marry the right person

How I did it: Well, I basically learned the difference between being selfish, and looking out for yourself... If i was in a relationship that I had to make excuses to stay in.. like "It'll get better"
"I can change him"
"Maybe it's supposed to be this way"
"No one's perfect..."
etc...
You have to give and take... but many women (and men) end up giving too much, or taking too much. If your taking too much, then you are in the selfish category, and if your giving too much, well, you aren't truly happy, perhaps from fear of appearing too selfish?
I found myself in a relationship where I was giving up too much of myself to please him. I didn't even realize it until one day I didn't ask his permission to do something (get a tattoo, a small one) and he almost threw me out of the house! (This was a boyfriend, not a husband- but someone that I considered marrying) That day I realized that I was no longer being myself- I was giving up too much of me... That situation is just mine... Im a very free spirit, outgoing, have fun, and all that jazz. I had become someone who had to ask permission to be myself. Not good.

I left a week later, lived by myself, and dated quite a few different people. Just movie and dinner dates, to get to know the different kind of people that were out there... and to get a better focus on what kind of person I was, and how I would be happy with myself. Because you can't truly be happy with someone else if you aren't happy with yourself.

I met Charles a little ways down the road, and we hit it off great! I draw, he paints; we both believe tattoos are a beautiful art of self-expression; we both agreed that school was something that was (still is) the most important thing to accomplish at this point in our lives; we both want to travel; and the list goes on.

There were DEFINATLEY rocky times, as with any type of relationship... but we worked through it together. We give and take equal amounts.
My hardest thing has been learning how to give in, -after the previous relationship I got extremely defensive when it came to giving in- and I still have to work on it and check myself.

Lessons & tips: If I had to give advice in one word on how to have a good relationship I guess it would be communication, without it it will never work out to where you are both truly happy.

Hmm also, for all the girls out there looking for their "Edward" (You know who you are!) Stop looking for him, and find yourself first!! I realize that sounds extremely hippie-dippie-ish, but it's true. I stopped looking and just started having fun... and we found eachother.

Resources: Friends, my Mom, and learning from mistakes!

Oct 29, 08:40AM PDT | 0 comments | 2 cheers