See my children off to university

My daughter was accepted into her dream university last year, but, at the last moment she decided not to go. I suspect it was because the university is on the other side of the country, and she got a boyfriend between the time she applied and the time she made her final decision not to go. She decided to take a year off, and I was supportive (but holding my breath). Last January, she decided to go to the very good local university next year and has even registered for all her classes now. YAY! The boyfriend’s still in the picture (and actually very sweet). It’s hard to be patient, but your son will get there! He might just need a bit of time to mature.

Previously mentioned horrid girlfriend (my opinion, not his) graduated this weekend. Lots of parties. Then she leaves for graduation trip. Then she leaves for college in another state.

What does my child do? Gets the job he was supposed to get 6 months ago. So now he’ll spend his summer working and working out, instead of JUST hanging out.

He also mentions that he has figured out how to bring his GPA up to something respectable. And when he’d like to retake the SATs. And that he may need help refiguring which colleges he can get into now.

Any questions why I don’t like this girl’s effect on my son? @@

Yay! I have my frustratingly independent, strong-willed, intelligent son back! I hope it lasts long enough to get him off to university. :)

He got his first serious girlfriend this year. . .she is rude, disrespectful and a bad influence on my son. She is also a senior. So he caught a case of senioritis from her and his grades plummeted. He just informed us of how bad they’re going to be.

He knows he screwed up. At the beginning of the year, he was in a great position to get into any university he wanted to, and now? I think we need to look for something with a rolling application deadline and decidedly less competitive.

He was never going to an Ivy league, but there were plenty of solid options on the table. Now his options are more limited.

It’s all about the choices you make and taking responsibility for those choices. Welcome to adulthood, kid.

::::sigh::::

So now the kid doesn’t want to take time out of his busy social schedule to do college visits. It was turning into a huge issue when suddenly I realized “So what?” He could go on college visits and end up going somewhere else. He could go on a college visit, like it, enroll and be unhappy. He could go somewhere he’s never seen and be perfectly happy.

College is the first really big “big boy” decision. He has to make the decision of where to go. If he chooses without visiting, then he gets to deal with the consequences. If it turns out he loves it, fine. If it turns out he made a big mistake, well, it probably won’t be his last.

Silly me, I wanted him to make an informed decision. But if he wants to just make a decision, regardless of how informed it is, well, that’s why we have election years, right?

Dorkwad teenager thought spending time with his girlfriend was more important than studying for the SATs. He took the big test on Saturday, feels pretty good about it, but had trouble with the critical reading section. I knew he would. :::shaking head::: Teenagers.

We get the results back in 3 weeks or so. That will tell us 2 things:
1. He needs to take it again to raise his score, and
2. Which schools on his list he should be targeting, given his overall package (GPA, SAT & extra-curriculars).

Next up—College visits. Oh, the joy.

February was all about shortening the list. He had a list of about 25 colleges that we thought he had a pretty good chance of getting into (see www.collegedata.com for a good questionaire that will give you a long list to start with) and needed to shorten it.

We came up with several decision factors a couple of weeks ago (took about 10 mins). And in less than 20 minutes this past weekend, we shortened his list from 25 to 8, then added a couple of different schools in.

Next step—HE gets to take some virtual tours and decide on 2 or 3 schools to do college visits. With the SAT coming up within 2 weeks, I’m kind of expecting him to use this as an excuse not to study. Fortunately, there are 2 more test dates after this, if necessary.

Broke down the college application process and put it on a calendar for him. Went over it last week, so he understands that he doesn’t have to do it all, he just has to do one or two little things every month and he’ll be fine. Plus he gets a few months off where he doesn’t need to do anything.

Both my kids are SO independent. If you asked them, they’d say they’re perfectly capable of doing all this themselves. But when you’re 17, this process is so huge and overwhelming, it’s easy to go into paralysis. I wish I’d had someone to help me through it all at that age, which is why I’m doing for my kids what was never done for me.

I love the way I can see the burden lift off his shoulders once we go through things. At 17, the world shouldn’t be on your shoulders. And they’re too young to know that this decision, while important, isn’t the be-all and end-all of their lives. If they make a bad decision, they can change it. If they graduate in one thing and end up working in something else, that’s fine too. Most people do that.

One down and one to go! Oldest child is happily ensconced at UMass as of 2007-2008 school year. Youngest is a high school junior currently whittling the long list down to a short list of colleges to apply to.