have a better relationship with my parents

I really believe this is coming along well, but unfortunately I feel that there are some dimensions of this problem that I cannot change. Confrontation only leads to more misunderstanding (accusing either one of my parents that they make wrong assumptions about me with no basis). I also can’t understand this because no matter how they are influenced they have me marked as a stereotypical kid. They are constantly worried that I will do what other kids will do and hurt myself, but in reality they are only holding me back. This interplay between their maternal/paternal instincts are critically damaging my ability to fulfill my dreams. I understand to a certain level the consideration of my families as well, I am not tolerant in any means. I want my brother to have the same opportunities and be treated just as fair as I am. I do believe though that we have reached a breaking point—my father almost cried at my writing teacher’s overly generous (in my opinion) compliments towards me (and remember, he is not an emotional man). This is a side I rarely see and I think that, I being his first child, he is afraid to let go and translates that fear into a parenting style.

my father and I have such conflicting personalities. My mother and I get along quite well, I can’t really completely express myself with her though, she is very opinionated and secure in her decisions. My father on the other hand, will attack anything you say and will not allow for any argument of what he says. i think i just need to comply with this realization in hope that he will respect my thought more if i do so.

i love them (ohsomuch)
but there is a (ohsotiny)
problem.
we argue, and they cannot take me seriously.
they do not respect my viewpoints and thoughts (while I do respect theirs).
this is not necessarily a one-sided battle. i too need to work to gain the relationship that we need.

Two nights ago I refuted all the lies I had told my parents over the last six months, and while they’re disappointed that I’ve made so many poor decisions, they’re proud that I’ve decided to be honest with them from now on.

I’ve had a long & difficult family life (on top of being disabled) full of drugs, parents arguing, money problems, both parents in jail at one point, etc, etc.

It’s going to be hard to not think of all the bad in my life when talking to my mom or dad. To top it off my mom won’t accept that my dad’s new wife is part of my life, so I cant even mention her to my mom… sigh

You can find a detailled account of my life here.

So growing up I really only got to see my parents on the weekends because they were always working. My dad at first was always out of town with his old job. So I really only ever saw my mom. And me and my dad never really had anything in common. I mean he likes hunting which i guess is okay but i am not a big hunter so i was never really able to relate to my dad. He used to have anger problems as well which have mellowed out over the years but because of them i was always kind of scared of him.

I look at my friends and see the relationships they have with their parents and I long for it. So I am going to try…I just don’t know where to start.

Being the youngest of all the children in my family, I always kinda got everything I wanted from our primary caregiver, our nanny. When my nanny left, it fell to my brothers to look after me and my parents were still not present often.
I grew up basically without them around and it got so hard for me to talk to them, even be in the same room as them. Every time they were around I just felt like I didn’t know who they were and they didn’t know who I was. And, with the differences between us causing lots of tension, I left at a really young age to live on my own.
Then, recently, my father and I had a falling out and we don’t even speak anymore. It hurt a lot because, of my two parents, he was the one I was closer to. And, after he left, my mother had no place to go so I offered her my home. I thought it would be a way for us to move on with our lives and try to rebuild the lives that my father had ruined but, for the two years she has been living with me, my mother and I still cannot seem to get along. She doesn’t approve of the way I live my life and I can’t stand the attitude she has towards me. Many times when we fight I remind her that I opened my home to her but she always manages to make me feel like absolute crap.
I just wonder where I am supposed to begin. How do you mend bridges that were never really there in the first place?

My parents and I have never been “close’ I have lived most of my life with my parents but they were not in the same home or state in the most recent years. Ever since I moved in with my mom and stepdad and brothers I have always felt like the odd one out for several reasons…not just the fact that I have a different last name from them and that Im not really like them at all. They are loud and really emotional people but Im pretty much just emotional on the inside…Im one of those people that keeps everything inside and dwells on the past instead of looking to the future. Thats me for the most part but over the years Ive been getting better about opening up more and trusting more people.
I want a better relationship with my dad because up until like the past three years has he really been not busy. He wants me to come out to his house and visit him with my boyfriend, dont get me wrong I love my dad and I really do want to see how well hes doing and how my brother is and how my dads girlfriend is keeping the house up and what not. But sometimes I just want them to have their weekends and not bother them.

i’ve gotten out of tune with my parents.. we fight alot out of the littlest things.
so i’m going to try & go out of my way to have a better relationship with them.

any ideas on how?

I’ve always had a relatively decent relationship with my parents. What changed? Expanding ideas, wanting to do more things, things that didnt necessarily fit in their plans for me. We argued, sometimes saying words that hurt, a lot. We’re on better terms now and after being on hiatus from each other for the last few months, where each verbal exchange pretty much resulted in screaming matches, we’re back to civil communication. Heck, we even get along to have great conversations sometimes. I’m looking forward to becoming closer to my parents. I understand we’ll never see eye to eye on some subjects, but that’s no excuse for us to fall out altogether..