unexpected directions. Your mind will wander with little (if any) provocation. Recent revelations on your mind may keep you from fully focusing on the tasks that demand your attention.

Worked last night, and I didn’t finish until 1.30AM. Hung around for about an hour, enjoying a knock-off drink with the guys. That’s one of the things I really miss about being able to spend so much time with my brothers-in-law… just sitting around and having a bit of a laugh with the boys.

On the way home, I stopped in at Danny’s Takeaway for a burger… the thought of which possibly sounds gross, but the food is tasty and fresh, and that’s a bonus when it’s almost 3AM and you’ve eaten nothing since lunchtime. Got home, ate my ‘dinner’... and woke up at about 7AM to find I’d fallen asleep on the couch.

I’m working again tonight (Sat) and tomorrow night (Sun)... but I think I’ll have to remind them that I really can’t work the whole weekend, every weekend. Not with a full-time job, at least.

Someone whose opinion really matters to me asked me this tonight. I felt really insulted and attacked by this and struck back by telling her SHE isn’t the right one to be talking to me about balance since SHE is a frenetic, over-invested work-aholic.
Looking back at my recent entries, though, I see they pretty much ARE mostly about running. After I finish my marathon next month I will need to think hard about my goals, my use of time, and whether or not I should get back into going to church.

I worked at the bar Friday night from 6pm ‘til 10pm, Saturday 6pm ‘til 2am… and then Sunday from 12 midday until 10pm. And that’s all following a fairly difficult couple of weeks at my full-time job (which I still haven’t explained, but ties in with my general state). Sunday morning I arrived home, gave out my cheers, and went to bed… only to get up again 8 hours later and go back to work.

However, tiring as it was… it’s great fun. I’m learning pretty quickly, the staff are great company, and most of the customers are quite entertaining. Saturday night I had a group of guys out for a 21st birthday trying to chat me up, closely followed by a quartet who sang a rather good rendition of the Beatles’ Michelle. Yeah, I know they were drunk, but it was still good for a laugh.

I just need to make sure that I keep the number of shifts to a minimum, particularly if I’m going to be on my feet for 8-10 hours at a time.