Get through college without losing myself in the process

but its all better now :) i realized what was happening before it got bad. i was dating someone who expected me to be the person i was in like 8th grade. i am so different from that person now. but i started to revert back into my social anxiety and my depression got bad again. i had spent such a long time becoming the person that i am now that i was freaking out when i started to change back.

Fuck that.

Taoist dan says stay.

Taoist dan knows little about the world outside his backwater home though.

I’m going to the big city.

Try and stop me

Today the same English teacher threw my books out of class when I went to the bathroom.

Locked the door.

It really made me question if I wanted to be here, if I wanted to deal with all this nonsense for some silly piece of paper.

I think I do.
It is worth it to be here.

I might be ready to deal with the real world, but that doesn’t make leaving a good idea yet. People are so quick to run away from where they come from, thinking “what good can come of this place?”

Getting kicked out made me realize.
No matter where you go there are consequences.
You have to fight for what you believe in no matter what.
I’m going to stay the course, even if it means dealing with insane instructors and lack of any sort of nurturing environment.

After all,
The virtuous flower may bloom in the darkest of places.

I know I SAID I’d drop the Taoist nonsense but now I don’t know.
It keeps me tranquil on days like these.

I was in english.

My teacher was bantering on about some nonsense, like how she was proud of the fact that everytime her son brought home a school news letter she would gleefully bust out her red pen to correct all those “despicable” errors.

Everyone laughed as though it were funny.
I did too.

Not because I thought it was funny mind you
I was just amazed this woman got to procreate at some point.