See my children off to university

So now the kid doesn’t want to take time out of his busy social schedule to do college visits. It was turning into a huge issue when suddenly I realized “So what?” He could go on college visits and end up going somewhere else. He could go on a college visit, like it, enroll and be unhappy. He could go somewhere he’s never seen and be perfectly happy.

College is the first really big “big boy” decision. He has to make the decision of where to go. If he chooses without visiting, then he gets to deal with the consequences. If it turns out he loves it, fine. If it turns out he made a big mistake, well, it probably won’t be his last.

Silly me, I wanted him to make an informed decision. But if he wants to just make a decision, regardless of how informed it is, well, that’s why we have election years, right?

Dorkwad teenager thought spending time with his girlfriend was more important than studying for the SATs. He took the big test on Saturday, feels pretty good about it, but had trouble with the critical reading section. I knew he would. :::shaking head::: Teenagers.

We get the results back in 3 weeks or so. That will tell us 2 things:
1. He needs to take it again to raise his score, and
2. Which schools on his list he should be targeting, given his overall package (GPA, SAT & extra-curriculars).

Next up—College visits. Oh, the joy.

February was all about shortening the list. He had a list of about 25 colleges that we thought he had a pretty good chance of getting into (see www.collegedata.com for a good questionaire that will give you a long list to start with) and needed to shorten it.

We came up with several decision factors a couple of weeks ago (took about 10 mins). And in less than 20 minutes this past weekend, we shortened his list from 25 to 8, then added a couple of different schools in.

Next step—HE gets to take some virtual tours and decide on 2 or 3 schools to do college visits. With the SAT coming up within 2 weeks, I’m kind of expecting him to use this as an excuse not to study. Fortunately, there are 2 more test dates after this, if necessary.

Broke down the college application process and put it on a calendar for him. Went over it last week, so he understands that he doesn’t have to do it all, he just has to do one or two little things every month and he’ll be fine. Plus he gets a few months off where he doesn’t need to do anything.

Both my kids are SO independent. If you asked them, they’d say they’re perfectly capable of doing all this themselves. But when you’re 17, this process is so huge and overwhelming, it’s easy to go into paralysis. I wish I’d had someone to help me through it all at that age, which is why I’m doing for my kids what was never done for me.

I love the way I can see the burden lift off his shoulders once we go through things. At 17, the world shouldn’t be on your shoulders. And they’re too young to know that this decision, while important, isn’t the be-all and end-all of their lives. If they make a bad decision, they can change it. If they graduate in one thing and end up working in something else, that’s fine too. Most people do that.

One down and one to go! Oldest child is happily ensconced at UMass as of 2007-2008 school year. Youngest is a high school junior currently whittling the long list down to a short list of colleges to apply to.